The Weirdest Thing I Remember about Our Relationship

12.04.2014


I remember the first time we hung out. Our first date. First kiss. The night Jordan first said "I love you." Those things are cute and all, but that's not what I'm here to talk about. Included in the list of "firsts" that I remember about our relationship is probably the weirdest thing ever. I don't know why my crazy brain chose to store this in the room of Jormanda moments, but here it is: I remember the first time I farted in front of him.

Seriously, why do I know this? I have no idea. But it is definitely included in the "Remember when...?" conversations we have on occasion.

We were dating at the time. I was living in a third-floor apartment, and Jordan had come over after work for dinner. The table was all laid out with food, and we were sitting across from each other. And I totally legit out-loud farted. Like, no way to hide it. It was not the chair. It was me.

I don't know about you, but I find it quite embarrassing to fart in front of other people. But it's SO much more embarrassing to fart in front of your boyfriend that you haven't been dating that long. Maybe it's just me, but I was embarrassed.

So then the next day (I found this out later), Jordan was at work and he told his friend about me farting, and his friend goes, "Well since she did it first, it's free reign for you to fart all you want now!" Apparently he was holding the loud ones in just for me, and I ruined everything.

Let's just say that in the farting department, it was all downhill from there. 
I have absolutely no one to blame but myself.

What's a weird moment you remember?
Do you fart in front of your significant other?

31 comments:

  1. i just knew him for a while at that time when he came over me and i said, "God, you're smelly" to which he replied "That's it. I divorce you."

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  2. Shew, I'm worse than a man! :/ hahha!

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  3. I remember my first time too. In my parents office at their old house in Missouri, watching tv. And yes, it certainly opened the floodgates between the two of us haha. There's nothing worse or more painful than holding in a fart. You just got to let it out and be free. Lol.

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  4. I think the weirdest moment so far has been when I first went to church with my (now) boyfriend. However, at the time, we were just getting to know each other and this old lady with a touch of dementia, bless her heart, who knew me came up to us and said to my boyfriend, "Let me tell you. That girl right there, she's made of the good stuff. The REAL good stuff." Awkward. And just last week (a little over a year later), the pastor's wife slipped up and called me Nick's fiancé. I don't know which was more awkward. Lol.
    And no. I have an inability (so far) to pass gas in front of others. I know this because I have all boy cousins and they used to have contests and I never could participate... It was tragic back then, but I'm coping with it now. ;)

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  5. You are hilarious, Amanda! I don't remember the first fart, but as my grandad's aunt always said, "There's more room on the outside than the inside, so let 'em rip!" She lived to be 105....

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  6. Oh my gosh. This made me laugh so much. Isn't it true? Ah.

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  7. hahahhaha
    this is incredible.
    that moment is one to be feared. it's just crazy!

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  8. This is so great! I don't remember the first time i let one rip in front of my hubby, so it must have been NBD at the time. But I am, uh...how should I say this? A gassy person. Period. So toots happen quite often in our house!

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  9. haha that's is hilarious!!! What a good sign that he stuck around ;)

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  10. I don't remember my first fart in front of George, but the answer to your second question...when you're pregnant....there's very little you can do to not fart sometimes hahahaha. Good thing I broke him in early with how gross I am :)

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  11. I remember the first time I farted in front of Daniel. At the time, he made a big deal about it, but now he's reverted back to the "women don't fart, poop or anything of the sort" mindset, so he acts super surprised every time it happens - like it shouldn't be physically possible. I think he does it to be funny, but I can't be entirely sure.

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  12. Hahahah! Oh goodness. That's amazing! Caleb farts all the time, it's gross...I know it's natural but ah! He and my brother do it so much when they are together and they don't understand how I don't fart every 5 minutes LOL

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  13. I do not remember the first time exactly but I am sure was early as I am sadly a gassy person. I remember a few days of us living together I had something that did not agree with me and I woke up with a rash on my arms and freaked out and though I had measles. We were in Sweden but I made us call my mom in the middle of the night and she was like you do not have measles it is just an allergic reaction. I still get teased 6 years later when I itch that I should watch out it is not measles!

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  14. I am firmly in the camp of NO FARTING EVER. Have you ever read The Fart That Almost Altered My Destiny? I cry literal tears of laughter every single time I read it. So funny.

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  15. Haha!!! I don't really fart that often but my friend does all the time. Seriously she farts worse than my Dad. She broke her boyfriend in early and he stuck around to be her husband. It totally gives them free reign though. ;)

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  16. The first fart IS a huge deal! I think every girl is mortified when it happens, but by golly, what a relief. It feels so physically uncomfortable to hold them in, and it surely can't be healthy?? After so many years together (12!), we have no secrets, farting included.

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  17. This is absolutely hilarious....and I am dying right now!! And yes--it is a huge deal! lol. At least he could be completely himself around you after that! lol

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  18. Oh my goodness so funny! I guess that's how you know it's love.

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  19. Haha! That's awesome. The first fart. It's a big deal.

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  20. Hahahahaha that's so funny. I don't blame you for remembering though if it was legit out loud; I would probably remember too! I remember we had been dating for a couple of months when we went to this college youth group thing. The pastor that night happened to be preaching on marriage and said something along the lines of "now I know you guys out there are pleading with God for him to let you marry the girl sitting next to you" of course Alex and I were sitting next to each other and what made it worse was our friends on either side of us could not stop laughing. We just both sat there mortified and turning red. I don't know if that was a weirdest moment or just an embarrassing one. I totally fart in front of the hubby, sometimes it's a contest. Growing up with brothers does that to you.

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  21. The first time I farted in front of Jarrod was because he was tickling me and wound up pushing on my stomach. I didn't even realize I had to fart, but that was totally all his fault considering I don't enjoy being tickled in the least.

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  22. BHAHAHA awesome. Also, YAY THAT YOUR COMMENTS ARE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  23. Hahahahaha gosh this gave me a good laugh! :)

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  24. Oh wow! This just made me laugh. I do not remember this moment, but I do happen to think that this whole subject is pretty hilarious while my husband is not amused by it. Our 18 month old laughs loudly when he makes any kind of bodily noise and even claps. My husband is so mad at me for this!

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  25. Oh my! I can only imagine how embarrassing that was the first time! In the 10 years we've been together, he's managed to never pass gas in front of me and I've only done it once it front of him (only a couple of years ago actually). I hear that as you get older it's harder and harder to keep it from happening (my mom and aunt were laughing about this over Thanksgiving)... so we all have that to look forward to. Hooray! ;)

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  26. Hahaha this is hilarious! Ben and I have been married for 4.5 years and I still try to pretend like it was the chair. I've only recently started owning up to it when he asks if that was the dog :X

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  27. After all these years, I still CANNOT fart in front of my husband. haha I just find it mortifying. I've never heard him do it either, so we much be of the same mindset that you simply don't in front of anyone. I'm good with that.

    Funny story tho...when my now 19 year old son was about 5, we were having dinner with friends and their kids. Farting somehow came up in the conversation, and my son announces, "My mom doesn't fart". Our friend (the dad of the other family) looked right at him and says, "Oh, yes she does". Spencer got embarrassed and said, "No. Really. She has never farted. Girls don't fart". The kids start giggling, and our friend says totally seriously, "Oh sweety, if she didn't fart, she would blow up. She farts". Discussion over. The look on his face was priceless. He just looked at me like I was from mars.
    It was one of the funniest things ever!!

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  28. OH MY GOSH. I am dying. hahahahaha.... I definitely don't remember the first time I farted in front of Jono, probably because he had been farting in front of me on the reg sooo, it wasn't that unusual. We totally fart in front of each other. It is what it is! Idk what the weirdest thing I can remember about our relationship is... gotta think about that one...

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  29. First of all, I have to say that as I scrolled down to leave a comment, I had a good laugh because the ad at the bottom reads: "Fart Machine #2: Remote Controlled Fart Machine 15 Sounds, Boom Box Technology."

    Second of all, I remember the first time I tried to be sexy in front of Matt. UGH. LESSON LEARNED. I was taking a sweater or sweatshirt off or something like that and was trying to look effortless and feminine and I got it stuck on my head and basically looked like a monkey trying to scratch its back. And he laughed until he was blue in the face, haha.

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  30. Worse than farting in front of someone is farting ON someone. Apparently I did this to Peter one night while I was sleeping. We were spooning, Peter lying behind me, when he felt a puff of air on his thigh. It wasn't until the second puff he realized I had farted on him. Needless to say, he rolled over on to his other side, away from me. He told me about it later, but instead of being mortified, I laughed until I cried. I was asleep; I didn't know!

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  31. hahahaha! i don't remember the first time i did that, but i remember once my husband was tickling and squeezing me and one just came out. i was so embarrassed. it wasn't the first but it was hilarious so i remember it.

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