currently: may 2020

making: I made a batch of lactation cookies last night, which is really just my excuse to eat five cookies a day while tricking myself into thinking they are "healthy" and "good for me" because they have Brewer's Yeast, some ground flaxseed, and coconut oil. But also sugar and chocolate chips soooooo yeah. Just let me live in denial. thankyoubye.

missing: kind of everything, but mostly I miss casually hanging out with friends and family.

*we went strawberry picking at a local farm at the beginning of May! it's one of my favorite spring things to do. This was our third year to go!

learning: all about gardening! I know in my last post I scoffed at people who have time and brain space to pick up new hobbies right now, but after a year of talking about it, we finally put in a raised bed in our backyard a few weeks ago, and we have plants! This is huge for me. I've killed every green thing I've ever had, including two succulents, which I'm pretty sure can survive boiling under the desert sun. Looking back on it now, I'm pretty sure I watered them too much. Anyway. We planted green beans, zucchini, and okra, and even though plants have been growing out of the earth since the beginning of time, Jordan and I can't even handle how cool it is to watch. PHOTOSYNTHESIS. aka magic.

*we stopped at a wildflower field to take a few pictures. I want to take R here and take some 5yo pics of her, so hopefully we can sneak away soon and do that.

loving: besides our garden? I'm 100% loving having a baby around. Granted, would I choose to have a newborn during a global pandemic and quarantine? No. But this guy is bringing me so much joy and so many snuggles, and I don't hate it. I was really nervous about the transition from 2 to 3, since I've heard it can be rough, but honestly I still think going from 0 to 1 has been the hardest for us.

*we went to a local nature park one Saturday morning for a hike! It was so so nice to get out in nature for a bit. The kids had a great time.

watching: I wish I could talk about what I've been reading, buuuuut, I haven't been reading anything. So I'll talk about shows! Jordan and I are watching the ESPN documentary series about the 90's Chicago Bulls team called "The Last Dance." It's so good and like a blast from the past to watch. I remember watching those games! So fun.

I also just re-watched Back to the Future 1, 2, and 3 on Netflix. It's hilarious to see what they thought the year 2015 would be like. Hover boards and flying cars and jackets that automatically adjust to your size. Oh, and apparently in the future, everyone wears their pants inside out. LOL. I'm rewatching "The Office" as I listen to The Office Ladies podcast. Don't judge me. F goes to sleep super late despite my best attempts, and I end up just sitting in the recliner nursing and watching TV every night. Scrambling my already scrambled brains ;) 

what have you been up to currently? I hope you are doing well! Thanks as always for reading!

*we love making pizza! Flat breads from Aldi, Italian chicken sausage, turkey pepperoni, mozzarella cheese, and pasta sauce. The kids get their own bread and bowls to make their own, and they love doing that!

i didn't mean to talk so much about clothes

My last blog post was April 16, and guess what happened on April 17? I'll tell you because you'll never guess. My maternity leave ended and I'm back at work full time! Of course by back at work, I mean working at home by myself with three kids. Yay! IT'S SO FUN AND NOT AT ALL STRESSFUL.

See also: I'm actually feeling really stressed out.
I might be dying.

If one more person posts on social media about their quilt sewing or their bread making or their painting projects or asks what everyone's "quarantine goals" are, I'm going to freak out. I literally have one goal every day and that is to survive with everyone fed and alive and my sink only partially full with dishes.

I'm doing okay and not doing okay. Weirdly both are happening at the same time. I'm deeply grateful for this extra time with my kids and also wish I could lock myself in a closet as soon as I wake up. R started this thing where she pokes you on the nose while hugging you so hard you're choking, and it makes me feel like I might be actually going insane. I want everyone to stop touching me forever.

F is eleven weeks okay, and I'm sorry to say, it feels like eleven weeks. I don't remember him not being here. He's a dream baby and the actual sweetest thing. He cries only when he really needs something, wakes up just a few times at night, eats well, and gives the best tiny baby smiles. He's the only one allowed in the closet with me.

I make a scrapbook of the first 12 weeks for each kid, and poor F will have nothing in it. We've done nothing. Gone nowhere but the park to throw rocks in the pond. Seen next to no one except grandma. But I will say, I've had a ton of fun dressing him even if no one sees him but me. I didn't discover small shops and buy/sell/trade groups until a few years ago, and F is getting the full wardrobe exploration of my second-hand shopping addiction.

Speaking of clothes, recently I moved all of R's clothes where she can reach everything herself. Her shirts are in a dresser drawer, her pants are in a bin under her bed, and her dresses are on a lower rack in the closet. I haven't been saying a single thing about what she wears except "go get dressed," and I love seeing what she comes out wearing. She really has great taste and puts together such cute outfits! The only problem is that now she changes 85 times a day.

J is oddly picky about clothes, and although he's not fully able to get dressed all by himself, he does pick out his shirt, pants, and underwear and gets feisty when I choose for him.

I didn't start this post thinking I'd write so much about my children's clothes, but this is where we're at. I'm judging myself that I haven't blogged in 3 weeks and this is all I have to talk about. But think about THIS: F was born February 18. The few weeks before that we didn't go anywhere because I was super pregnant and uncomfortable and didn't want to do anything but sit on my couch. Then F came and we didn't go anywhere because I was recovering from having a baby + it was cold/flu season and we didn't want to get out too much with a newborn. THEN, just as I was feeling like, hey, I want to see people! everything shut down and no one was allowed to go anywhere. I've basically been quarantined over a month longer than the general population. I love my house but also hate my house right now.

I guess I'll go now... I'm rambling and saying pretty much nothing. But I wanted to check in. I'm alive! We are healthy and thankful to have jobs and a home. My kids have cute clothes, and I never take off my pajamas. I started running again! Unrelated but exciting,

We might not be thriving, but we are doing our best. I'm clinging to God's grace each day.

Just don't ask me if I have any goals. Because I absolutely totally do not.