My First Kiss Went a Little Like This


*My brother Austin and I circa 2006. This picture has nothing to do with this post except that I happened to see it when I was looking for a picture that would actually fit with this post. I never found one. P.S. I still have that hat. And that signature pose.

Whenever I hear the song "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer, it brings me back to the days in high school when I would sit around thinking about what my first kiss would be like. Some of you probably know the great expectation of first kisses I'm talking about. The other half of you got kissed while boys chased you around playing cops and robbers on the playground in the third grade and are laughing at me right now. 

For my first kiss, I figured there would be birds chirping somewhere close by. I would be wearing something cute. And there would be rain. Light rain, which necessitated the use of an umbrella. A red umbrella. 

And I would pop my foot, a la The Princess Diaries, before Anne Hathaway chopped her hair off and started singing.

I didn't get kissed until the grand old age of twenty-one. I think. How old are you when you're a junior in college? Junior year was the same year I decided to go insane and sign up for the soccer team even though I'd never played before in my life. I warmed the bench pretty hard that year.


I was a junior, and Josh #1 was a senior. I call him Josh #1 forever and always because of the three boys I've kissed, two were named Josh. They also happened to be roommates, but that's beside the point.

The third boy I kissed was named Jordan, and I married him.

The night I got my very first kiss, Josh #1 and I were over at a friend's house watching Lost. That was when the show was big, and we had a group who got together every Wednesday to watch it. Too bad the show's ending was Lame with a capital L.

Okay, so Josh #1 and I are sitting on the couch watching Lost, and we're alone. A commercial comes on, and that's when he leans over and kisses me. So I giggle obviously, because it's so random and because I'm the most awkward person ever. Then I think, I just got KISSED and then LAUGHED. OHMYGOSH.

That's when our friends show up, so Josh #1 and I sit there awkwardly, staring straight ahead at the TV for the last half hour until the episode ends. And the whole time I'm thinking, YOU ARE AN IDIOT.

After the show ends, he walks me back to my dorm room. It's dark and cold, and there are no birds and no rain, and I am most certainly NOT wearing anything cute. He kisses me goodnight, and I don't laugh this time.

Then I make a beeline into my dorm room and immediately tell the entire story to my roommates while they dissolve in laughter.

After that, Josh #1 and I dated for a lengthy total of 4 months, during which time his roommate developed a crush on me, making him an easy rebound and thus creating an opportunity for Josh #2 to enter the scene for a total of 9 months before I swore off any boy with a J name.

Then I married Jordan and decided I shouldn't make promises I can't keep.

**No husband's egos were harmed during the writing of this post.

Abbey said...

I have also kissed two Josh-es! I don't know if I laughed after, though. :)

Shaylynn... a girl, a story, a blog said...

I love it girl, what an awkwardly perfect first kiss.

(I watched Lost until the last season. Why? No one knows, but I know I didn't miss a thing.)

Anonymous said...

5th grade... spin the bottle... Doug Wilson. *Swoon*

Unless we're talking non-game-related first kisses in which case: 9th grade... Josh Grandy... grew up to be gay.

Total fairytale.

Anonymous said...

That's so cute. Love it!! It's totally okay to giggle after a kiss and think the guy's kind of dumb. Thanks for sharing! I like that disclaimer, it rings true for us too, in that Greg thinks my old relationship mishap stories are hilarious and rather than being jealous like a lame-o, Greg laughs his head off. Glad you didn't give up on the J's in your life...

Curly Pink Runner said...

Team never-been-kissed right here. and yes, I'm the age a college junior would be. :)
I guess I've just been saving my pucker for someone who doesn't intend to run away after I (unintentionally) make our first kiss as awkward as humanly possible.

LeAnna said...

This is hilarious!! But I'm super proud you waited until you were college aged to kiss a boy. I can't say much, because I graduated hs at the old age of 16 and my first kiss was when I was 17, but that was basically like being a freshman in college, so...

The only guy I ever dated other than B was a real piece of work. I should blog about it some time, names changed to protect the innocent. Anyway, he kissed me under the moonlight and followed it up with "I could see in your eyes you wanted kissed" OH EM GEE. Corn ball.

We didn't last long. I found out I was his rebound and he married the girl he rebounded on me from a few years later. Nice, huh? Thanks for the jog down memory lane! Glad the third J was the charm for ya. :)

Breenah said...

I read this and thought "Oh, that makes a good blog post idea. I'll do that." Then I remembered my first kiss and quickly decided against it, haha!

Claire@MyDevising said...

I married my "3rd boy to kiss" as well! Fun story. :)

Bad Luck Jenn said...

Cute story! I also had a Josh #1 and Josh #2! That name is wayyy too common!

Liesl said...

Aren't you loving Whatever Wednesdays, so fun! Thank you so much for stopping by my blog...I think you are right about a first kiss on stage! :)

Oh my goodness, I had not heard of the song "Kiss Me" in so many years, what a hit that was so many years ago, thanks for the memories! So many of us bloggers were older when we were first kissed, kind of nice to know real first kiss, non-stage...hehe...was 19, so, closer to yours...yay for college kisses! :)

Looking forward to next week's post, your blog is super fun!