Confession Session vol. 8

9.07.2017


Whatever happens next, I hope we can still be friends.

Whenever I see a nursery room reveal, it almost always includes some type of gorgeous display of artwork or bows or tiny baby shoes hanging directly above the changing table. And it's adorable and also totally and completely nonfunctional. Have you ever tried to change a squirmy toddler? They will flail about and knock all that cute stuff right down.

Speaking of baby stuff I raise my eyebrows at: spending more than $10 on a crib sheet. Sure, Etsy is exploding with the most adorable, organic crib sheets with fox patterns and black polka dots, but your baby doesn't care that you spend $45 on their crib sheet and will puke and poop explode on it just the same. Related: changing pad covers. Whoever came up with these things is an evil genius. Resist.

It's back to school time, and all the preschool and kindergarten moms are posting about how sad they are that their child is going to be away from them all day and how much they are going to miss them. And yes, I feel for you. I am sympathetic. It's so hard to be away from your child all day. But as a working mom who has spent all day away from her babies since they were infants, I also sort of feel like, Hi, welcome to my level.

I have a hard time being friends who people who are flaky. DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO DO. BE WHERE YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO BE. Let's move on. I really can't talk about it.

Continuing my ongoing quest to be grouchy about anything related to Instagram stories, can we talk about the new thing people are doing where they post a screenshot of their IG feed with a heart over the most recent photo and write "check out my latest post!" Come on, guys. It's okay if not every single person who follows you sees every single photo you post. Don't waste my time with this nonsense.

I'm probably going to get some hate mail for this one, but here it goes: I totally understand why people who don't have kids say their pets are like their children. There are a shocking number of similarities, and yes, I'll give you that your golden retriever Sparky is a beloved member of your family forever amen. But I don't even know how to respond when that same person has a child and now refers to the dog as the child's big brother. NOPE.

Posting pictures of kids on the potty on the internet. I think it's inappropriate HOWEVER, I totally get why people do it because R is (very very very loosely) working on it, and when she's sitting on the potty it's adorable and I want to take twenty pictures and show everyone. I won't, but what I'm saying is that I sympathize with the urge.

Anddddd.... last but not least. I confess that when a blogger posts a list of confessions and it turns to to be a bunch of things like "I confess that I thought all day yesterday it was Wednesday but it was Thursday!" or "All I had for breakfast was a cookie and I didn't put on makeup until noon!" it makes me wonder what is wrong with them. Don't get my hopes up about sarcastic ranting and then hit me that snoozefest. Swipe left.

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? I think I might have lost some of you on the dog thing.

Make me feel better and confess something below. This is a safe space.

Read more confessions here.

27 comments:

  1. I guess I kind of feel when people post picture after picture of themselves on IG it's just that they NEED the attention ya know? On the baby thing, when it's your first it's exciting and again your first so you spend that crazy money on stuff but I can totally see from #2 on no reason to do all that spending! haha I totally cringe when people post pictures of their kids on the potty, so not right! You didn't lose me to any of this.

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  2. I feel so strongly about Point #1 (beautiful changing tables) and also about ALL WHITE changing areas. Do you know what is going to happen there?! My guess is no. I have threatened several times to only buy black and navy blue things for the next baby because some of those stains just DON'T come out. Ha! Also, the screenshot of the IG feed BS... hate, hate, hate. I have actually unfollowed some people entirely who do that too much. I'm sorry, I have too much real life going on for that nonsense. Blerg.

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  3. yes, yes, YES to instagram feed screenshots with the photo colored over. 100% of the time, i've already seen the photo. i know the IG algorithm is stupid, but so is that screenshot method.

    haha, we've never referred to tyler + milo as jackson's big brothers. that's just... odd? at least it is for me, but to each their own, i suppose. :)

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  4. Same with elaborate baby outfits, especially if it's uncomfortable. Babies are always either about to puke, poop, or fall asleep, and you don't want that to happen in fancy/uncomfortable threads. And chances are that outfit is a pain in the pooper to take on or off. God made onesies for a reason.

    Unschooling. Like. What? That's awesome if you're homeschooling in a non-traditional way. But that's all it is. You're not NOT schooling them. (Okay, the extremists are not schooling, and that's an entirely different issue that can't be reasoned with.)

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  5. So you almost make me want to live in Oklahoma just to be friends with you in real life because I couldn't agree with you more about every single thing in your list. The pet thing drives me bonkers and I just want to say you know you can't kennel your baby right?! Enough said. Also- organic crib sheets? Call me ignorant but what makes a sheet organic versus non-organic? Sheesh. Oh and flaky people are not in my life. I can't even deal- you're flaky = we're not friends. I'm trying to think of some confession but you pretty much hit all my big ones (flaky people especially). I guess the last thing I have to say is I can't stand all the selling that goes on over the Facebook these days. LipSense, ItWorks, Scentsy- like you try to sell me stuff and I'll unfollow you because I'm so over it. Go deliver pizzas on the side, I'm pretty sure you'll make more money.

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  6. Ha, I love these. And agree with them all.

    I CANNOT with Instagram sometimes. I love it, but I DESPISE freaking Boomerang. And anyone over the age of twelve should never, ever, ever use an animal face or flower crown filter. Just no.

    It's a little appalling what some people post online of their kids. Thankfully almost all of my IG followers are either actual friends, long time blog friends, or family...but the first thing I did before posting any pictures of Imogen was make that shiz private. I'll still never post potty/naked photos or anything that might be embarrassing to her someday but some people do and their IGs are PUBLIC. I don't get it.

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  7. I agree with almost all of these. I laugh every time I see people hanging things right above the changing table GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. I can't handle the expensive crib sheet situation. People literally charge $60 for them!! IT IS FABRIC. That will be stained in 5 seconds.

    IG stories can be the worst sometimes. I've just started seeing people do the thing where they color over the screenshot of their most recent post. WHY. Also people who keep posting an update that they wrote a blog post and "swipe up!" I get so annoyed I refuse to swipe even if I plan to read it and it's convenient. You know how I feel about Boomerang.

    I'm horrified about what some people post of their kids. I've seen a lot of naked toddler pictures/videos lately and it upsets me. I also saw someone (with a big, public following) post a video of her kids walking into their school building and following them to the class. And it tagged the school. A CREEPER COULD FIND THEM WITH ZERO PROBLEMS. Another woman took a video of her daughter singing in the shower and posted it. I mean, you didn't see anything, but I would've died if my mom did that to me. PEOPLE.

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  8. These made me laugh so much! In reference to the nursery, a family friend of ours worked at Pottery Barn Kids and would laugh at all of the moms who would come in and spend thousands for their kids nursery. The friend would just smile but secretly think "oh hun, your child will destroy all of this".

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  9. I think it's dumb when people refer to their pets as their kids, but whatever. I also think it's dumb when people refer to their pets as their kids' siblings, but I will admit to doing that sometimes purely because Quinn is an only child, so anything sibling related we place on Sassy.

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  10. HAHAHA literally LOLing and picturing you say this after listening to your stories. I hate when people post that their outfit is on sale. Shirt is only $149 ! WHAT! Are you kidding. If it ain't $10, forget it. It's goign to be puked on and pooped on. Just like those crib sheets. No thanks.

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  11. Ha. Obviously I don't agree about everything, but that's perfectly ok. Lol
    I don't have kids but I've felt that way about stuff on or above changing tables. I've babysat enough to know that that stuff is going to be on the floor if baby has anything to say about it.
    I also feel similarly about posting pics of kids on the potty/in the bath/naked. Totally opening the door for creepers...

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  12. I'm definitely on board with the nursery thing! I don't understand people who ridiculous amounts of money on things that are going to get peed on haha.

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  13. I get the dogs are a big part of the family and all, but the term fur-baby and fur-kid irritates me!

    I am so with you on the instagram story thing where people a screenshot of their feed and direct you to go see their last post. What the heck? Annoying.

    I follow someone with a big following who I really like on instagram and last night she posted an instagram story of her kid pooping in a campground bathroom. Like, sound on and cheers when he had "success." I feel like that was a major violation of his privacy. And also why would someone want to show that to thousands of people? It was very weird to me.

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  14. My favorite cribs sheets are the Cloud Nine line at Target. $10 and super cute fabric that looks identical to the ones from Etsy! Also, she doesn't even sleep there, so they are a cheap photo backdrop for now.

    Umm, here's for a true confession that I'm ashamed of and makes me a terrible person. I am slightly annoyed that everyone who has come to visit me so far has brought me gorgeous bouquets of flowers instead of food. Except my mom. She managed to pack a whole bag of my favorite bbq chips (that I cannot get in CA) in her carry on luggage. That is is love.

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  15. I really want to do a confession post but I feel like my confessions are either too much for the internet or not good enough for the internet. Yours are spot on. I hate it when people flake on me!!! It drives me crazy because I go out of my way to make time for them.

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  16. Omg, i agree with all of these (and I don't have kids or pets). Especially the heart over the insta post or the fake confessions people have. I feel like I can't do one of these posts because mine would be too much Real Talk, haha!

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  17. I think I've said that I'm a dog-mom in the past, although rarely, but I have never referred to my dog as my daughter or big sister to my kids.
    Those perfect-perfect nurseries (and also kids birthday parties, but I know we've already discussed that) are definitely a sore subject for me. Partially I'm like WHY??? You know everything will be messy and stained in two seconds. But I know I'm also partially jealous of people who have the time, inclination, creativity, and $$$ to go all-out.

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  18. the way you feel about expensive baby stuff and changing pad covers is the way that i feel about all-white/wood nurseries and toys...
    also, dogs are not children. you are allowed to love your pets a lot, but you don't have to make a direct comparison to children. case in point: every single person has a monetary threshold where they would make the difficult choice to put their pet down. you would never do that with you child, ergo, you do not love your dog as much as your child.

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  19. So - because I love your blog and love the REAL ness of it - this is my second time ever commenting and you win both! Props to you!

    Confession - photography these days. I LOVE a good photographer and good photos - but where is the real pictures of real life? I want a photographer who comes to the house and takes pictures and there is no pre-planning of clothes/designs/themes? As much as I love the finished product - it stresses me out! Oh and what has happened with senior pictures?!

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  20. I'm not sure I understand the "dog is the big brother/sister" thing. So if the couple was royalty and they died, then the dog would become the next monarch? If they lived in Old Testament times, the dog would inherit the father's property and responsibility as his birthright? I'm confused.

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  21. YEP, totally hear you on the working mom thing. We've been away from our babies since they were actually babies so I can't really sympathize that much with the starting school moms. Sorry not sorry? lol. I mean... I know it sucks and it's hard and all, but we've been doing it for years.

    I sometimes call the dogs Caleb's siblings but I do it jokingly. I don't REALLY consider them to be siblings LMAO!

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  22. Oh man! You had me laughing so hard at this post!

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  23. I am with you on almost all of these except for the pet thing. Obviously :P

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  24. i don't really call my cats children, they are my cats. i love them a whole lot and i'm sure i will still love them when i have kids, but they are not my daughters and they won't be my kid's older sisters. they are cats for pete's sake.
    the check out my latest post thing on instagram is rage inducing.
    i feel the same about confession posts. or when they are like i confess i totally bought this handbag and use an affiliate link. stop.
    the kids on the potty thing, like you i get why people have the urge to share the accomplishment, but like share it with family. don't put it on the internet.
    flaky people are the worst. i will bail all day everyday if i am the only one who i'm relying on (like bailing on the gym) but if someone is meeting me or relying on me, i have never bailed unless i'm sick. i'm never late, i never forget, i never cancel. nothing. i can't handle people who don't give me that consideration. so freaking rude.

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  25. So our changing table is actually a dresser with a mirror attached above it. It's Little Bit's favorite thing to do to stare at herself during changing. Hopefully she won't damage it when she's older and flailing around during diaper changes, ha!

    Our crib sheets are definitely on the basic side (thank you Target for cute $10 sheets), but we do definitely have changing pad covers. Does it count if we didn't purchase them? One was a hand-me-down and the other was a gift. That makes it a little better, right? They're just too cute! ;)

    Hahaha! Christopher totally calls Oreo "big brother" to our baby. No shame. I didn't at first, but finally caved. I'll still be your friend if you'll still be mine. :)

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  26. You are funny =) I think everyone's opinions are so interesting.

    Speedy will always be a dog to me but they do become like family. I don't think I'd go around telling everyone that Speedy has a sibling where it was a legit thing I believed but I would tell Speedy she gained a little sibling friend. I also make sure when we are around kids she knows she is nothing. That sounds mean but she has to know she is a dog not a human.

    And IG is gettin' weird with stories. I saw someone did that and I thought it meant they had posted a really good blog post and I went looking for it and couldn't figure out what the heck they were talking about but then realized it was an IG post. Weirdness people.

    Okay, here is my 'confession' and you'll probably roll your eyes and laugh at me. How is it that Mom's wont' post personal stories about their toddlers and children but they will willingly post their birth stories along with pictures of how that baby tore open their vagina????????? Maybe I'll change my mind when I have kids but it's doubtful =)

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  27. Ha ha, yes. Part of me feels like I need to touch on each one of your confessions but I don't want to submit an essay to you when I am essentially agreeing with each one. So, here is my attempt at keeping it brief ;)

    I love looking at those adorable and dolled up nurseries, but I too wonder how they think it is going to work out well for them. Weird and gross liquids shoot out of all extremities of babies and kids and that expensive decor is going to get ruined mighty quickly. Also, I love back-to-school time. I work full time so my son has to be in daycare during the summer, which I am not the most thrilled about. During school he doesn't have to go to daycare so I am thrilled! Lastly, I have three kids and two dogs. Our two pups are a huge part of our family and I couldn't imagine it any other way.

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