Bye-Bye, Paci

3.15.2017


Things kicking my butt this week: 
1. Daylight savings time
2. Recovering from my exhausting work trip last week
3. Going cold turkey on the pacifier

See also: being (nearly) 26 weeks pregnant

In hindsight, maybe it wasn’t the smartest decision to drop the paci this week, but it’s happening, and at this point there is no going back. 

If there is one thing the Internet is undecided about, it’s when to drop the paci. Seriously, Google it yourself and see. I read the first two pages of articles and saw recommendations for anywhere from 4 months to 4 years. What I need is for someone to just tell me what to do already, but apparently there really is no all-in-one child-rearing book and you actually can just do whatever you want. 

I’m not mature enough to have to make these kinds of decisions.

The one consensus, it seems, is that it’s easier to drop the paci sooner rather than later, when they are older and more stubborn about it. So why are we dropping the paci now at nineteen months? Well, I’ll tell you. 

We have four pacifiers, and at some point a few months ago we straight up lost one, so we had three. I realize we should have probably had more than four to begin with, but just go with it. 

On the Sunday after I came back from my work trip, Jordan informed me that R had chewed through one. She likes to hold it in the side of her mouth sometimes, and I guess she bit a little too hard and the end came off (halfway off, anyway, but still). I found the third paci under her crib, but right before I gave it to her, I looked at it, and it had some kind of mold/snot/liquid inside of it. Totally gross. Don’t judge us. So we tossed that one, obviously, and then there was just one left. 

Except we couldn’t find it. 

We searched in all the pockets of everywhere, the car, her backpack, my purse… gone. At that point the only option was to either drive to the store and buy more or just tell R that the paci went bye-bye and have that be the end of it. I thought of some better reasons why now would be a good time to drop the paci anyway, but the real reason is that we were just too lazy to drive to the store and buy more. 

Poor R didn’t get any warning, no countdown, just paci go bye-bye. 
Forever. 

She hasn’t used it since Saturday night, and dare I say it? We might be making progress. 

Sunday afternoon she refused to lie down for her nap, and I ended up rocking her for two hours. Sunday night she screamed bloody murder for a solid half hour while Jordan and I took turns going in to pat her and tell her the paci was gone but she was a big girl and could sleep without it. I felt horrible, especially since I’d just been gone from her for four days and now I was back to torture her by taking her paci away. 

Sunday night she woke up twice in the middle of the night, both times for over an hour and both times standing up in her crib screaming, only stopping if one of us held her. On Monday I took her to daycare and told them we didn’t have any pacis and to try and get her to nap without one and… good luck? They said she did take a nap eventually, but it was short and she only went to sleep after they swaddled her and rocked her. 

Monday night as we prepared R for bedtime, Jordan and I gave each other pep talks to stay strong and went over our plan for the inevitable middle-of-the-night wakeup. She screamed for her paci three times at 1:00, 3:30, and 5:00, and we took turns going in there to reassure her that she was okay. 

Yesterday it took her an hour to fall asleep at daycare (bless them), but miracle of miracles, at bedtime she only cried for about five minutes before falling asleep and, most shocking of all, she didn’t wake up once in the night! I really don’t want to be too optimistic, but I feel the worst of it might be over. (Unless pacifier regression is a thing? Don’t tell me about it, if it is.)

She knows that the paci always sits on top of her dresser, and so every night and every morning, we wave bye-bye to the paci together, and she says, “Bye-bye, buba.” I think she’s getting the idea that the paci is really gone!

As with everything about raising a child, Jordan and I have absolutely no idea what we are doing, and everyone will have different opinions about this, none of which are wrong. But I do feel confident in our decision to go cold turkey on the paci. She seems to be moving in the right direction, and hopefully her naps and bedtimes will improve until she’s mostly back to her normal sleeping habits where we can put her down and she will fall asleep on her own. I guess we will see! 

But I will be happy to have gotten rid of the paci before Baby Boy arrives in June. I feel like if she were still using one and saw the baby using one, it would be much harder. 

I just think maybe next time we won’t drop the paci on the same weekend I come back from a work trip on Saturday at 11:00pm and the same weekend as Spring Forward. This might, however, be a good time to start drinking coffee. 

Because this week is kicking. my. butt.

DID I JUST WRITE AN ENTIRE BLOG POST ABOUT A PACIFIER.
What is my life right now.

30 comments:

  1. HA HA HA! Your last two lines! While I haven't had to deal with taking a pacifier from a baby, I still feel ya! You're doing great and I promise you have done no harm. lol. If you just wrote a whole blog post about a pacifier, I just read it. It's all good! :)

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  2. Oh my gosh. Your week! DST is kicking our butt too, but the pacifier situation sounds awful. I think you're probably doing the right thing by doing it sooner rather than later. A good friend of mine took her almost 3 year old's away just at bedtime since it was starting to move her teeth, and she's been going through hell for months now. Her daughter stays up to 10-12 at night crying for it! When Gracie was a newborn, all I wanted was for her to take a pacifier, but now I'm glad she never did.

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    1. Yeah once we realized we literally didn't have one in the house, I told Jordan we should just cut her off. If we waited until Baby Boy got here, I think it would be much harder to get her off it, especially since they will be sharing a room. And the progress we seem to have made just since Sunday is encouraging. She only uses it for naps and bedtime anyway so it's not a problem other than that. She just needs to get used to sleeping without it and I think she can. I agree that sooner than later is probably good. Once she's old enough to really fight us on it I don't think that would go very well.

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  3. Posts like these make me wonder if I just never want to offer a pacifier in the first place...but so many people swear by them! !!!??? HALP.

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    1. Using one was great for us, but obviously at some point they need to get off it and that's the hard part!

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  4. Oh my goodness, what a week. I'm so sorry it has been a rough one, but I really do feel like you guys are on the downhill slide.

    This makes me glad that Ava was never interested in a pacifier. We offered - I wasn't opposed to paci's at all - but she wasn't into it. I think I'll thank her for that when I next see her. :)

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  5. Dropping the paci is something I am so not looking forward to. We've got four (one for the crib, one for each car, and one for the diaper bag), but last night he woke up screaming because his paci had made its way to the floor. I know it needs to be done, but ugh, I really like sleep. :)

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  6. I'm sorry you have had a rough week but awesome on dropping the paci cold turkey!

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  7. This is exactly what happened to me with dropping bottles! We had packed for a trip and were remodeling our house and our kitchen was literally WRAPPED IN PLASTIC and I had no bottles available to me. We were at night time only, so I decided it was the day.

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  8. I wanted time take P's soother away by 18 months then molars happened. Then I was going to do it when I was off work but baby happened. My dad weaned him off it during the day right after Molly was born and he was surprisingly cooperative. Then the same thing happened as with you and they all died so we went cold turkey at naps and bedtimes. He doesn't even care thaw the baby has one and he doesn't. Be strong, persevere, and I'm sure you're through the worst of it. Well done!

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  9. This sounds...stressful. Should I avoid introducing a pacifier at all?! Gah....

    Ah, such a cute picture!

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  10. Oh no! So sorry you are all having a rough time with the transition. My kids both used pacifiers sometimes in the first six months or so but neither got very attached and let it go by themselves, for which I am eternally grateful. HOWEVER - They are both deeeeeeeeply attached to these little blankies with ribbons sewn in - Know what I mean? We lost my son's for two days last week and it was BAD NEWS. IT IS NEVER LEAVING THE HOUSE AGAIN.
    Love sleeping baby photos!!! So sweet. :-)

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  11. We went cold turkey right after Charlie turned two. We told him the "trash truck" must have taken it away and he just kind of went with it. The first week was pretty bad, but he adjusted better than I thought. Only recently have I had issues with him stealing Crosby's, but I'm not sure if he's just doing it to get attention.

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  12. I am a very big fan of pacifiers. They're like magic. But I'm also a very big fan of your ultra-practical no more pacifier decision. No more pacifier for R because....there really IS no more pacifier. It literally is gone. Not just a trick on the part of the parents. Now that's perfection.

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  13. Oh my gosh, go mama! I can't imagine crossing that bridge right now, ha. I'm glad she's doing better though!! Here's hoping it continues. Fingers crossed!

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  14. LOL! "Did I just write a whole post about a pacifier?!" ;) too funny. I'm glad for you guys and hopeful that the worst of it is over and that she doesn't miss it!

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  15. Oh my gosh that picture is to die for hahaha how cute

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  16. i am absolutely not mature enough to make any decisions and really like other people/books to tell me what to do.
    good to hear R seems to be getting better with it, hope it continues to do so.
    there are a million (or a hundred) photos of me as a kid holding my baby brother's nose to get him to spit his pacifier (or dummy, to me) out. apparently, even though i still had them (i was 11 months when he was born), i didn't want him to have them. so i would hold his nose so he would spit it out (what kind of devil child was i?) except sometimes he didn't spit it out and basically i apparently tried to kill my brother. meanwhile, my mum took photos. um, okay. haha.

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  17. YOU ARE A STRONG WOMAN!

    And pacifier regression is not a thing. I mean, I don't know that for sure, obviously, but I feel like we should just agree that it is not.

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  18. Ahh, good for you, you're brave! We just gave up the bottle cold turkey a few weeks at the 18 month mark, so I'm no where near ready to make her give up the paci, mainly because she still doesn't sleep through the night very often (I've tried everything, it's just her personality), and I work during her naps so I need her to sleep. There really is no pefect timeline for anything -- we're going to tackle potty training first before the new baby comes, and get to the paci eventually!

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  19. Hahaha- your last two sentences are great.
    I don't know when my parents to my pacifier, but I DO have memories with it. I was a oral child so I chewed on stuff all the time. Maybe my memories are of stealing my brother's pacifier.... I'm not sure. Ha.

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  20. Yes you did write an entire blog post about a pacifier, but it was such a good story! No better time to go cold turkey from the pacifier than when there isn't one in the house. That's the only way I can get myself to not eat ice cream. I'm glad R is doing better and I hope you get some rest this weekend!

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  21. You sure do have a lot going on!! I feel like I should knock on wood before I say this, but I'm glad she is doing better!!!

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  22. Camden refused to take a paci after he was like, 4 months old and I have always been super disappointed by that but reading this makes me think twice. I'm sorry you guys are having such a hard time with the transition but I totally get your logic for doing it right now. LOL to your last sentence. Those are my thoughts at about 90% of my daily conversations.

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  23. Oh man, what a hard week! Sometimes I'm glad that Raven is a thumb-sucker, but I can totally foresee potential problems down the road trying to break her of that habit since she has her thumb on her ALL THE TIME. For that reason, the paci might win as the easier of the two options :)

    Hope there's no regression and that it's all smooth sailing from here! (And hey, maybe she'll even forget about it, right? Eh?)

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  24. Three thoughts.

    1) I don't remember when we got rid of the pacifier, but at some point we'd just use it at night and then when they gradually got lost and we couldn't find any more they were done with them.

    2) Even if they have been weaned for years, I still catch my other kids sticking the baby's pacifier in their mouths when s/he comes.

    3) Better a pacifier than a finger-sucker. My baby sucks two fingers (first of our 6 kids who has not taken a pacifier which made for an awful first few months when he couldn't control his hands) and recently I discovered macerated skin and a flesh wound between those two fingers because they are always wet. Gross.

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  25. Haha sounds like you're making progress!!! I am terrified of the day when we nix the paci at bedtime. I can't imagine that horror!

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  26. HA! The ending of this post is awesome. But this is real life! I love it! I'm so glad that you are making progress! I really do hope this has continued to go well! I think you are right that it would've been a lot harder to take away the paci if she was still used to having one and she always saw her little brother with one. I say: well done! :)

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  27. I don't even remember how I got to your blog but I just took my 16 month old to his first dentist visit and they recommended they be done with the paci by 2 if that is any help?? haha Mine could almost go without it so we are working on it also. Luckily the daycare is working on it also with his whole class, bless them!! Congrats on #4, I am trying to talk myself into #2 but I'm not so sure.

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    1. ok no idea where I got #4 geez, congrats on #2!

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