Blog Talk #8: Stop Apologizing

4.17.2015

Welcome to blog talk! This is the eighth installment of "Blog Talk," in which I will give my opinion on different aspects of blogging and continue the discussion in the comments. Because I want to hear what you have to say! Yes, you're even allowed to disagree. Just be nice about it.
CLICK HERE to read the other posts in this series!
____________
Sorry this picture is so grainy. 
Sorry I posted late today.
Sorry to be so depressing right now.
Sorry these pictures aren't edited.
Sorry I didn't post yesterday.
Sorry I'm not wearing a cute outfit.

Why do we feel the need to apologize so often on our blogs? 

I think it's probably different for someone who makes their living from their blog. Not posting just because you didn't feel like it is kind of like calling in sick to work because you just don't want to go. That's not very professional. But for many of us, blogging is not our living. It's a hobby.

I don't want to say it's just a hobby, because blogging is not a "just" for me. It's an important something, but it's an important something that I fit into my regular daily life when I have the time, effort, desire, and creative energy.

Our blog and our blog posts should reflect our real lives, and that's why I don't like it when a blogger apologizes. Now, of course there's an extreme, as there always is. If your pictures are always tiny and grainy, I might not want to look at them. If you are sporadic in your posting and never let readers know when you take a two-week break, that will annoy me. Also, I might become concerned you are dead. If your posts are always depressing, I might not want to read them. 

But not posting for a few days won't kill you, and it won't kill your blog. Posting a grainy picture because that's all you had at the time won't make us gasp in horror. Showing a picture of you without makeup won't make me think you're a freak. Writing an honest post about an area in which you are struggling won't make me unfollow. (For the record, here is what will make me unfollow your blog. Spoiler: it isn't your grainy picture.)

So the next time you start your blog post with an apology, do yourself and your readers a favor and delete it. Apologizing just implies that there's a set of blogging rules you have to follow, when really it's your blog. YOU make the rules.

Sorry to have to be so blunt.
But then again, I guess I'm not.

Questions for discussion:

Do you notice when bloggers apologize? Do you apologize? If so, what kinds of things do you apologize for? When is a blogging apology okay?

41 comments:

  1. I've seen a video on that too. How people (especially women) tend to constantly apologize - even when it's not needed. I think sometimes we feel like the work (picture, short update, etc) we're putting out is not top notch, so we feel we should apologize. Blogging is a hobby, but there will be people who will stop commenting and following if your game is not on point.
    I feel the same way you do. It's not that grainy picture or short text that will make me stop visiting your site. But I do know I tend to apologize sometimes too. Gotta work on that!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's funny because when I first started blogging, I used to apologize for the same types of things - crappy photos, no photos, not blogging every day - and it was simply because I thought I had to. Everyone else did and so I figured it was what bloggers did. Somewhere along the way, I read back through my posts and felt that it sounded so dumb to be constantly apologizing for the little things. So now I rarely ever do it, especially since I don't get paid like you said. Great post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! Totally agree. Blogging is not going to be regular if it's just your hobby. I don't spend every day crocheting or scrapbooking either! It totally is their business if they stop reading because of sporadic posting. Good point :)

      Delete
  3. apologizing for not posting in a while does get on my nerves! i don't think i've ever apologized for anything... i think i made a comment about poor quality photos in one post because there was a smudge on the same spot in every picture. but i think i just said "yes, i know it's there" lol
    to me, if blogging is your hobby & you're blogging about your life then it's not always going to be regular. if you don't have anything to write about, then you don't. it's nice to stay regular or on a schedule... but real life isn't always like that so we need to give ourselves grace in that area. if people quit reading b/c of sporadic posts or bad photos, then that's their business.

    ReplyDelete
  4. True to all of this! I'm sure I've probably apologized before and it's a bad habit. Its kind of weird how we feel the need to apologize for anything and everything... My roommate in college apologized for every little thing and I would make her take it back haha. Good thoughts in this post!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I never feel sorry about my blog, so I never claim that I do. I think once, on our Hawaii post I started with a warning that I was including bathing suit pictures so if those might offend anyone that they might not want to read the post (I know that some of my more conservative readers might be shocked that I wear running shorts and a long sleeved rash guard while swimming, so I wanted to save them some trouble.) ;) When I know that I'm being a little controversial for my audience I occasionally throw in a warning or a reminder (i.e. hey, remember, I'm a Christian, that's why I occasionally write about Christian-specific issues).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I do the same. I think a warning or disclaimer is different than an actual apology. Like, apologizing for posting a blurry picture or not posting the day before. To me, apologizing takes a lot of the fun out of blogging.

      BTW, your swimsuit comment cracked me up :) How dare you wear running shorts to swim! Heathen.

      Delete
  6. I agree, and I don't (or try not to!) apologize for stuff like that on my blog. I try to frame it as an explanation instead. . .like if I didn't post for a while, I'm just like "I got busy" or "I got depressed." No reason to apologize for real life. It really annoys me when people apologize for taking a blog break or for posting outside their niche, because it's all good!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I definiteily notice when people say sorry I haven't posted awhile as if we are sitting at the edge of our couch waiting for it to pop up in our feed :) This is a good reminder and thanks for sharing becuase I'm guilty of doing some of this, I'm sure! I'm not sorry, ha ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I've always found it a bit odd for all the apologizing on blogs though it does make sense because in "real" life it seems like people apologize constantly these days! One day, I should count how many times I say or hear someone else say "I'm sorry..." Definitely gets overused often I think.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I really only notice it when the same person will apologize for the same thing over and over. Then it's obvious that they're not really sorry because then they would change it (better photo, more posts, whatever). I try not to apologize on my blog too much, although there are times when I know the photo is just really horrible or something. But you're right, it's my blog! I'll do what I want!

    ReplyDelete
  10. BUSTED! I actually started my most recent post with an apology. Well, it was more as a joke than anything, but still. The word "sorry" was used. :)

    Again, I must agree with you. We all tend to apologize for anything and, as a reader, I find it a bit sad when a blogger apologizes. I mean, nobody owes me anything. If I'm on your blog, it's because I want to. No need to apologize for something I might not even have noticed.

    One of my pet peeves is when bloggers apologize for not posting in a while.

    ReplyDelete
  11. YES! I feel like this is just an American thing that is so ingrained into us!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. YES. I am clapping for you and these words. Yes, yes, yes.

    ReplyDelete
  13. word. i think it's so weird when people apologize for that kind of stuff. i don't understand why they do so!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I do like when a blogger lets people know he/she will be on hiatus for a while if only so we don't assume they were kidnapped by Martians. It bothers me when same blogger, if they're not blogging for a living, apologizes for not meeting a schedule that that blogger set for him/herself! I feel like we should be able to live comfortably without apologizing at least in these little worlds of our own making.

    ReplyDelete
  15. PREACH! I used to get so sad that I didn't have tons of comments or tons of views and then I realized it's probably because I post whatever I want, whenever I want...and that's okay. I started this blog for me and that's just the way it is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Totally! And like Robyn said in her comment, if someone gets annoyed by sporadic posting, that is completely their business and shouldn't make you feel bad at all!

      Delete
  16. AMEN SISTER. Woo! I used to jokingly apologize for the "random post" or for my "brain being all over the place" - but you know what? That's who I am! If they don't like it, they don't have to read my blog! ;) this post is perfect.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes! So true. I am a firm believer in not apologizing for anything on your own blog. I think maybe it's nice to let people know if you plan on taking an extended break, but otherwise just do what you want! I like blogs more when the bloggers in confident than when she is apologizing all the time.

      Delete
  17. Totally agree!! I've always been a big proponent of "Its your blog, write/say/update whatever and however you want to"

    I mean, I do agree with letting people know that you aren't dead :p although while I was dealing with morning sickness I thought that maybe I was.....

    Anyway. Great post! Total agreement.

    ReplyDelete
  18. It's so great that you wrote a whole post about this because I always notice when people apologize for silly things like not having better pictures or for "falling off the radar" for a few days. I think I can deal. I don't even think about these things until they say something anyway. In some ways, I think it draws attention to little things that people don't care about or wouldn't have noticed.

    Why bring attention to something like that unless it's something you really want to talk about on your blog? Maybe you need to get more organized or learn about photo editing so you want to talk about that. But otherwise, I think it's better left unsaid.

    I used to try to post consistently on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, because I read somewhere that consistency was key in blogging. But then I realized I was just pumping out posts without taking the time to really make them what I want. Now I am going to try to blog slower so that I can create better content. But I am not going to apologize for being around less because I hope it will end up being better for everyone!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I definitely don't know why people apologize for not posting in 2 days. We have lives! We aren't just sitting around waiting for you to post something. Come on, people. Honestly, consistency may be key, but that advice to post on a schedule annoys me. It found that it just made blogging more stressful. I usually post MWF, but I don't worry about it if I don't. Blogging slower does create better content. Totally agree with you!

      Delete
  19. YES GIRL! Preach it. This is something that has always annoyed me. I've never understood the need to apologize or why bloggers feel guilty for not posting every day. I think that would take all the fun out of blogging.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Amen. this has been a blogging peeve of mine for a long time, and I try REALLY HARD to never do it. I'm sure I've failed, or written apologetic language that didn't use the words "I'm sorry" but I try to live by the "if they don't like what I'm posting they don't have to read it" rule :) not posting enough? well, I can't keep up with all the blogs I like as it is, so I figure posting 2 times instead of 4 is actually doing me a favor.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I love this! I apologize far too much, and it's silly to apologize for something so trivial in the long run. Thank you for this!

    ReplyDelete
  22. GREAT advice! I am guilty of this at times but then I just decided not to be sorry for not posting a lot. I do feel bad if I don't respond to comments on time or if I lack in keeping up with my favorite blogs (hence why you're getting a bunch of comments in your inbox today....) but life gets in the way and that's OK!! I want to be more diligent about my blog, it's one of my goals for this year, but that's tough for me. So I guess that's when I apologize is when I'm just way behind on catching up.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I love this. I often apologize (or say sorry, not sorry) for all the baby pictures. But why should I be sorry? It's my space and I'll baby spam all day everyday. Haha. Thanks for the reminder!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I actually find that I apologize more in real life than I do on my blog (my blog is 100% hobby for me and one that isn't the highest on my priority list). I apologize at work ALL THE TIME, even when it isn't my fault. It's highly annoying, but I guess deep down, I just want people to feel that I'm a humble person and one that admit their faults, which may or may not result in me being a pushover. Ha! Backbone, grow, please!

    As far as blogging goes, I feel there's a time and place for apologizing. When a blogger starts a series that I am really excited to follow (Blog Talk!) and if they only ended up doing two posts and shut it down, then I think I'd be annoyed and want quick little "sorry guys, I just didn't think it was working out". I read a lot of home design blogs these days and I hate when they do a before post and never follow up with an after post or the after post comes 2 months later. So annoying! Yes, they owe me an apology. But silly things like "sorry my usual 10am post is an hour late because I got Starbucks after Body Pump" does not warrant any sort acknowledgement or apology in my book. In fact, it must make the blogger look a bit narcissistic, thinking us readers actually care and are sitting there staring at the clock wondering if they will post today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes to that last part. I always wonder what people mean when they say "sorry for posting late." what on earth does LATE mean? Very confusing. I apologize in real life as well, but I'm trying to stop because most of the time I don't need to! And yeah, I'm sure not getting an "after" picture would be SUPER annoying. The before picture doesn't count unless there's an after, people!

      Delete
  25. i do notice that some people apologize often on their blog. i think you're right, it's because some make a living from their blog. that's why they feel obligate to apologize when they feel something's not meeting the expectation of their readers. for me, i don't. i never take blogging too seriously and i feel like i don't have to apologize for not writing something for a long time. firstly, because i don't think you should feel like you owe anyone anything, and i don't think that people just sitting there waiting for something new appear on my blog on daily basis. i don't think i'm that demanding, hha.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I have the tendency to over-apologize IRL (I live in Canada after all, if you don't they'll evict you), and I would have done that on my blog too, no doubt about it. Luckily, I read early on in my blogging journey that nobody will notice when you don't blog for a few days, and apologizing for one's "absence" will actually draw attention to it. Made sense to me.
    I get the need to apologize, but most of the time I think it's unnecessary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep. Totally true. Apologizing only calls attention to it, when really no one even notices :)
      But good to know if I ever make it back to Canada (I was there once, back in the day before you needed a passport)! I'll make sure to apologize profusely everything I go! :)

      Delete
  27. I used to apologize a lot, and then I think you said something in a former post about not apologizing (a long time ago), and it made me realize I needed to stop. I have been posting slightly sporatically in the last week or two, and at first I was kind of freaking out. Then I reminded myself that there's no one telling me I need to post 3 times a week, and if I just do two posts one week, it will all be okay. I'm really glad you brought up this topic again!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think unless blogging is your fulltime job, there shouldn't be any pressure to post more often! I'm glad you decided not to worry about it :) Real life is always more important than blogging ever will be!

      Delete
  28. And you have won again for brilliant-est Blog Talk post ever. :) I am definitely guilty of apologizing too much (in real life and on my blog) because it's something that my mom does all the time. But you make a REALLY good point. If we apologize, then that means there are blogging rules and that we have to follow them. I never put the two together until now!

    As a blog reader, I do get a little annoyed when people apologize for not posting--especially when they post infrequently to begin with. I don't really know why, but that just bugs me. I think it might be because I just want to read the post! :)

    Great thoughts, Amanda! I can't wait to see what kind of Blog Talk post you come up with next!


    ReplyDelete
  29. I sometimes apologize but normally because it's in my nature but I totally agree. Most of us are fitting this into our normal lives and blogging is a lot of work. Sometimes life gets busy and we just can't fit it in and that is ok!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh man I am SO guilty of this. Maybe not necessarily as much in blogging, but in life in general I'm a chronic over-apologizer. It's ridiculous. But I totally agree--I think as a community, we all understand that sometimes life is crazy and busy and blogging doesn't (and shouldn't) come first. I'm going to make an effort to stop being so gosh dang sorry. Hear hear!! :)

    Shea Lennon

    ReplyDelete
  31. I'm someone who apologizes a lot in real life, so I do apologize often on my blog. Thanks for bringing this topic up and making me realize that I really don't need to apologize for the things I do apologize for on my blog.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I can't stand it when bloggers have that introduction of why they've been a bad blogger. Girl, just go straight into what you want to talk about! We don't care! You do you! That's why I've pretty much stopped posting anything about my life. Because no one cares why I've been so busy this week, they just want to know the latest Harry Potter finds.

    ReplyDelete
  33. YESSSSS! Oh my goodness. It's such a pointless thing to waste monitor space on in a post. What's weird though is that it's kind of contagious - the apology. I posted today for the first time in 3 weeks or so and as I went to start the post, the first thing that came to mind was a quick sorry-for-being-MIA. It was never even a consideration to actually put that, but the thought still entered my brain because I've seen so many other posts that start out that way. So strange.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment! I will respond via email and also occasionally in the post thread if you are asking a question that other readers might be interested in.

・ DESIGNED BY ECLAIR DESIGNS