Noise
there's so much noise
Multiple people scream-talking
at once.
A chorus of mommy mommy mommy
A meltdown
if I don't answer fast enough.
I can only do one thing at a time! I shout.
They don't understand.
Or,
they do
but they don't care.
_ _ _
His tiny hands pull the banana off the counter.
Nana! Nana!
I reach to help
but the tiny hands pull it away.
I wanna do it.
I watch as he twists and squeezes,
the fruit growing soft inside the peel.
I need to help you, buddy.
You can't open a banana without help.
I WANNA DO IT.
A meltdown
because he can't open it,
and he can't let me help him.
He doesn't understand.
Or,
he does
but he doesn't care.
_ _ _
The tiniest whisper
You're going to miss this.
It's what they always say
Enjoy it while it lasts.
The years are short.
You're going to miss it.
But there's so much noise, I reply.
Everything takes so much longer.
It's so much messier.
It's so much harder.
You're going to miss this.
But you just don't remember, I argue.
You forgot.
You blocked it out.
You don't understand.
_ _ _
A bucket of Legos upside down
Paper dolls line the kitchen table
Sticky watermelon juice trails along the counter
Dishes piled high in the sink
Three baskets of laundry
I told myself I'd fold two days ago
He runs up to me
buries his head in my chest
He looks up
eyes bright
face shining
blond curls bounce in messy ringlets
Plants a wet kiss on my cheek
Hi, mama.
I pause
stare at him for just an extra heartbeat
We smile at each other
His nose crinkles
His eyes squint
And then the heartbeat is over
he starts to run off
I pull him back for another wet kiss
Pause for another heartbeat
I already miss it.
