Cheers to You

12.22.2015


Yesterday I went in to work with R for the last time. Starting January 4, I will be back in the office full time, and R will go to daycare during the day. I've cried about it a lot, but ultimately this is the right decision for our family at this time. Lately I've seen a lot of different articles about daycare, some good and some bad. People have a lot of strong opinions about daycare one way or the other, but what it really comes down to is realizing that parents are doing the best they can for their children, whether that means quitting your job or continuing to work.

I will miss her terribly, but I also realize that I need to trust that God will watch over her when I can't during the day. I took her to meet her teachers last week, and I hung out in the room and played with R for a while, talking to the teachers and trying to show R where she will be in a few weeks. I really do think playing with other babies and having someone else take care of her will be good for her. Daycare is in no way a substitute for parenting, and when people say that or even imply it, it is extremely hurtful. Just a tip for you if you want to be sensitive to your working mom friends.

I will go see her during my lunch hour to play with her and feed her. I have a lot of anxiety about what will happen--how we will find a good schedule that works for her, how I will fit in all the things I need to do and spend time with her when I am off work. I know it will be a huge adjustment, and I am trying to remind myself that I shouldn't expect to find a groove immediately. It could take weeks or months even to really figure out what works best.

I cannot put into words what it has meant for me to be able to stay at home with her this long. I know not many people (in the United States) have that option. But I am thankful too for the ability to go to work at a place I like with people I enjoy, doing a job I am good at and that makes me feel fulfilled. I really feel blessed.

To all you working moms out there who may be reading this, I want you to know that I hear you. It's hard. But you are doing a great job. And you're a fantastic mom. Cheers to you, friend.

21 comments:

  1. You are amazing. She's a lucky little gal to have a mom who is so invested in her!

    ReplyDelete
  2. From one working mom to another, I completely understand! It may take awhile to get used to your new normal, but you will find a balance that works for you. You will do amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think you have the perfect setup. You leave her for a few hours in the morning, snuggle her at lunch, go back to work for a few hours, and then take her home! I have no doubt you both will do great.

    ReplyDelete
  4. R is one lucky lady to have you as a mom! You are right - God will watch over her!!! He is with both of you during this transition and it's sweet to see you obey Him!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Remember, too, you are AMAZING!! From one working mama to another - it's hard. It's tiring. There will be some really bad days. But keep the faith. Have trust. And keep on lovin' up on R. I only know you through your blog but I know you're an amazing mom!! If you ever need to talk to anyone I'm here to listen :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm getting ready for a very different version of a similar transition. My stepdaughter moved in with us last month but, because I've been off since my surgery, Jan 4 will be my first day working full time with a child at home... for this child. Her brother lived with us for a year so it's not my first time doing this. It's challenging. I remember from last time how hard it was to find my groove, and my step kids are older and somewhat independent. Cut yourself some slack and remember to focus on the things that really matter.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love this post! I have a few friends that had a hard time with letting their kids go to daycare at first but are adjusting well to it. Every parent has to make the right choice for them and their family, no one is better or worse for it! I hate that people have to even debate about it and there is all this shaming out there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I KNOW. Seriously, this should not be a thing we talk about. I've read some articles about daycare that have me in tears after (my own fault for reading them in the first place!) because they make me feel so bad for putting her in daycare. But I really do think she will like having other babies around. I just want to make sure she feels loved and gets played with too. But I am so happy I can go see her during the day! That will be fun for both of us hopefully :)

      Delete
  8. Aww! I can imagine that this is so hard! But if it makes you feel better, I was a daycare kid and I loved it! I liked being able to interact with the other kids and I do think it teaches social skills early on. :) So yay for that!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you for writing this! We are currently researching our options regarding daycare / babysitters / nanny / who knows what... the only thing I DO know right now is that me not going back to work is not an option for us, so I have to find some sort of solution. Cheers to the working mom - we can do it!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. You nailed it! It's HARD...but it will be ok. I'll be thinking of you and sending prayers your way for an easy transition!

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are awesome girl!! I'll be cheering you on and praying that the transition is as easy as can be for you both! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. The first couple weeks are the hardest, but you'll find that you BOTH can thrive under the new conditions if you have the right mindset about the whole thing. Best of luck to you both in the upcoming weeks!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I admire your openness and honesty throughout this whole transition period. My brothers and I went to daycare growing up - I definitely think it can be fun/useful for babies to be around one another. Enjoy this last week or so of all the time with your little girl as possible :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. It must be really hard, but I'm sure it will be OK. Wishing you all the best on this transition. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  15. She is so cute! No matter what you do as a parent, you can always find an article to make you feel bad about it. I've been home since my first, and worry constantly about the old fashioned gender role ideas I may have inadvertently given my children or that I'm not a good role model for my daughters. Then I work on a resume for a job I found, and torture myself about the idea of putting the youngest in daycare. You are right, we are all just doing our best, and there is never going to be just one way to do it!

    I hope you have a wonderful first Christmas with baby R! And I wish you all the best in 2016!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm so glad you have had this precious time with her! Like you said, so much longer than many parents get with their newborns. And what a blessing to love your job. I can't imagine going back to a job I hated after having a baby, but I know so many people don't have much of a choice. So I'm glad that your job is one you love. And one that allowed you to have this extra time with her. Definitely a blessing! :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Praying for a smooth transition next week! You got this, girl!

    ReplyDelete
  18. It'll be hard but you all are going to thrive in this next chapter! You're doing great, mama.

    ReplyDelete
  19. You are amazing. Enjoy these last few days with R at home! I hope they're wonderful. :)

    I so hear you on everything you wrote. Hopefully being back at work gives you some enjoyable adult time, too.

    ReplyDelete
  20. You are amazing. Enjoy these last few days with R at home! I hope they're wonderful. :)

    I so hear you on everything you wrote. Hopefully being back at work gives you some enjoyable adult time, too.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment! I will respond via email and also occasionally in the post thread if you are asking a question that other readers might be interested in.

・ DESIGNED BY ECLAIR DESIGNS