emotional toddlers and me


I've said several times now that the transition to a third kid hasn't been as hard as going from zero kids to one. And I still do think that. But lately? I'll be honest. Having three kids has been feeling like a lot. 

Remember back in March/April when we were in actual quarantine because everything was shut down? That was hard because we didn't go anywhere. But now I'm back at work in my office, and F started daycare last week, and I have so. much. stuff. to get ready every day. Why does one tiny person = 800% more things?! It takes so long to get everyone in the car to go anywhere, and frankly it's exhausting. This is why people have live-in nannies.

Also, toddlers. I don't want to name any names, but there is a certain child in this house who recently turned 3 years old and is now SO EMOTIONAL. So many emotions. And I'm like, dude, *I* have emotions, and there is only enough room in this house for one person to being having meltdowns. And that person is me.

Probably anyone who has been following my blog for the last few years is shocked to hear that F started daycare last week and I didn't write a melancholy and embarrassingly vulnerable blog post about it. I don't think I posted anything on social media either.  I mean who even am I keeping my feelings to myself? Apparently dead inside.

Kidding. No, the truth is that the week leading up to F's first day at daycare I was a complete wreck. I would just look at F and start crying. It's a terrible feeling having to leave your baby with someone else for an entire day five days in a row. And I don't care if that person is grandma or dad or someone at daycare, it doesn't feel right to be away from your baby. Add my name to the very long list of people who think the US Maternity Leave Laws are an atrocity to mothers everywhere. I cannot be more grateful that my company has allowed me to work from home with my babies for a few months after my maternity leave ended. It's been such a gift and a special time!

Anyway, for some reason, this time I just didn't feel like talking about F going to daycare--except with Jordan, who had to talk about it with me because we are stuck in the house together. So he went, and it was hard, but it wasn't quite as hard as last time with J, and definitely not as hard as when I did it with R. Look at me! Personal growth!

Moving on to things that are way more fun. The last two months have held 4 Bumgarner birthdays: mine, Jordan's, R's, J's. We now have a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old! And Jordan and I both turned 30 for the fourth time. Don't ask questions.

I took the afternoon off work for both of their birthdays, and it was so great. We went to the park and splash pad, picked up lunch, ate cookies, and watched TV, not all in that order. This whole quarantine/pandemic thing has made even the smallest fun really exciting, and I guess one good thing that has come out of all this is truly getting to slow down a bit and not have any commitments and finding joy and fun in super small things I probably took for granted more than I should have.

Of course, I know there are also a ton of sad stories and that this has been (generally speaking) fun for no one, but I'm just saying we are trying our best to be thankful for the many blessings we have.

The big topic for most parents lately has been what to do about school this coming year, and if we are talking about blessings, I have to include our daycare as one of the biggest. We always planned on sending R to kindergarten this year at age 5, but as it became clear that the pandemic wasn't going away any time soon, I told Jordan that I really thought we should consider keeping her back, to start kindergarten in 2021. 

Ultimately we both feel completely confident about our decision to keep her at daycare for another year. I know that probably sounds crazy to some of you, but I am 100% certain this is the perfect choice for R and for our family during this time. Her teacher is amazing and basically does preschool with R's class right now. She has 8 kids total in her class, and they learn all sorts of things and do fun projects, have outside/gym time, centers, breakfast, lunch, and snack. It's such a load off for me to continue to only have 1 location to drop off/pick up all 3 kids, and overall I'm incredibly thankful that R isn't just one year older and would not have the option to stay for another year.

Last but not least for this round of blog updates, F turns six months old this week, and I'm super sad about it. How is he that old?! I still think he's just a tiny baby, but really he's chunky and rolling and alert and I AM NOT OKAY. 

Give me 500 more babies. 
It's the toddlers who will slowly kill me.

Stay safe and well, friends! Thanks for checking in to my sporadic posts. Remember when I used to blog multiple times a week?! El - oh - el.