Goodbye, 2020



Whatever hard or sad things 2020 might have brought us, I can never be too mad at this year, because we spent most of it with baby F. He was born at the end of February, just a few weeks before everything shut down, and his little life has been such a sweet blessing. I'm absolutely astonished that he will be one year old in less then 2 months.

He's sitting up, crawling, rolling, and wanting so badly to be a big kid and play with his brother and sister. He is so agreeable, silly, and a joy to have around.

It's been a really hard year, to put it simply. But it's also been a year so full of blessings. I realized how many things I took for granted, how much I like my normal life and my normal routine. I'm thankful for our home and our jobs and our family.

I've unofficially made Romans 8:1 my motto for this year. The Risen Motherhood podcast had an episode back in April featuring John Piper talking about Romans 8 (here). He read the full chapter and offered a short sermon on why it's his favorite in the Bible. I saved it and have listened to it several times since, along with memorizing the beginning of the chapter.

"There is therefore, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

Maybe one day I'll sit down and write out all that this verse has come to mean to me this year. The truth is that I've tried my best to be a good mom, a good wife, a good employee, a good sister, daughter, friend, and citizen. I try, and generally speaking I am all those things, but I'm just so thankful that because I know Jesus, I don't have to be all of that on my own. And when I fail, because I do fail every day, there is no condemnation, no shame or guilt. Just grace. Hope. Peace. A new mercy every morning, as it says in Lamentations. I can't tell you how much that's encouraged me this year, especially as a mom.

I hope you have a great start to 2021. I'm holding the year loosely, but I'm hopeful. I don't normally make a long list of resolutions, but I do have a few things I'm looking forward to. Pandemic or not, I had a baby this year and didn't plan on doing much else anyway, but I'm as sad as I feel that F is going to be turning 1 in a few weeks, I will also say that I'm a bit eager to leave the newborn stage behind (for now, at least).

This blog took a major hit this year, obviously, but I'm not ready to call it quits completely. I might pop back on and share some goals for the year and our 2020 in Numbers. Until then, a friendly "hello" to anyone reading. Very happy new year to you!

Mini Vacation


We are trying to keep our spirits up and embrace the challenges that 2020 have brought us, but around the end of September both Jordan and I started to feel the weight of this year on our marriage. Nothing drastic, but we just really needed some time away from the kids and time to get out of our house and find space to breathe.

I mentioned to a friend of mine that once F turned one, I really wanted to take a weekend away with Jordan, and she said, "Why do you need to wait until he's one? Do it now!" She mentioned something that she and her husband do on occasion, which is that they surprise each other with a trip. 

She told me how she planned a weekend away with her husband and didn't tell him anything about it until it was a week or so away. Her baby had not turned one yet, but she brought her pump and said it was a minor inconvenience but really not a big deal. It was just the encouragement I needed, and I started planning a mini vacation to surprise Jordan with.

My parents watched all three kids, and we spent Friday night through Monday morning in Dallas, Texas. I booked our hotel, got aquarium tickets, made a list of restaurants to go to, and I even contacted his boss and secretly took off work for him. I told him the Friday before our trip, and he was super confused at first and didn't understand what I was talking about. But as the weekend got closer we were more and more excited. 

We had a great time and enjoyed exploring some fun spots around the Dallas area. It felt like the perfect getaway where we felt very comfortable being able to socially distance and not super far away from the kids if they needed anything. 

I brought my Spectra pump for use at the hotel, and I did wake up in the night to pump just like I feed F, and a friend let me borrow a portable pump to use during the day we were away from the hotel all day. I brought ice packs, and the milk actually stayed cold and I was able to save everything during the weekend. I had no idea when I booked it, but our hotel room ended up having a full fridge/freezer!

On Saturday we went to the Dallas farmer's market, lunch at a BBQ place called Pecan Lodge, then the Dallas aquarium, and we met my brother and sister-in-law for dinner. On Sunday we ate lunch at a place called The Londoner, which is set up to look like a British pub. They server British food, and they even had one of Jordan's favorite English beers on tap. Then we went to a town called Grapevine and walked up their main street with cute shops and the farmer's market. We ate at a local seafood restaurant for dinner and then played card games and watched The Hobbit on TV. It was super relaxing and FUN. I'm grateful it worked out, and I loved surprising Jordan with a trip and getting a few extra days off work.

My point of sharing this is mostly that you don't have to go far or go big on a little vacation. Even somewhere just a few hours away can be new and fun and low key. It was just the reset we needed in this crazy, stressful year. Now, who is amazed that it's already November?

Fall Family Outing



Hello, it's October! F turned 7 months old a few weeks ago, and no, I'm not okay, thank you for asking. He's still working on sitting up, and he really wants to crawl, but so far just gets up on his knees and rocks back and forth a few times before falling back down. He currently has RSV, which I would feel more stressed about, perhaps, but at this point I'm just glad it's not The Virus.

For a couple of days in September, Oklahoma decided to act like fall, but now we are back to 90 degrees, and Panera still isn't carrying my favorite seasonal treat: cranberry orange muffins. As if I needed another reason to be mad at 2020. I need my muffins, people!

Despite the heat and the lack of leaves turning brown (aka colorful death), last weekend (pre-F having any cold-like symptoms, please note) I leapt into the fall spirit with open arms. I decorated my mantle and bookshelves, and we loaded up the minivan and headed to a local farm. 

I've been wanting to check this place out for several years but never made a point to go, and I'm so glad we did! The weather was perfect, and it wasn't super crowded, so there was ample space to enjoy the activities while not getting super close to anyone. We rode a train, got some pumpkins (each kid got a tiny pumpkin for free!), pet some animals, and greatly enjoyed one of the few outings we've taken as a family of five.
The kids did awesome and seemed to have a lot of fun. They are both going to daycare, but other than that we don't get out much, so I'm really thankful we were able to at least do one fall activity this year in case we don't end up doing anything else.

I hope you are having a nice start to fall, wherever you are. Stay safe and well!

Oh, and PS. If you read my last post, MY NOSE STILL HURTS. That's all. Good day.

on midnight encounters and cheesy television



Hello from your occasional blogger friend. 
CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? Never mind don't answer that. I'm fine talking to myself.

I saw on Facebook someone shared a meme that said 2020 is 70% over. Can I get an amen? This year. I mean what. a. dumpster fire. J and F share my feelings (see above).

If you follow me on Instagram then you might have seen my amazingly skilled stick figure diagram of the midnight collision Jordan and I had two nights ago. And that's not a euphemism for marital times. J came into our room around 3am, and long story short both Jordan and I got out of bed and ended up knocking heads in the dark. I heard a snap and thought for sure I'd broken my nose. It hurt SO bad. I had a headache all the next day, and now it's been two days and my nose is still aching constantly. I can't smell anything, and I don't know if I've got The Virus or if it's just my bruised cartilage blocking my nasal passage.

2020 has got me not leaving my house, and now I'm thinking I probably shouldn't even leave my bed.

F is 7 months today. HOW. How. How. Did I mention how? They say the days are long and the years are short, but lately the days have been short too. I'm super busy at work, and my days are flying by. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but I'm also completely shocked when I see F rolling all over the floor and rocking up on his knees like he wants to get going somewhere. He was born yesterday and you can't tell me otherwise.

In other very important news, the show Sister, Sister was recently added to Netflix (don't nobody @ me about how I should be canceling Netflix, pleaseandthankyou). I've been rewatching Season 1, and it's bringing me baaaack. I used to love that show, and I'm actually really enjoying watching it now. 

Another surprise? Fuller House. I think the stress of 2020 has got me fondly yearning for my innocent youth. I watched the first season or two when it first came out, and I thought it was okay but super cheesy and kind of dumb. However, I recently started up again and I'm loving it. It's still super cheesy and ridiculous (and why do they think it's believable that Candace Cameron would always be wearing heels and skirts even on a Saturday morning????), but it's fun and sweet and I'm here for it.

I thought I had other things to update, but since I don't go anywhere or see anyone, I'm out of ideas. So, I'll do a quick "currently" rundown for anyone interested (i.e., my mom).

appreciating: flexibility of being able to work at home a few days a week. This is probably the best thing to come out of the pandemic for me. I do go into the office a few days a week, but I'm also at home several days, and it's so nice to not have to pack up my pumping stuff or get dressed and go all the way downtown. The kids still go to daycare (even F), but I just feel a lot less stress with working this time around, and I'm grateful.

anticipating: random, but taking R to a corn maze. Will there be corn mazes still this year? I feel like that's a pretty socially distant activity, so I hope so! For some reason R's been talking about corn mazes, and I actually do think she'd like to walk through one, so maybe we can find a few outdoor family activities this fall. It's been crazy hot all summer, and I'm ready for some cooler temperatures!

collecting: toys and random other small items constantly all over my house. We've got to get a handle on this before F starts crawling. Oye.

starting: to reread the Risen Motherhood book for an online book club I joined. I read it last year when it released, and I've been wanting to go through it again, so this is good timing! Speaking of time, I just need to find some of that to actually read the book.

finishing: my summer New Testament Bible reading list. The women's ministry at my church did a summer reading plan where you read the Bible every day June, July, and August, and by the end you read the entire New Testament. I did great in June and finished all the days. July and August both have about 75% done, but there are some lingering blank spaces and I'm plugging away at them until I finish the reading plan. Better late than never!

I guess that's a wrap for now! I'd like to say I'll "see" you back here sooner than a month from now, but clearly my track record this year isn't so great. Thanks, as always, for checking in and following along with the blog! 

Let's hope the last 30% of the year turns around for all of us somehow. Until then, be careful where you walk in the middle of the night ;) 

emotional toddlers and me


I've said several times now that the transition to a third kid hasn't been as hard as going from zero kids to one. And I still do think that. But lately? I'll be honest. Having three kids has been feeling like a lot. 

Remember back in March/April when we were in actual quarantine because everything was shut down? That was hard because we didn't go anywhere. But now I'm back at work in my office, and F started daycare last week, and I have so. much. stuff. to get ready every day. Why does one tiny person = 800% more things?! It takes so long to get everyone in the car to go anywhere, and frankly it's exhausting. This is why people have live-in nannies.

Also, toddlers. I don't want to name any names, but there is a certain child in this house who recently turned 3 years old and is now SO EMOTIONAL. So many emotions. And I'm like, dude, *I* have emotions, and there is only enough room in this house for one person to being having meltdowns. And that person is me.

Probably anyone who has been following my blog for the last few years is shocked to hear that F started daycare last week and I didn't write a melancholy and embarrassingly vulnerable blog post about it. I don't think I posted anything on social media either.  I mean who even am I keeping my feelings to myself? Apparently dead inside.

Kidding. No, the truth is that the week leading up to F's first day at daycare I was a complete wreck. I would just look at F and start crying. It's a terrible feeling having to leave your baby with someone else for an entire day five days in a row. And I don't care if that person is grandma or dad or someone at daycare, it doesn't feel right to be away from your baby. Add my name to the very long list of people who think the US Maternity Leave Laws are an atrocity to mothers everywhere. I cannot be more grateful that my company has allowed me to work from home with my babies for a few months after my maternity leave ended. It's been such a gift and a special time!

Anyway, for some reason, this time I just didn't feel like talking about F going to daycare--except with Jordan, who had to talk about it with me because we are stuck in the house together. So he went, and it was hard, but it wasn't quite as hard as last time with J, and definitely not as hard as when I did it with R. Look at me! Personal growth!

Moving on to things that are way more fun. The last two months have held 4 Bumgarner birthdays: mine, Jordan's, R's, J's. We now have a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old! And Jordan and I both turned 30 for the fourth time. Don't ask questions.

I took the afternoon off work for both of their birthdays, and it was so great. We went to the park and splash pad, picked up lunch, ate cookies, and watched TV, not all in that order. This whole quarantine/pandemic thing has made even the smallest fun really exciting, and I guess one good thing that has come out of all this is truly getting to slow down a bit and not have any commitments and finding joy and fun in super small things I probably took for granted more than I should have.

Of course, I know there are also a ton of sad stories and that this has been (generally speaking) fun for no one, but I'm just saying we are trying our best to be thankful for the many blessings we have.

The big topic for most parents lately has been what to do about school this coming year, and if we are talking about blessings, I have to include our daycare as one of the biggest. We always planned on sending R to kindergarten this year at age 5, but as it became clear that the pandemic wasn't going away any time soon, I told Jordan that I really thought we should consider keeping her back, to start kindergarten in 2021. 

Ultimately we both feel completely confident about our decision to keep her at daycare for another year. I know that probably sounds crazy to some of you, but I am 100% certain this is the perfect choice for R and for our family during this time. Her teacher is amazing and basically does preschool with R's class right now. She has 8 kids total in her class, and they learn all sorts of things and do fun projects, have outside/gym time, centers, breakfast, lunch, and snack. It's such a load off for me to continue to only have 1 location to drop off/pick up all 3 kids, and overall I'm incredibly thankful that R isn't just one year older and would not have the option to stay for another year.

Last but not least for this round of blog updates, F turns six months old this week, and I'm super sad about it. How is he that old?! I still think he's just a tiny baby, but really he's chunky and rolling and alert and I AM NOT OKAY. 

Give me 500 more babies. 
It's the toddlers who will slowly kill me.

Stay safe and well, friends! Thanks for checking in to my sporadic posts. Remember when I used to blog multiple times a week?! El - oh - el. 

Baby Stuff You Need


I really don't feel like talking about The Virus, and I have several friends who are pregnant right now, so let's talk about cute babies and some things you need for babies. Truthfully, you actually don't need a ton of stuff. But you do need some essentials and basics.

Probably none of these things are new, but several are new to me and so useful with F! Others are oldies that I've used and loved now with all three kiddos.

>> As always, I am using affiliate links where applicable because believe it or not these posts do take some time to put together, so yes, I'm that person right now. Clicking costs you nothing and gets me like ten cents ;) I'm thisclose to quitting my day job, wouldn't you know it.

Okay, in no particular order...

Haakaa Silicone Breast Pump - Definitely one of the greatest inventions for nursing/pumping moms everywhere. I have over 550 ounces of milk in our freezer, and most of it came from using this during the day. It also came in super handy when I had a work conference over zoom that took up the entire day. I may or may not have used it while running a virtual editorial meeting.

Breastfeeding Bar - I don't know if these have actually increase my milk supply, but they are yummy! I like the blueberry coconut flavor (and I don't even like coconut usually). A friend sent me some, and when I ran out I bought 2 more boxes for myself.

Baby Bum Brush - A friend gifted this to us when J was born, and it's been so handy. Diaper rash cream is so annoying to try and wash off your fingers, and this makes applying cream so easy. I love that there is also a travel size that I can carry in the diaper bag.

Oball Rattle - We've used this ball for all 3 kids now, and it's one of F's current favorites. I don't know why, but they have all loved it.

Infant Activity Toy - A friend gifted this to F, and it is his absolute favorite toy. He gets so crazy excited and loves chewing on it and holding it.

Sensory Crinkle Toy with Squeaker - I clipped this to F's carseat strap, and he loves playing with it. I think he likes that it makes that crinkly sound, and I like that it squeaks when you press the middle!

Compact Infant Bath - My friend was getting rid of some baby stuff and gave me this for F. It's been amazing! I'm so sad I didn't use something like this with the other kids. He's 5 months and will outgrow soon, and I'm sad because I've used this for the majority of his baths. It's foldable, dries quickly, and has been perfect for baths in the sink!

Baby Bath Seat - When he's taken a bath in the actual bathtub, we use this seat, which we got for R and have used for all 3 kids. Super basic, but it's been great, and I'd say we've gotten our money's worth considering it's really cheap to begin with.

Copper Pearl Burp Cloths - I've shared about my love for Copper Pearl fabric bibs on the blog before, but I'd never tried their burp cloths until we got some from a friend for F. LOVE. They are large and thick and my favorite burp cloths to use.

Copper Pearl Blanket - That same friend also bought us this blanket, and oh. my. word. It's stretchy and thick and super soft. This would make a fantastic baby shower gift or a splurge gift for yourself. Seriously this is my favorite blanket!

Cradle Cap System - Buy this! For your own baby, for a friend's baby. Everyone needs one. All of our kids have had cradle cap issues (are there babies that don't? Maybe this is not a thing everyone deals with), and I distinctly remember going to church with R and a friend telling us she had cradle cap, and Jordan and I being like, "what's cradle cap?" We thought her head was just scabbing from using the vacuum to get her out, but actually she had really bad cradle cap! J had it too, and finally with F I actually looked up what I could get to help and bought this scrub brush. It totally works and I'm going to recommend it to everyone forever. Don't be like us.

Love to Dream Swaddle - The. best. swaddle. Basically a sleep sack really. All babies are different, but F LOVES this. He's slept in it every night since he was a tiny baby. I randomly bought two of these off a buy/sell/trade page months before he was born, never thinking it would be so great for our little guy. I wish I had used this for the other two! He was in a size small for a while, is currently in a medium, and I'm about to buy the size large so he can transition to having his arms out. Get this!

Baby Memory Book - I've used a different baby book method with each kid, and this is the one I bought to use with F. It's definitely my favorite. Super simple, classic designs and not a lot of frill. They have a girl, boy, and a gender neutral. The online description says it's "LGBTQ friendly," which just means that it doesn't specifically refer to mom or dad anywhere. Only mentioning that because I sent this link to a friend and she texted back and was like, um, what does that mean? So that's what it means.

Baby Rocker - Everyone is going to have a different opinion about baby seats, loungers, rockers, etc. We've used this same rocker for all three kids, and honestly, it's not the cutest design ever, but it's been fantastic. It's easy to carry around the house, and it can rock back and forth or stay still depending on if you have the back legs down. The toy rack comes off (actually we haven't found it for F yet; it's somewhere in the attic). Personally, we have never used a big swing thing or activity seat. I feel like we wouldn't have used them enough to justify the cost or the space. A rocker like this can be used for a long time (R and J like to sit in it and pretend to be babies lol!), and it can be easily moved around.

We do have a MamaRoo, but only because I got one for free for a sponsored blog post several years ago. It is a really neat seat, but for the price I think there are other seats that serve essentially the same function for much cheaper.

Boppy Pillow - I would guess in the last 5 years since I had R they've come out with a new version of the original boppy pillow, but I've used mine for three babies and find it super useful. As F gets older, I don't use it every single time I nurse, but it is really helpful at the beginning, and I just personally like using it.

Sound Machine - We are DUMB. This is baby #3 and the first time we've used a sound machine. Wut. Yes, dumb. And actually, we've never even used this for F yet... it's in the room where R and J sleep. But anyway, this is the sound machine we registered for and got from a friend, and I recommend it. Pro tip: get your kids used to the "rain" setting, and then when it actually rains outside they aren't phased and wake up in the night because it just sounds like their sound machine.

Sound Monitor - You can get a fancy video monitor with extra cameras and all that jazz. But, if you just want a simple sound monitor, no frills or fancy gadgets, this is what we've been using since 2015. We've never used a video monitor, if you can believe it!

I'm sure there are lots of other things I could link to, but those are what came to mind. Babies are fun! Baby stuff, however, can be overwhelming (okay, babies can be overwhelming, who am I kidding); but like I mentioned above, you really don't need a ton of stuff. Hopefully this list is useful to get you started, and if there's something I missed that you love, feel free to leave a comment!

Wherein I Detail Our Exciting Lives


*this post contains affiliate links. I get like 5 cents if you click, which adds up to one and a half chai tea lattes after approximately two years because I never blog anymore. 

**blogger updated their interface, and I'm old and don't like new things, so if the post formatting is funky it's because I don't know what I'm doing.

In my 10 years of blogging (yes, 10!), I have never skipped an entire month of posting. But, here we are. I can't quit the blog, but I also can't write on the blog either, apparently. I blame F for not going to sleep until 10:00 every night. It's currently 9:32, and I can hear him grunting over the monitor.

I know some people can blog from their phone with one hand while holding a baby in the other, but I'm not one of them. My iPhone FIVE from 2015 can't handle the sophistication of the mobile blogger template. I have five apps, 600 photos, and am 110% out of storage. The other day I had to delete one of my apps so I could reinstall Venmo to transfer some money. These are the days I'll look back on and say to myself, "Self, just get a new phone already."

Has anyone else had enough of 2020 already? GOOD TIMES. Just, wow. So many thoughts about all the things.

I bought the kids a few new books to diversify our library and include more images of children of color. If you're on Instagram and interested, I saved an entire highlight with some awesome suggestions. I started with this book and this book, and I recommend both! We also already had and love this book and this book, which feature a Black girl as the main character.

On a related note, I recently discovered a podcast called First-Name Basis, which has some really interesting episodes on race. I enjoyed this episode, talking about how to know whether to say "Black" or "African American." This is something I've wondered before!

For the past several months, our class at church has been going through a series on apologetics, and we've talked specifically about creation recently. Last week our teacher shared two videos with us, which go into detail about how we all came from Adam and Eve, why people have different skin colors, and what the term "race" really means. They are super interesting! The videos are on YouTube here and here.

In other news, F was dedicated at church over Father's Day weekend! I know things are opening back up at different rates depending on where you live. Our church has been meeting in person for a little bit now (rows taped off for social distancing, no passing an offering plate, etc), but we haven't felt comfortable going, so we are watching via a streaming service online. However, they had their normal baby dedication Father's Day weekend, so we got dressed up and went to church in person for the first time since the middle of February. R was SO excited, and it did feel great to be back in the worship center again. Watching church online is not the same. 

That same week, J turned 3, and it's like he grew into an independent boy overnight. He wants to do everything himself, is totally potty trained (still wears pull-ups at night), and talks up.a.storm. He's very into cars and trains and loves to sit and line them up over and over again.

We continue to get one Home Chef delivery box a month, and I've said it before, but if you are interested in trying out a meal subscription service, I highly recommend Home Chef over Hello Fresh. Here's my referral link if you want to try it for yourself. I'm only saying that again because  I see so many Hello Fresh ads, and none for Home Chef, but Home Chef is so much better. I'm just trying to do my part to get the word out ;) 

F is doing really well, and overall I still find transitioning from 2 kids to 3 not insanely difficult. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a mad house over here, but I'm not sobbing in a closet stress-eating chocolate like I was led to think I might be. Thank goodness! I think dealing with the Rona is overshadowing most everything else that might otherwise be stressful. I'm beyond thankful that I had F right before all of this really got going in the United States.

My office is open, but I'm still working at home for a bit. I go into the office a few times a week to check in, and I made sure to take an office bathroom selfie since I've done that with each of my kids! The lighting in there make him look like a bald alien baby lol.

We think he might have a slight dairy intolerance... he gets bad eczema flare-ups, and when I stopped drinking milk for a few days it got much better. Then I had milk with my cereal one morning and it got bad again. I'm still eating cheese and eggs and ice cream (you'll have to pry that from my cold, dead hands), but just cutting out milk seems to help. I had this issue with R, and I drank almond milk but didn't love it. I recently bought Oatly milk when I was at Sprouts, and it's kinda weird but I like it better than almond milk, so that's what I'll eat my Special K with for now.

Every time I blog, I think I can't get any more boring, and then I surprise myself by writing an entire paragraph about milk.

So anyway, we got out and went to the zoo last weekend. You have to make a reservation in advance so they can make sure there aren't too many people going in at once. These are such strange times. And it's almost July! Weirdest year to have a new baby ever.

Back to the zoo. The kids loved being somewhere other than our house, and Jordan rocked 3-kid dad life.

There's a lot going on in our home and in the world right now. We are all doing the best we can. Sometimes things seem okay, and sometimes I'm crying for no apparent reason at all. But we are thankful for birthdays and fresh air, for family and our faith, which gives us the greatest peace even in uncertain times. I hope you all are doing well! If you check out any of the links I posted above, let me know! I'd love to hear what you think.

I'll leave you with a picture of the cake I made J for his birthday. Funfetti box mix with a star cut out of the top layer and filled in with sprinkles. Currently submitting my resume for pastry chef jobs ;)

currently: may 2020


making: I made a batch of lactation cookies last night, which is really just my excuse to eat five cookies a day while tricking myself into thinking they are "healthy" and "good for me" because they have Brewer's Yeast, some ground flaxseed, and coconut oil. But also sugar and chocolate chips soooooo yeah. Just let me live in denial. thankyoubye.

missing: kind of everything, but mostly I miss casually hanging out with friends and family.
*we went strawberry picking at a local farm at the beginning of May! it's one of my favorite spring things to do. This was our third year to go!

learning: all about gardening! I know in my last post I scoffed at people who have time and brain space to pick up new hobbies right now, but after a year of talking about it, we finally put in a raised bed in our backyard a few weeks ago, and we have plants! This is huge for me. I've killed every green thing I've ever had, including two succulents, which I'm pretty sure can survive boiling under the desert sun. Looking back on it now, I'm pretty sure I watered them too much. Anyway. We planted green beans, zucchini, and okra, and even though plants have been growing out of the earth since the beginning of time, Jordan and I can't even handle how cool it is to watch. PHOTOSYNTHESIS. aka magic.

*we stopped at a wildflower field to take a few pictures. I want to take R here and take some 5yo pics of her, so hopefully we can sneak away soon and do that.

loving: besides our garden? I'm 100% loving having a baby around. Granted, would I choose to have a newborn during a global pandemic and quarantine? No. But this guy is bringing me so much joy and so many snuggles, and I don't hate it. I was really nervous about the transition from 2 to 3, since I've heard it can be rough, but honestly I still think going from 0 to 1 has been the hardest for us.
*we went to a local nature park one Saturday morning for a hike! It was so so nice to get out in nature for a bit. The kids had a great time.

watching: I wish I could talk about what I've been reading, buuuuut, I haven't been reading anything. So I'll talk about shows! Jordan and I are watching the ESPN documentary series about the 90's Chicago Bulls team called "The Last Dance." It's so good and like a blast from the past to watch. I remember watching those games! So fun.

I also just re-watched Back to the Future 1, 2, and 3 on Netflix. It's hilarious to see what they thought the year 2015 would be like. Hover boards and flying cars and jackets that automatically adjust to your size. Oh, and apparently in the future, everyone wears their pants inside out. LOL. I'm rewatching "The Office" as I listen to The Office Ladies podcast. Don't judge me. F goes to sleep super late despite my best attempts, and I end up just sitting in the recliner nursing and watching TV every night. Scrambling my already scrambled brains ;) 

what have you been up to currently? I hope you are doing well! Thanks as always for reading!
*we love making pizza! Flat breads from Aldi, Italian chicken sausage, turkey pepperoni, mozzarella cheese, and pasta sauce. The kids get their own bread and bowls to make their own, and they love doing that!

i didn't mean to talk so much about clothes


My last blog post was April 16, and guess what happened on April 17? I'll tell you because you'll never guess. My maternity leave ended and I'm back at work full time! Of course by back at work, I mean working at home by myself with three kids. Yay! IT'S SO FUN AND NOT AT ALL STRESSFUL.

See also: I'm actually feeling really stressed out.
I might be dying.

If one more person posts on social media about their quilt sewing or their bread making or their painting projects or asks what everyone's "quarantine goals" are, I'm going to freak out. I literally have one goal every day and that is to survive with everyone fed and alive and my sink only partially full with dishes.

I'm doing okay and not doing okay. Weirdly both are happening at the same time. I'm deeply grateful for this extra time with my kids and also wish I could lock myself in a closet as soon as I wake up. R started this thing where she pokes you on the nose while hugging you so hard you're choking, and it makes me feel like I might be actually going insane. I want everyone to stop touching me forever.

F is eleven weeks okay, and I'm sorry to say, it feels like eleven weeks. I don't remember him not being here. He's a dream baby and the actual sweetest thing. He cries only when he really needs something, wakes up just a few times at night, eats well, and gives the best tiny baby smiles. He's the only one allowed in the closet with me.

I make a scrapbook of the first 12 weeks for each kid, and poor F will have nothing in it. We've done nothing. Gone nowhere but the park to throw rocks in the pond. Seen next to no one except grandma. But I will say, I've had a ton of fun dressing him even if no one sees him but me. I didn't discover small shops and buy/sell/trade groups until a few years ago, and F is getting the full wardrobe exploration of my second-hand shopping addiction.

Speaking of clothes, recently I moved all of R's clothes where she can reach everything herself. Her shirts are in a dresser drawer, her pants are in a bin under her bed, and her dresses are on a lower rack in the closet. I haven't been saying a single thing about what she wears except "go get dressed," and I love seeing what she comes out wearing. She really has great taste and puts together such cute outfits! The only problem is that now she changes 85 times a day.

J is oddly picky about clothes, and although he's not fully able to get dressed all by himself, he does pick out his shirt, pants, and underwear and gets feisty when I choose for him.

I didn't start this post thinking I'd write so much about my children's clothes, but this is where we're at. I'm judging myself that I haven't blogged in 3 weeks and this is all I have to talk about. But think about THIS: F was born February 18. The few weeks before that we didn't go anywhere because I was super pregnant and uncomfortable and didn't want to do anything but sit on my couch. Then F came and we didn't go anywhere because I was recovering from having a baby + it was cold/flu season and we didn't want to get out too much with a newborn. THEN, just as I was feeling like, hey, I want to see people! everything shut down and no one was allowed to go anywhere. I've basically been quarantined over a month longer than the general population. I love my house but also hate my house right now.

I guess I'll go now... I'm rambling and saying pretty much nothing. But I wanted to check in. I'm alive! We are healthy and thankful to have jobs and a home. My kids have cute clothes, and I never take off my pajamas. I started running again! Unrelated but exciting,

We might not be thriving, but we are doing our best. I'm clinging to God's grace each day.

Just don't ask me if I have any goals. Because I absolutely totally do not.