November 14, as I previously mentioned, will be Jordan's and my six-month wedding anniversary.
But it has been six months, which in context of life isn't that long, I guess, but it's still hard to believe. I remember when I dropped into the double digits for days until the wedding. Moving from 100 to 99 was pretty exciting. Then it was single digits, and as a celebration of day 9 we went and got our marriage license.
And before I could blink twice it was day 1, and I lay in bed the night before my wedding and couldn't calm my thoughts down long enough to actually fall asleep. And as I drifted off, I remember hearing one of my bridesmaids whisper, "You're getting married tomorrow."
My mom and I had planned everything down to the last flower, but when it's finally there--happening--it's hard to quench the fear that something is going to go horribly wrong.
I wanted to be present for every moment.
I wanted to remember everything.
But obviously as time passes, memories fade, and it's impossible to remember everything. Still, there are moments that stand out, and after six months, when I think of my wedding day here are some (but in no way all) things I remember:
--It was cold driving to the church in the morning. We stopped at the hotel to pick up my sister then swung by McDonald's for coffee. My car was full of dresses and make-up bags, and I couldn't stop smiling. Or, in the case of this picture, looking really weird and freaky. Don't judge.
--It took a long time to do my hair. I worried I wouldn't be done in time for pictures. But it was worth it, because it looked even better than I imagined. Although you can't tell in this picture because, again, I look weird and freaky. This was the low point, during the oh-my-goodness-why-did-I-hire-you-to-do-my-hair-you're-ruining-EVERYTHING phase.
--Right before we walked down the aisle, my dad snapped a blurry picture with his phone. And I was horrified, like, are you going to do this the whole time we're walking? He didn't, though.
--I cried when I said my vows. It was the "until death do up part" part that really got me. That was I think when the enormity of the commitment I was making finally hit me.
--When we practiced our kiss during rehearsal the night before, I made a big deal about how long the kiss should be. Long enough to take a good picture but not so long that we start making out onstage.
--I had never been so happy as I was when I heard our pastor pronounce us husband and wife.
--Driving off from the church, amidst bubbles and cheers of family and friends, was the strangest feeling...something akin to freedom and pure joy, relief and excitement. I can't really describe it. I'll never forget it.
--We took pictures in a wheat field in the time between the ceremony and the reception. It was a beautiful day, everyone was laughing, and I didn't mind one bit that my dress was getting dirty.
--Our first dance was a little scary. Everyone was staring at us, and I'd forgotten to hitch up the back of my dress, so I kept stepping on it. We were spinning more than we were dancing, and by the end I was starting to get a little dizzy.
--Dancing with my dad was everything I'd imagined. Even though I tried to have a serious moment, we just ended up laughing the whole time.
--When it was time to cut the cake, we realized my mom had left the cake cutter in the car. Jordan and I stood around for a few minutes in front of the table, waiting while my brother ran out to get the cutter. It was the same cake cutter Jordan's parents had used at their wedding, twenty-something years ago.
--I loved getting the chance to talk to friends and family who had come all the way to Oklahoma to celebrate with me. Having my dear high school friends there meant so much.
Of course, those aren't all the memories. There was the garter toss and the bouquet too, and there was more dancing and taking funny pictures with the photo booth my dad had set up. And believe it or not, I really do still feel like I was there for it. All of it.
Yes, it was quick. Sometimes you wonder if it's worth it to spend so many months of planning for just one day. But it was, that I can tell you.
And six months later, I still wouldn't have changed a thing.