Runner Problems: My Calves Are Too Big For My Skinny Jeans


[please go here to read the rest of this hilarious comic on long-distance running]

The inspiration for blog post topics arrives in many forms. A few weeks ago inspiration came while shopping and culminated in my GIF post regarding how I feel about Target. That was pretty funny, if I do say so myself. Which I am. Saying. It was funny.

Most recently, blog post inspiration hit a second time while shopping for a pair of colored jeans. Remember my awesome green jeans? Yeah, those. It was while trying on a mound of skinny jeans in an attempt to find my size that a runner problem revealed its unruly face. 

Side note: Am I the only one who never knows their size? Sometimes I'm a 2, sometimes a 4, sometimes a 6. Heck, I've even been a 9. Stores should all have the same sizing! I'm like, "Okay, I'm a size 4. Good to know. No WAIT WHAT? Size 16?!" Darn you, Ann Taylor Loft!

But back to the runner problem.

I'm as big a fan of sexy legs as the next person, but oh my gosh does running make shopping for skinny jeans harder than it needs to be. Hence volume 1 of runner problems:

My calves are too big for my skinny jeans

This is a serious, albeit ridiculous, problem. Trying on skinny jeans when you have calves the size of an elephant's behind is not easy. People in the fitting room next to me probably thought I was pooping from the noises I was making. Or, constipated, maybe. Though I don't know if that's better. (Actually, neither is better. I'm probably going to hear about this later from my dad. "Amanda, it's not ladylike to talk about pooping in your blog posts.")

In any case, the answer was, of course, neither. Don't worry. Just trying to squeeze my mammoth calves inside these pant legs. Seriously. Runner problem. If you don't believe me, just Google the phrase "huge running calves."

It's not just me. 

My calves just don't fit! Everything else is fine. Waist is fine. Hips are fine. Thighs are fine. Even ankles are fine. But I hit the calf area, and I feel like the Incredible Hulk. They should add slits or zippers or something*.

Once I finally found a pair I liked, I asked Jordan to take outfit pictures of me (which he doing hates above all else). The first thing he said was, "Woah! Your calves look huge in those jeans!" I'm not making that up just to blog about it. He really said that.

Girl code #572: Don't tell a girl she has huge anything. 

Not cool, man. Not cool.
He might be trying to get himself fired from official style photographer duty. 
It's working.

But he's right. Stupid running. 

No that's a lie. I love you, running. Even if you do give me huge calves.

*There's a 5.2% chance I am being slightly dramatic.


  1. I haven't had that issue with skinny jeans yet, but finding boots that fit my calves was awfully difficult.

  2. I LOVE that Oatmeal cartoon! I also love the grammar nazi ones :D

  3. Happens to me with boots all. the. time. I hate it!! Once in high school my dad announced to the gym after a game that i had the biggest legs on the team. he was proud. I was mortified! Ha!


  4. I had big calves even before I started running. It's pretty ridiculous! I have the hardest time ever finding boots to fit, and when it comes to skinny jeans? I've walked into certain stores, and I honestly think I can hear the jeans LAUGH at me when I try to put them on. *sigh*

    It's so bad.. that whenever I say anything about my calves, my boyfriend says, "Oh, you mean your moo calves?" It's a good think I love him... :P

  5. Story of my life... My calves ruin skinny jeans AND being able to wear heels for me!

  6. I feel you pain. However, I am all quads. To get pants to fit over my hulk sized legs I have to get the waist so big it falls off.... yuck. They need specially designed runner girl jeans.

  7. I love the Oatmeal cartoons. But I'm not a huge fan of skinny jeans--unless I wear them with boots because otherwise, like you've said, my calves just look big.

  8. I literally laughed out loud when i saw this in my Bloglovin' feed. This is so true. And my students tell me my calves are huge all the time (which is really awesome, by the way). It's a good day when they're less than 14.5" in diameter. For reals.

    At least my husband likes them?


  9. YES. I have a couple pair of skinny jeans but they had to be stretchy kind, like really stretchy, to work.

    I like to think that my large calves just make my ankles look smaller, so that no one can tell me I have cankles.

    I try to be positive even when my calves burst seams.

    1. That's hilarious! I have large calves and ankles (cankles) also and know the agony of finding that perfect pair of skinny jeans. I have a pair of skinny leg khakis from Land's End that fit really well.

  10. I have the same problem with boots!! I skipped the skinny jean fad hoping it will die a horrible death thanks to by JLo butt not needing to be in skinny jeans! Thank you very much!

  11. I have huge calves too, but it sure as hell ain't from running! Its a miracle to find tights, boots, or cute leggings that fit over these massive monsters! I feel your pain! I've never tried skinny jeans because me + skinny don't belong in the same sentence, ha!

  12. You know...I'd rather be an amazing runner than be able to fit my calves in skinny jeans. Heck, I'd give that up for just being able to run a mere mile without hyperventilating!

  13. Haha that comic is hilarious!! I have the same problem--my pants size is different every store I go to. It's so annoying! But I'd give up the skinny jeans if I could be a runner :) Kudos to you girl!

  14. Ryan Gosling likes it...

  15. I have giant calves too. It's such an issue. Riding boots are awful too!

  16. Hahaha thank god I haven't had this problem with every pair of jeans but it's happened more than I like to admit!!!

  17. You're not kidding. I can NOT find boots to save my life!!

  18. haha I'd never ready this one...seriously this is a real problem and like Kristin said, BOOTS! Where on earth do you buy boots for runner calves? I actually bought a pair this past season from a plus size store... I'm like a 4-8 size wise, I don't shop at plus size was ridiculous!

  19. I am 100% in this boat with you. If I can make them over my calves then they seem to get stuck and getting them over my thighs is damn near impossible. Between running and biking, finding pants that fit and ARE COMFORTABLE is quite challenging.

  20. I found your blog while Googling "Skinny jeans for big calves." My hubs and I both have ginormous calves. We call ourselves the Calves---as opposed to the Calve-Nots. Look around at a gym at all the guys who are muscular up top but trying to correct their bird legs and rejoice!

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