A Tale of Two Honeymooners, Part Three-Sampling Fredericksburg

If you read Part One or Part Two of our honeymoon adventure, you know that on the morning of Wednesday, May 18, Jordan and I were preparing to leave Fredericksburg, Texas, and drive just over an hour to San Antonio, where we would stay until Friday before beginning the long journey home to Oklahoma.

After a breakfast consisting of apple juice and two HUGE muffins, we drove back to the reservations house to turn in our key. But since we weren't going to be able to check into our hotel in San Antonio until 3:00, and since it was only going to take an hour to get there, we figured it was the perfect time to explore the Fredericksburg shops. (We'd been foiled the day before when we discovered all the shops closed at the extremely late hour of 5:30--just when the early-bird dinner was being served up at Denny's).

It was 11:15  a.m. by this time, but neither of us was particularly hungry due to the hugeness of the muffins we'd inhaled just an hour earlier.

Our first encounter was this eagle, which had been carved out of a tree. Maybe it's one of those things you just have to see in person, but it was cool.

Not that impressed? Just wait. It gets better.

So we're walking along, window shopping and commenting on the cuteness of the town (okay, that was just me), when we came upon a window displaying a few jars of salsa and some BBQ sauces. We were about to walk past, but I stopped Jordan and commented on the salsa (I grew up with a dad who was always on the lookout for strange and interesting foods, especially salsas).

"Okay, let's go inside and check it out," he said.

"Welllll, all right."

If I knew what I was about to walk in to, I never would have considered not going in.

It was, in our estimation, the greatest store ever.

I only wish I would have taken a video or something, because the pictures I have don't even begin to show the awesomeness of this store.

There were counter tops everywhere filled with jars of BBQ sauces, marinades, dips, honey butter, apple butter, salsa,  jellies, jams, spreads, guacamole, and dry spices of any and every flavor you can imagine. There was at least six alcoves, and each one had three giant bowls filled to the top with wheat thins.

Yes that's right--we could sample whatever we wanted.

And we did. For a good forty-five minutes.

Oh yeah, and there was a fudge counter.

You better believe we sampled that too.

Considering the fact that we hadn't been hungry when we went in the store, needless to say we made ourselves sick eating sample after sample. And my goodness was it delicious.

By the time we dragged ourselves out of there, it was after noon. We congratulated each other on scoring a free lunch and continued down Main Street, holding our stomachs and occasionally glaring at each other.

"Why did you let me eat so much?" I asked Jordan.

"Are you kidding me?" He groaned. "Why did you let me eat so much?"

That's how it went for a few minutes. Then,

"Where do you want to go now?" Jordan turned and looked at me.

"Well," I said, pulling out my map (yes, I'm that person), "I really wanna go to the Amish Market. Amish people make good stuff."

What exactly I was referring to when I said "good stuff" wasn't clear even to me; I just knew I wanted to go. So we walked a few blocks down to the Amish Market, where we found a friendly woman wearing an apron, who welcomed us in and explained that all the cheeses and crackers and meats were processed and/or grown on an Amish farm and, oh by the way, we were welcome to sample anything we liked.

Our stomachs protested, but Jordan informed me that Bumgarners are nothing if not committed. And we'd committed to the Amish Market, and we were going to eat from the Amish Market.

Twelve crackers with assorted cheeses, two sticks of beef jerky, some red twizzlers, and a few handfuls of chips later, we were limping out of there and heading back to our car.

"We've got to get out of here," I said. "I can't take any more of this."

That's when we saw a sign for the chocolate shop. We went in, of course, because you need chocolate to wash down a lunch of samples. We were greeted by a kind, dimpled lady as soon as we walked in.

"Hello! How y'all doin'?"

"Pretty good."

"Have you ever been to Chocolat before?" she asked as she moved toward the back end of the store and stopped behind a chocolate counter.

"No, we haven't," I replied.

"Well, then." She slid open the counter door. "First timers get a free chocolate sample."

I chuckled and looked at Jordan. Of course they did.

Apparently these chocolates are a Fredericksburg specialty. They have pure liquid centers, so when you bite into the piece, you instantly get a shot of liquid. Wanna know the best part? Some of the chocolates are filled with alcohol.

I myself chose to sample the peach schnapps, which was soooo delicious. Jordan sampled the Baily's Irish Cream. Holy. Freaking. Cow.

So of course we bought three boxes (one for us, one for his parents, one for mine). His parents aren't alcohol drinkers, so we bought them chocolates that were filled with coffee. My parents like wine, though, so we got them a box of chocolates that were filled with either red or white wine--made in the Fredericksburg vineyard.

And then we left for real. After all, we'd stuffed ourselves of everything Fredericksburg had to offer.

So then we folded ourselves into our car and left for the second honeymoon destination: San Antonio.

That's coming up in Part Four. Stay tuned.