Why I Wouldn't Care if I Lost My Cell Phone

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 Remember when I used to have time to blog? 
That was fun.

Tomorrow I've got a special style post planned, so be sure and check back! I even made a super awesome style collage in photoshop following this tutorial that you will definitely want to see.

Anyway, today we're going to discuss cell phones. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Those little electronic devices you carry around all the time that we keep seeing commercials about (the Samsung commercials are hilarious, no?). I got my first cell phone when I was heading off to college, and boy did I feel special. Now kids are getting cell phones at like age 8. Heck, my friend's 3-year-old knows how to work an iphone better than I do.

If you know me in real life, then you know I am not one of those people who has to have their phone with them at all times. Actually, I "lose" my phone on a fairly regular basis. I used scare quotes (quotation marks) because I don't really lose it. I just leave it somewhere like in my car or between the couch cushions and forget where I put it. 
And then I freak out because I think I lost it. 
And then I remember that I don't really care about my phone and stop freaking out. 
Then Jordan finds it sitting right where I left it the day before.

Oh, and guess what? I usually don't even have any missed calls. Does it make me sad that I don't have any missed calls after 2 days? No. It only serves to reinforce the fact that my cell phone is not a necessity in my life. 

And that I have no friends. What?

Until maybe six months ago, I didn't have a smartphone. The coolest thing my faded red slide-up phone did was receive text messages with pictures in them. I know. Totally legit. Try to control your jealousy. 

Then, through a series of circumstances I won't go into because it's boring and unimportant, I became the owner of Jordan's Android. But because I am cheap and hate technology (mostly because I'm cheap), I chose to keep the phone functions limited and not pay for a data plan. 

To my chagrin, my supposedly smart phone is even stupider than my old phone.

Check this out: it doesn't even get picture text messages! AND when someone sends me a group text, I get a lovely "download" option, which I can't do because I don't have wireless. Also, in the 9 months Jordan was the owner of said phone, he managed to step on it and break the "back" button and the "s," so I end up texting things like wasss or where'sss, and not being able to go back because the button is broken. Not cool, smart/stupid phone. Not cool.

I also hate the touch screen. Maybe I just have fat fingers, but I seriously cannot use it. I highly prefer my old slide-up phone with actual buttons. Who am I, a ninety-year-old woman? 

Indeed I am.
And proud of it.

Last week I saw a news report on 60 minutes or some other news show about how thieves are targeting cell phones. That can only be good news for me.
Thieves can have my cell phone. Good luck to you, thief, I say. My phone randomly drops the call at least every other conversation.

Of course, there are good things about cell phones, and I do enjoy having a phone and being able to pay for a phone and all that. And I feel safer having a phone just in case I were to run out of gas in the middle of nowhere or get a flat tire or something, so don't get all we-are-blessed-to-have-them-stop-whining on me. But really. Cell phones are making people dumber--that I can promise you. No one has any respect for correct punctuation or full words. It's all "tk u" and "where r u" now, and it's also ruining our ability to stand in line at Walmart without checking our phones every 2 seconds. 

I could go on, but I think you see where I'm going with this. Cell phones are useful, but they don't have to control our lives. 

Next week, just try leaving your phone at home for a day. It will change your life.