Confession Session [vol 2]

4.08.2016



I confess...

...that I have a note saved on my phone that is simply titled "Ridiculous Stories." There may or may not be five stories on that list, and four of them have to do with poop or pee. And not all of them are about R. Ahem.

...that sometimes I wonder what happened to some of the people who used to read my blog and comment regularly. Did I scare them off when I had a baby? Maybe, except I don't only blog about R, so that can't be it. Did I stop being interesting? Funny? A good writer? Who knows. (Note: this is not me fishing for compliments or asking people to comment. This is just a confession that sometimes I ponder this.)

...that I will never understand why people apologize for posting a picture of themselves where they are not wearing makeup. Here is what I think: either a) don't post the picture if you feel like you need to apologize for it or b) put on some makeup if you really think you look that bad or c) get over yourself; you look fine, and I didn't even notice you weren't wearing makeup except for the fact that you pointed it out.

...that I cried twice yesterday while I was at work because I missed R so much, and I practically sprinted down the hallway at the end of the day when I went to pick her up. This sounds horribly cliche, but it actually felt like I was missing a piece of myself until I held her again. I had no idea that was a real feeling, but in fact it is.

...that I am annoyed by the comments on a blog post I read recently where people were basically (at least it seemed like to me) saying that people who don't get an epidural are just "trying to be a hero" and why on earth would anyone want to do that when you can get medicine that numbs the pain? The blogger herself was not acting like that at all (important to note that!) but as I read the comments, I couldn't help but wonder why we can't just let people do what they want to do without bashing anyone who doesn't do it our way. Some people want to get an epidural; some people don't. Who cares? Why is this yet another ridiculous and pointless argument we like to have? 

(Related: Here is a link to R's birth story if you haven't read it yet!)

...that I spend a lot of time sitting during the day, and if I had a FitBit to keep track of my steps, I'm scared of what it would tell me.

...that there is a can of Reddi Wip in our office fridge, and I keep shaking it up and eating spoonfuls throughout the day. I tell myself this is my reward for avoiding the bowl of chocolate. Yes, I realize that's not exactly how it works.

...that I have no idea what to do for my 30th birthday coming up this July. I want to do something fun! Something different! Something memorable! And I have absolutely no ideas. What should I do?

What do you want to confess today?

41 comments:

  1. I have totally heard the same conversation about epidurals. Except it was in person and to someone who was considering a natural birth. I just remember the girl being like "I have nothing to prove. I'm absolutely getting an epidural when I give birth. It's stupid not to." And I kept thinking the same thing you said here. Different people choose different things. Why is it not okay for someone to choose something differently than you did?

    And no, your blog hasn't turned into an all-about-baby blog. Though if it had, that would be okay too. I mean, it's where you are in life right now. Of course you have other interests and things to talk about, but I mean, having a baby and raising her are a HUGE part of your life. I love your posts about her and your family. :)

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  2. Amen about the epidural issue! I get annoyed when the first thing people ask after I've had a baby is...did u get an epidural?" It's like the are judging and sizing the situation up.

    Also, I'm confessing that I might have reeeeeaaalllly dirty hair and don't care. And that I may have had cookies for lunch yesterday. 🙈

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  3. I have a fitbit that sits on my dresser, possibly because I don't want to be faced with the reality of how much I sit every day. I tell myself every week that I will wear it next week. I don't think your blog has become all about your baby, but I personally love the baby posts!

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  4. I think when we are new moms, we are all looking for validation...and that is why some of the labor or breastfeeding or cosleeping conversations get so heated. Unfortunately, it doesn't go away entirely, but when someone gets nasty I think it is more about their own insecurities than anything else.

    I hope you get to plan something awesome for your birthday! Mine is coming up, too, and I hope to get together with some friends and try something new!

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  5. I have done two epidurals and one epidural-free. Given the choice, I would do the epidural. :)

    And just so you know, the tears don't stop. I cried on Leah's birthday (Monday), because she turned 5. I cried after her kindergarten screening, because MY BABY IS GOING TO KINDERGARTEN. I cried on the first day of school because Gavin went to second grade. We just love them so much that it is overwhelming.

    I don't always comment, but I always read (and sometimes email you randomly).

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  6. My confession? I've gotten lazy and forget to comment on blogs. I think up my response and thennnnnn I never follow through. Whoops?

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  7. haha the Reddi Whip comment is great and I would be doing the same thing. Love this post!

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  8. My Fitbit depresses me with the knowledge of just how little sleep I get... Down to the minute! Thanks Fitbit.

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  9. People are silly with their input of natural births versus epidurals. I do think some people try and brag though like "Well, I did it naturally and would never get an epidural." Which, I'm glad for them but it really isn't a huge deal. People are weird about that stuff.

    My Mom said she would give me her Fitbit but I haven't tried it yet.

    Also, my Mom's cat loves Reddi Whip. She has the kind in a can, and my Mom will put some on a plate for the cat and then she opens her mouths and gets a big mouth full. I always laugh when I see her do that.

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  10. I love your blog it's actually the only blog I read consistently. You're more real than the other blogs I've read. Do something scary for your 30th birthday.

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  11. I know it's always controversial (why???) to write about stuff like that, but I hope that you know I don't feel that way at all...I think that women who choose to (for whatever reason) not get an epidural are BEASTS (in the best way), I just know myself well enough to know that wasn't an good option for me if it didn't have to be. My view is that if you have a baby, no matter what medical choices you make, you are amazing. Because you CREATED HUMAN LIFE HELLO.

    I wonder the same about people who used to comment everyday. Am I less interesting? Did I say something you didn't like? Are you okay out there? I guess we'll never know!

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    Replies
    1. I completely do not think you think that. Your birth plan was hilarious and awesome. I'll be honest: this sounds insane, but after I initially said no to the epidural, I forgot that asking for one was even an option. I'm super competitive and kind of thought of it as a competition with myself. I'm not saying that's healthy. But NOT a competition with anyone else because hello, everyone has their own reasons for doing things!

      I think I'm crabby because I was reading the comments on this other post about daycare (maybe this is a sign I should stop reading comments...) where this one lady was being super rude and said that people send their kids to daycare so they can work and afford to go on lavish vacations. HELLO. Do you realize what daycare costs? I am definitely not able to afford a lavish vacation. I think I hate the internet right now.

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    2. Oh my goodness...I can't believe someone said that about people who send their children to daycare!!! That's insane!

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  12. I confess that I come to your blog every day for updates, read all of the posts, and then... rarely comment. Oops!

    I confess that my daughter is 16 and I still miss her every day during the day! Thankfully she's old enough to text though! ;) When she goes to summer camp for a month I get really down. Both my husband and I dread the day she goes to college because we're gonna be useless every semester until breaks!

    For my 30th my bff had a cake made to look like Grover (I'm the world's biggest Grover fan) and we went dancing at a country bar. She made me wear a gaudy sash & a drunk woman tried to make out with me "to congratulate me" ?!?! and put her hand down my shirt. Not a confession (it's on film), more of a warning! LOL!!
    :-p

    Hang in there Mama - you seem to be doing an awesome job! And we all know that comments from random internet strangers CAN'T be wrong! :)

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  13. My experience has been that some women who had drug-free births are nasty to those of us who got epidurals (I've read on a blog that having an epidural basically makes you less of a woman). But I completely agree that it's a stupid thing to get worked up about. It drives me crazy when people argue about it! WHO CARES. It shouldn't matter how our baby came into the world. The only thing that should matter is that the baby is here and healthy. Not to mention, labor is different for all of us. I've heard some women say they didn't think birth was that painful (?!?!) while others (like me) had back labor that started off with contractions you can't breathe or speak through and couldn't function after 15 hours of it. There are so many things that go into each person's decision that it's stupid to care what someone else is doing.

    I can't understand why someone would apologize for not wearing makeup. They must be horrified that I frequently go into public without it.

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  14. Totes amen on the picture without makeup one. I DONT CARE if someone is wearing makeup or not. And I'll never get back the two seconds it took to read their needless apology.

    I wish women would just support each other when it comes to motherhood in general and that starts with the birth. I'm in awe and total admiration of everyone who has had a baby with no epidural because mine was like manna from heaven but I don't think they were trying to be heroes. Nor do I think less of myself for taking the drugs. I did what I thought was right for my situation in the moment and that's what I hope every woman does.

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  15. "I couldn't help but wonder why we can't just let people do what they want to do without bashing anyone who doesn't do it our way". THIS. I'm so tired of everyone judging every decision other people make, whether it's about food, birth or else. The internet had become such a judgmental place!

    I'm also asking myself the same questions regarding blogger friends/readers who have disappeared without a trace, but that's how the blog world goes, I guess. I know I've done the same thing sometimes. People and blogs just come and go. :)

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  16. I love confession posts! They are so real.

    I don't have any children so I don't know if I am qualified to talk about this, but it really bothers me when women try to one up each other/shame each other for choices involved in pregnancy, childbirth, and even raising their children. I have friends who do wildly different things and they all seem to be doing just fine. Some of my friends have epidurals and say that's the way to go; some say they will do everything in their power not to have one. Anyone who has a baby is a superstar to me, no matter what choices you make. I am kind of afraid that once I do get pregnant I will have to deal with people telling me what to do/telling me that what I choose is the absolute worst thing.

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  17. Whatever, Reddi Whip spoons totally is a reward for not devouring bowls of chocolate. I'll take it ;)

    I hate the stigma and judgment that goes along with all things birth related. And I haven't even given birth (but I read way too many birth stories...)

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  18. I've been totally lacking on the commenting myself. Mostly because we became foster parents and I'm ridiculously far behind on reading most of the blogs I follow to begin with. :)

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  19. I'm new to reading your blog (just started about a month ago), but I really enjoy it! I haven't commented yet just because... I don't know haha I guess I'll confess that I overthink things a lot. So things that shouldn't be daunting (like responding to a blog post) suddenly are. But your posts are always so encouraging and fun to read- just wanted you to know!!

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  20. I wonder the same thing about blog commenters from time to time. I know for a fact that many people still read my blog but since they no longer keep up with a blog, they don't comment. But then I'll see them in person or randomly get a tweet/email from them once in a blue moon so I know they're still out there! ;) I sit a lot at my job too which is why a FitBit has helped remind me to get up more often. It's hard, I'm stuck at my desk a LOT but at least I fill up my water bottle as much as possible, try to walk a few minutes on a break ,etc.

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  21. Everything about having a child is a personal decision. It doesn't matter if you decide to have an epidural or not, whether you breast feed or not, if you stay at home or go to work, if you co-sleep or have baby in their own room on the day you bring them home from the hospital. As long as it is not illegal in the state that you live in, it is YOUR baby and YOU get to do WHATEVER you want with YOUR baby.

    Your blog is hilarious! I check/read it every day.

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  22. Confession... I started a new job this week and I cried about it yesterday... but it will help us work through our student loans goal. Also, I read both posts on your birth story this morning and I really enjoyed them. I loved all the yelling and "am I going to die" parts. :)

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  23. I feel the same way about sitting all day. I spend most of my day sitting and I feel like it is so bad for my body. It is making me have horrible posture and back pains. I try to get up and go the bathroom every hour just to stretch my legs. I have seen some people with standing desks and I have been considering using that. But I wonder the same thing about the FitBit - will it motivate me or scare me!

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  24. Epidurals weren't offered at my hospital because it's so small, and the pain meds they gave me wore off so...not trying to be a hero and was basically forced into a med-free birth. Not the way I wanted it at all!

    Also, my (new!) office is getting standing desks for all of us. I'm excited to not be sitting all the time!

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  25. I really wish that everyone didn't feel so darn offended when they don't agree with someone else or how someone else does things/etc. Why can't we all just get along!?!? ;) I totally agree with you. Getting a fitbit helped me with my steps SO much!!

    I think about that a lot, too, with the old blog commenters. It's funny when I first started blogging I got a lot of comments from people who just don't stick around - I sometimes wonder if I'm just not interesting!? Ohhh well! ;)

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  26. I wonder the same about people who used to read my blog! Although, a lot of them are bloggers who don't write anymore so I assume they also do not read anymore!

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  27. I got a FitBit recently and always though I walked SO MUCH. And then the first day I wore it I had about 3000 steps. Talk about a reality check!!

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  28. If only people could just mind their own business and stop caring so much about how people choose to give birth to their children. They are their children after all. Haha. And I totally get the feeling about a piece of you being gone when you aren't with your baby. I even spent all day with Aiden today and then shed a few tears when I left him with a babysitter (his own grandmother!) to go out with friends tonight. I would always rather be home with him.

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  29. Maybe it's just me and my circles, but I feel like the whole natural birth - epidural controversy mostly lives online. Between all my coworkers, friends, friends of friends, husband's friends, etc., no one ever brings up the topic and are all just happy that there's a brand new baby to swoon at. It may be mentioned in passing, but mostly no one really turns it into a riveting conversation during dinner :)

    Confession: I screwed up my work calendar this week. I drove 30 minutes away to a seminar on Wednesday night....that was actually LAST night. The struggle is real. Needless to say, it was a long week at work.

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  30. A lot of people that were around when I first started blogging seem to have dropped off the face of the internet since then. I sometimes worry about what happened, because a large portion of them sure seemed way more gung-ho about blogging than I've ever been.

    My Mom chose to get an epidural for baby #6 for the first time, just because she felt like she was getting a little too old for the whole ordeal, and thought it was awesome and so cool and surreal and the funnest way to have a baby ever. haha. Even so, she chose not to for baby #7 because medical treatment here is just not at the same level as it is in America (sure, people say medical car is completely up to date here...but those people have never spent long amounts of time in a Malaysian hospital), so she didn't think it was worth the safety risk to get an epidural for that one. There's all sorts of reasons for and against, and as long as mommy and baby are alive and safe in the end, that's what matters most. I imagine I wouldn't choose one...my natural pain tolerance is pretty high and my natural needle/medical professional tolerance is excessively low...I'm not claiming that's a good thing...

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  31. I still read! :) I am not as avid of a blog reader or commenter as I once was, but your blog is definitely one I still check in with. And I wouldn't worry too much about becoming a mommy blog - you are a mom and this blog has always been about you. That's why people read! So if it's your life and your perspective, then it's fair game! :)

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  32. I don't really understand why people apologize for not wearing makeup. Picture or otherwise. I've heard people in stores apologize for it. Realistically, I don't generally care if you're wearing makeup or not. Seriously. Of all the things to care about in the world, that just doesn't make the cut. Lol.

    As for the blogging/commenting thing. I don't know this for a fact and I don't have statistics to back it up. This is just what I've noticed, love it or hate it. When bloggers have kids, it changes things. When ANYONE has kids, it changes things. As a millennial, it's just awkward when someone has a baby because... well... I have parents and they're still kind of PARENTS to me (as in I still ask for permission for things half the time without thinking). When someone becomes a parent it's like "Well, you're not one of my kind anymore, so..." Lol. It's kind of weird, kind of funny, and kind of stupid when you really think about it, but that's just how it seems to be. It's nothing against you (or anyone else), though.

    Plus, if your blog dynamic changes (shifts to where most of the commenters have kids) someone who doesn't have kids may feel like nothing he/she says is really all that substantial.

    Just a thought. A long, long thought... :)

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  33. I'd never criticize anyone for their labor choices but I plan do to everything in my power to avoid an epidural this time around because I simply have TERRIBLE experiences with epidurals. I've had 4 (not including the C-section where that's kind of non-negotiable) and out of those, I had one that didn't work very well, one that only worked on one side, and one that numbed me up to my NECK and made me so groggy and loopy I hardly remember holding my daughter for the first time. If they worked I'd be all for them, but for me... I don't think it's worth it anymore!

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  34. Bahaha! The notes you have going sound interesting! I definitely agree on the people who disappear from commenting/reading my blog! :)

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  35. I love your blog! When I'm away from my 7 month old daughter I feel like a piece of me is missing too.

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  36. i freaking LOVE that you have "ridiculous stories" in your notes app - i need to do that, because it happens all the time.

    we've "chatted" about the blog comment drop - it just kills me.
    i think that the blog game has just changed like crazy lately - so many blogs out there and so many new faces that i think people just fall away - and the only words for it are "it. sucks."

    and i have a jawbone but it's busted right now and i need to get it fixed.
    i have the "standing desk" option and i need to do more of it, i try to be conscious of how much time i'm spending sitting vs. standing.

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  37. I have a Fitbit that I don't wear because I'm pretty sure I'll earn the never before seen "you sit on your rear end too much" sticker. Also, I may need to start a ridiculous stories note... :)

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  38. um, that entire can of whip would be gone in about 30 seconds if it was me. that is my favourite thing ever. someone once told me the calories weren't that bad so i took it as an invitation to eat it all. lol. i want a fit bit but i am also scared because i sit down a lot as well. and yes to the no makeup selfies, or any selfies at all, or any apologises at all. OMG i just wrote apologises instead of apologies, but i feel like i should leave it. i don't apologise ;) because really, this is a hobby to me and i enjoy it and i love being nosy, but ultimately it's for me, so who am i apologising for? same goes for posting pictures of myself or whatever, i am not a kardashian, no one cares about photos of me except me (not saying that to be woe is me, but you know what i mean). and the people with the comments about epidurals or not.. man, people exhaust me lately. who cares? it doesn't not have any impact on my life at all what someone else chooses to do while pushing a baby out of themselves (or having it removed via c section). seriously. zero impact. so i have zero cares. i wish everyone else was like that.

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  39. I had a funny pooptime related story the other day and I told Fredrik and he did not think it was as funny as I thought and it was so disappointing. Anyways I feel like blog commenting has gone down in general lately.

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