spring forward.


Well we sprung forward. Am I too late, or can we still talk about this?

I feel like at this point the spring time change has no other purpose than to remind us all that no matter what else we may disagree on, we can all get excited about it not getting dark at 4:00 in the evening. BUT. It comes with the price of being tired every day for the next eleventy hundred days. My clock says it's 10:00 and time to go to bed, but my brain lies and tells me it's only 9, so I stay up way past the time I need to be asleep. It's a vicious circle I have so far been unable to climb out of it.

My 3-year-old DID NOT care that it was only 6am when he shouted excitedly in my face, "The sun is up, so I'm up!" Needless to say, the kids are very confused. Jordan and I are tired. It's going well.

Speaking of J, he will be 4 in June, and I just today finally finished his baby book! I had it mostly filled out but was missing a few of the monthly photos and one photo of his first haircut. I tracked them down and ordered from my favorite online printing shop (not affiliated, but I do love them a lot).

After the first-year baby book, I have a second scrapbook going for each of the kids where I do one spread per year. I'm mostly finished with R's up to age 4. My goal is to finish age 5 by the time she turns 6, so I have a few months still. J's is finished through age 3, and I just ordered my photo album to start on F's!

Speaking of F, we were able to have a little birthday party for him, and it was so much fun! He is perfectly average for weight and height, though his head is in the 90th percentile LOL. He is not interested at all in walking or standing, but he crawls super fast, pulls up on everything, and loves climbing into his little kid chair and sitting. He gets so proud of himself.

Probably his defining characteristic is how loud he is when he eats. He hums and shrieks and laughs and pounds on his tray demanding more food. It's cute but actually quite loud and sometimes I'm like, okay be quiet now.

Okay, I gave myself a certain amount of time to write, and it's almost up, so I'll do a few currently prompts before I go. Trying to get back in the swing of writing. I miss it and feel rusty.

choosing: tile for our bathroom. Jordan and I made a giant list of all the house projects we want to do and narrowed down our top 3 choices to work on this spring. One of them is to tile our bathroom! Did I tell this story on here? Our bathroom used to be carpet (why, previous homeowners? whyyy), but one morning when J was potty training we found him sitting on the floor surrounded by a pile of poop. He was trying to clean it up himself and was rubbing poop into the carpet with an entire package of wet wipes. Good times! So, Jordan ripped up the carpet and we've had concrete floor for over a year. Finally getting around to picking out tile, and I'm so excited.

imagining: how good I will feel when I actually go to bed at a decent time. It's happening tonight, people!

making: sugar cookies. I've gotten into baking and decorating sugar cookies since Christmas. It's a fun little hobby, and I am not a professional by any means, but I definitely think I'm getting better! Every time I learn something new. I'm going to try to make some bunny-shaped cookies for Easter.

wearing: skinny jeans and comfy tops. Basically I'm old and not on trend. I still can't get behind jeans with jagged bottom hems and high-waisted pants with crop tops. I'm sorry! But I'll never say never, because I said that about skinny jeans so I clearly cannot be trusted.

Ah! My time is up. So long until next time. I do sincerely hope spring forward is treating you better than it's treating me ;) 

Birthday Musings


I think I forgot how to write on here. I've opened my computer to blog the last few nights and ended up staring at a blank screen. Easing into it with a quick update, and then maybe I'll be back for more? Who can say. I'm living hour to hour over here, anyone else?

Today (Thursday when I'm writing this) was the first day we left the house since Saturday morning, which if you're counting that's five, yes FIVE days of all five of us trapped in our house due to an epic snowstorm and record-breaking low temperatures that Oklahoma has seen approximately never. We are so thankful to so far not have had any issues with pipes freezing or bursting, because I know several people that's happened to. 

Our street is a solid block of ice, and I'm not sure if I will be able to get out to take the kids to daycare in the morning, but I guess we shall see. You better believe I will try. Anyone who has ever taken care of a child knows this, but it's impossible IMPOSSIBLE, I SAY, to get any actual work done when kids are around. Moving on.

Baby F is a year old! I can't believe it either. This year went so fast and yet somehow was also the eternal year that never ended. Global pandemic, riots, crazy presidential election, impeachment trials, giant ice storm, multiple snowstorms, and what the heck else happened this year?! 

He won't remember a thing about any of it, but I sure will. I had a baby, went on maternity leave, and then just never went fully back to my office. It was weird. 

I have more thoughts about F turning one, but I'm having a hard time putting them into any kind of coherent structure. Maybe later.

I started seeing a counselor last fall. It's actually been something I've always said would probably be helpful for me. I'm a verbal processor, and Jordan is, well, not. So the idea of having a third party to talk to has always appealed to me. Without going into too much detail, I'll just say that the past year and a half have been incredibly difficult with J. I think the pandemic and being with the kids more by myself brought out some feelings that I wanted to talk through, and specifically as it pertained to J. I've gone several times since (about once every 4-6 weeks), and it's been really helpful. I feel thankful to be able to have the opportunity!

Okay, I'll let that be it for now. I hope if you are reading this you are doing well and staying warm!

Goodbye, 2020



Whatever hard or sad things 2020 might have brought us, I can never be too mad at this year, because we spent most of it with baby F. He was born at the end of February, just a few weeks before everything shut down, and his little life has been such a sweet blessing. I'm absolutely astonished that he will be one year old in less then 2 months.

He's sitting up, crawling, rolling, and wanting so badly to be a big kid and play with his brother and sister. He is so agreeable, silly, and a joy to have around.

It's been a really hard year, to put it simply. But it's also been a year so full of blessings. I realized how many things I took for granted, how much I like my normal life and my normal routine. I'm thankful for our home and our jobs and our family.

I've unofficially made Romans 8:1 my motto for this year. The Risen Motherhood podcast had an episode back in April featuring John Piper talking about Romans 8 (here). He read the full chapter and offered a short sermon on why it's his favorite in the Bible. I saved it and have listened to it several times since, along with memorizing the beginning of the chapter.

"There is therefore, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

Maybe one day I'll sit down and write out all that this verse has come to mean to me this year. The truth is that I've tried my best to be a good mom, a good wife, a good employee, a good sister, daughter, friend, and citizen. I try, and generally speaking I am all those things, but I'm just so thankful that because I know Jesus, I don't have to be all of that on my own. And when I fail, because I do fail every day, there is no condemnation, no shame or guilt. Just grace. Hope. Peace. A new mercy every morning, as it says in Lamentations. I can't tell you how much that's encouraged me this year, especially as a mom.

I hope you have a great start to 2021. I'm holding the year loosely, but I'm hopeful. I don't normally make a long list of resolutions, but I do have a few things I'm looking forward to. Pandemic or not, I had a baby this year and didn't plan on doing much else anyway, but I'm as sad as I feel that F is going to be turning 1 in a few weeks, I will also say that I'm a bit eager to leave the newborn stage behind (for now, at least).

This blog took a major hit this year, obviously, but I'm not ready to call it quits completely. I might pop back on and share some goals for the year and our 2020 in Numbers. Until then, a friendly "hello" to anyone reading. Very happy new year to you!