*When you guys filled out my blog survey last month (see results by clicking here--there are pie charts!), a few of you left comments for post topics you would like to see on this blog. Today's topic of the role that our shared faith plays in Jordan's and my marriage was one of those.
I'm linking this post up with Community Brew with Madison & Rachel!
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I don't know about you, but I really enjoy reading articles and blog posts on the subject of faith. It's so interesting to me to read about what other people believe and how they came to that belief. If the writer/blogger happens to share my opinions on the subject, I find a kindred spirit. And if they believe something opposite of me, I use that as an opportunity to consider an alternate viewpoint and really solidify the reasons behind why I believe what I do.
With that said, marrying someone who was not a believer in Jesus Christ was never an option for me. My faith is such an important part of my life that I could not imagine going through life with someone who didn't feel the same way about faith.
Of course, in a marriage there are obviously going to be things we don't agree on, and that's completely normal. The food we like to eat, the hobbies we enjoy, the books we read. All those things are individual desires that Jordan is not always going to love as much as I do.
I mean, seriously. I've tried as hard as I can to get him to love avocado. It ain't happenin'.
But while Jordan and I definitely don't agree about everything, we do agree about the one thing that counts: the superiority of crunchy peanut butter over creamy.
No I'm kidding, the one thing that counts is faith.
I took this post down a few different roads before deciding you really can't go wrong with the classic list format. Following are four ways that our shared faith manifests itself in our marriage:
1. We have theological discussions
I promise this sounds a lot more legit than it really is.
All I mean is that after church on Sundays or at random points throughout the week, we end up having a discussion about some aspect of faith. We've talked about women's role in the church, our spiritual gifts, evangelism, tithing, homosexuality, God's providence, and many other topics. Because we both have a background of church and weekly study of the Bible either in church or personal devotions, we are able to have interesting conversations and challenge each other by practicing apologetics (a Greek word meaning "defense of the faith").
What's good about sharing the same faith is that while we can have good discussions about these topics, we ultimately agree fundamentally with each other on most things, so the discussions don't end with an argument. Always a good thing in any relationship.
2. We pray together
Back in January I mentioned my goal of 365 days of prayer for 2014. While I have to be honest and tell you that I definitely haven't been consistent in this every single day, I do pray for Jordan (and for my friends and family), and Jordan and I take time and pray together too.
We try to pray every night before bed (even though it doesn't always happen), and when one of us is hurt or feeling stressed, we pray about it together. I love hearing Jordan pray.
3. Jordan prays for me
Parts of last year were extremely difficult for me, specifically working at a job I absolutely hated and then getting fired. Low point.
One night in early February 2013, I had a terrible, terrible night. It still stands out as one of my lowest points in my life so far.
The next morning when I woke up, Jordan had covered the bathroom mirror from top to bottom with sticky notes, and each had a Bible verse on it. It was one of the sweetest things ever, and it meant so much to me. I still have the stack of notes with verses on them.
When I'm feeling sad or overwhelmed, I ask Jordan to pray over me, and he does it right there. I also know he prays for me every day. It's so comforting to know he is doing that.
4. I submit to Jordan's leading of our family
I know there's a lot of controversy over the verse in Ephesians about wives submitting to their husbands [Ephesians 5:22-23 "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church."]. I actually read a blog post just the other day about someone who thinks that view is old fashioned, and she said she couldn't understand why the Bible was so degrading of women.
The Bible is actually very pro woman, and it is clear in the gospels how much Jesus honors women (one example is how women were the very first to see the tomb and the risen Christ), so I think it's ridiculous when people say the Bible is anti-women. But that's another topic for another day.
What this Ephesians verse means to me is that while Jordan and I are yoked together equally as believers in Christ, ultimately I submit to his leadership of our family by trusting that he has been in the Word and communicating with God for guidance.
That doesn't mean we don't get into arguments about what we should do about finances or house hunting and those big life decisions, and it does not mean that we always have to do everything Jordan says. But if we had to make a big decisions and it came down to me vs. him, I would submit to his leading. I don't believe that's old fashioned; I believe that is how God ordained marriage to work as a picture of our human relationship with God. Of course, I'm stubborn and sinful so I don't always do this well, but ideally this is how it would look.
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Hopefully that gives you some insight into how faith appears in our marriage. If you have any topics on faith or marriage that you'd be interested in me writing about, leave a comment or shoot me an email!
-Do you think it's important for couples to have a shared faith?
-In what ways does your faith present itself in your relationship?
