My Most Embarrassing Moment. EVER.*


[Image via my favorite Website of all time: someecards]
*This post is rated PG-13. You have been warned.
(Especially you, Dad. Look away now.)

I previously shared this post about my embarrassment surrounding sexual innuendoes. You might want to read that first so you can understand where I'm coming from. 

In summary:
Awkwardness = 1 | Me = 0

In that post, I mentioned my most embarrassing moment, but I didn't go into detail. Mostly because I don't want some weirdo Googling this certain thing and finding my blog. But I think we're past that now. 

Someone recently found my blog Googling "38DDD breasts." I don't even want to know. Pretty sure I hit rock bottom on that one. I mean, have you seen me? 

I don't even know what post would come up unless you're on page 107 of the Google search.
[Image via someecards]
Anyway, I'm stalling. Here's the story of my most embarrassing moment.

Spanish class. 
Junior year of high school. 
We're going around the room taking turns translating verbs out loud from Spanish into English. 
I am given this word: fingir

Spanish translation: to pretend

NEVER IN MY LIFE will I forget what this word means, even if I forget everything else I ever knew about the Spanish language. 

What I said: to finger

I said this. Out loud. In front of 30 teenagers. Even my teacher burst into laughter. 

And the best part is, I had no idea what I'd even said. 

I did not know what that meant and therefore didn't know why everyone was laughing. I remember looking around the room and feeling confused. My friend Alison (whom I am still friends with, btw) leaned across the aisle and whispered, "I'll explain it to you later." Bless her.

I didn't know what it meant, but I knew it wasn't good. 
Someone kill me.

It's ten years later, and I still want to die of embarrassment just thinking about it. That story pretty much sums up my life in high school. And married life. 

Remember the scrotum story? I suppose that would count as an embarrassing moment too, except I have no shame. Jordan's mom nearly died laughing when she read that one.

Have you ever had a mishap with verb translation?
No? Just me then? Okay.

Carly @ The Pinot Project said...

This story is fantastic. I am lol'ing right now.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh. Here I am, early AM, and laughing my head off. Also feeling sympathy. This is a great story. I was reallllllly naive when it came to anything like that, too! My older sister pulled us aside one day and told us all kinds of crazy stuff, because she knew otherwise we'd be clueless. I guess I'd rather not know those things that be an expert, but oh well. Can't wait to click on the scrotum link. I've already read the innuendo one!!
Um, PS about the girl crushes. I AM ALL ABOUT IT!!!! I am pretty sure telling Greg all about you and reading as many blogs as I can in any given thirty minute sitting counts as having one, too! (Have you seen my entire pinterest board dedicated go Melanie Laurent? Biggest girl crush EVER.)

Breenah said...

That is awesome! I remember having some kid in class who wouldn't shut up about molestar (to bother).

The Happy Type said...

AHAHA! I LOVE this story so much! Verbs can be tricky though! I took Russian in college and I once conjugated to write(pisat) incorrectly and ended up saying that I peed(popisat) on my desk in Russian. Oh, boy.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. :)

Unknown said...

hahahaha!!! ohhh i'm so glad i'm not the only one who UNINTENTIONALLY says inappropriate things.


Soulz Rebel said...

That's embarrassing. Even more so when you don't know why everyone is laughing

Dara @ Not In Jersey said...

actually, this one time in french class I wanted to say "my mom hooked up the internet" and I asked how to say "hooked up" in French. lol.

Ashlee Francois said...

WOW - That is really funny :) I appreciate you naiveness though :)


Unknown said...

college...orthopedics class. I accidentally called a piece of equipment called a tilt table the tit table. THe professor said I was totally unprofessional because we refer to that as the breast table. ACK.

rachel r. said...

ouch! i feel you. in my introductory spanish class my freshman year of college, it was burning up in the room so i told my professor (who was a cute T.A.), "Hace caliente." surprise! "caliente" means "hot" as in "horny." in case you're wondering--"Hace calor" is the appropriate expression to say that you're hot (as in temperature)!

Katie said...

that is so funny! really funny!:) thank you for sharing!!!

Unknown said...

Oh Amanda, that is hilarious! I'm sorry but I am laughing right now

From Foothills to Fog said...

Love this story! Found your blog through the link up and loving it! The scrotum story made me laugh out loud and get weird looks from co-workers :)

Happy weekend!

Theodora Ofosuhima said...

i went to read the story and I love that picture with your friends.

i had my fair share of embarrassing moments in school.

Allison said...

Oh you poor thing. Please keep these stories coming. Hahahahahaha.

A Brew of Blessings said...

No but this is hilarious!

Priscilla - The Wheelchair Mommy said...

This is the post that TOTALLY drug me into your blog and kept me here. I love that you don't get stuff. That has to be a BLAST for your IRL friends. In a good way. :)

Amber Marie said...

This is the second post that made me laugh out loud! That's a good thing to do for your readers...I'm adding you to my reading list :)

Saxon @ Lets Drink Coffee, Darling said...

Haha this is too funny! I'm a lot like you, my college friends almost always have to explain innuendos and sexual jokes to me because I don't get them either.

Anonymous said...

Oh goodness gracious girl - here's one for you. High school science class, we were learning about biology. I got to read out loud, lucky me. It was about "micro organisms". Then I said "micro orgasms". Yep. Laughter ensued, and I messed up again. Lovely class.


The Lady Okie said...

That is hilarious! hahaha. Oh man.