i didn't mean to talk so much about clothes


My last blog post was April 16, and guess what happened on April 17? I'll tell you because you'll never guess. My maternity leave ended and I'm back at work full time! Of course by back at work, I mean working at home by myself with three kids. Yay! IT'S SO FUN AND NOT AT ALL STRESSFUL.

See also: I'm actually feeling really stressed out.
I might be dying.

If one more person posts on social media about their quilt sewing or their bread making or their painting projects or asks what everyone's "quarantine goals" are, I'm going to freak out. I literally have one goal every day and that is to survive with everyone fed and alive and my sink only partially full with dishes.

I'm doing okay and not doing okay. Weirdly both are happening at the same time. I'm deeply grateful for this extra time with my kids and also wish I could lock myself in a closet as soon as I wake up. R started this thing where she pokes you on the nose while hugging you so hard you're choking, and it makes me feel like I might be actually going insane. I want everyone to stop touching me forever.

F is eleven weeks okay, and I'm sorry to say, it feels like eleven weeks. I don't remember him not being here. He's a dream baby and the actual sweetest thing. He cries only when he really needs something, wakes up just a few times at night, eats well, and gives the best tiny baby smiles. He's the only one allowed in the closet with me.

I make a scrapbook of the first 12 weeks for each kid, and poor F will have nothing in it. We've done nothing. Gone nowhere but the park to throw rocks in the pond. Seen next to no one except grandma. But I will say, I've had a ton of fun dressing him even if no one sees him but me. I didn't discover small shops and buy/sell/trade groups until a few years ago, and F is getting the full wardrobe exploration of my second-hand shopping addiction.

Speaking of clothes, recently I moved all of R's clothes where she can reach everything herself. Her shirts are in a dresser drawer, her pants are in a bin under her bed, and her dresses are on a lower rack in the closet. I haven't been saying a single thing about what she wears except "go get dressed," and I love seeing what she comes out wearing. She really has great taste and puts together such cute outfits! The only problem is that now she changes 85 times a day.

J is oddly picky about clothes, and although he's not fully able to get dressed all by himself, he does pick out his shirt, pants, and underwear and gets feisty when I choose for him.

I didn't start this post thinking I'd write so much about my children's clothes, but this is where we're at. I'm judging myself that I haven't blogged in 3 weeks and this is all I have to talk about. But think about THIS: F was born February 18. The few weeks before that we didn't go anywhere because I was super pregnant and uncomfortable and didn't want to do anything but sit on my couch. Then F came and we didn't go anywhere because I was recovering from having a baby + it was cold/flu season and we didn't want to get out too much with a newborn. THEN, just as I was feeling like, hey, I want to see people! everything shut down and no one was allowed to go anywhere. I've basically been quarantined over a month longer than the general population. I love my house but also hate my house right now.

I guess I'll go now... I'm rambling and saying pretty much nothing. But I wanted to check in. I'm alive! We are healthy and thankful to have jobs and a home. My kids have cute clothes, and I never take off my pajamas. I started running again! Unrelated but exciting,

We might not be thriving, but we are doing our best. I'm clinging to God's grace each day.

Just don't ask me if I have any goals. Because I absolutely totally do not.
Beka @ Sunshine to the Square Inch said...

I don't have goals either and all these people with covid Pinterest worthy lives annoy me right now. I survived a move during COVID. How is that one? =) Clothes are fun! That's neat R is dressing herself. And yay for 2nd hand stuff! So fun.

Kaity B. said...

Yes! All these people picking up new hobbies make me so irrationally irritated 😂 I cooked two meals and kept my kitchen clean today which is the most I've accomplished in weeks 😩

Kari said...

This is definitely the absolute best time not to have kids. Most days I'm ready for it, but this post just verified that I should be satisfied and revel in the fact that I don't have to feel like locking myself in the closet right now. lol! Bless you, girl. :)

Amie said...

I'd love to know how those people do it. I only had my one little at home and there was still no way to bake and do goals..haha I did enjoy the extra time home with him. After several weeks though I was mostly over it simply because we both needed to get back to our routine and I needed to get back to work. Your kids are just the cutest!!

AnneMarie said...

I'm so glad you are hanging in there! I was actually just thinking of you the other day when I was catching up on some of my favorite blogs, wondering how the whole "being back at work fulltime" thing was going. I can only ever get "my work" (my very few writing projects and whatnot) done if I cram it all in the fleeting moments of naptime or if I wake up really really early, so I don't know how someone is realistically supposed to handle a "fulltime job" at home while simultaneously caring for kids. I'm sure you are doing amazing-as long as people are staying alive, that's success right there! Closets are great, and I hope you're able to lock yourself in one if you need it! There have been a couple times when I've shut myself in the closet while doing a radio interview (complete with a child banging on the door), AND there have also been times when I've hidden in the corner of the baby-gated kitchen with a bowl of ice cream. I'm guessing that all stay-at-home moms have either done that or wanted to do that at times ;)

On the whole "goals" thing, I was listening to a podcast a few weeks (or maybe a month? I don't know, I've lost all sense of time) ago and the ladies on there were talking about how much mental and emotional energy is involved in just coping with the crazy fluctuations of life in this pandemic, that it's really not realistic to expect ourselves to have bundles of creative energy left so we can explore new hobbies right now. Hearing that totally made me feel validated :)

Ashley @ A Cute Angle said...

I think it's important to be honest about where we are. I;m sure three kids an a full time job is not easy! It's never easy and then you had the craziness of what's going on in the world right now. Hang in there! They look happy, dressed, and fed! What else can you ask for?!

Carolann @ Finding Ithaka said...

I honestly give you so much credit for posting given all that you have going on right now. A newborn, and two other kids while you go back to work (from home). I recently discovered smaller shops for clothing for M and I'v become addicted to buying her clothes. It's a real problem. What are your secrets for saving money on these clothes?!

Jenny Evans said...

I think you're doing amazing. Keeping 3 tiny people alive, including a newborn, while working from home with them all day? You don't need to pick up a hobby, you already have a SUPERPOWER.

Rachel said...

I can very much related to the "quarantined forever" problem because I stayed home most of 2019 with that whole dramatic pregnancy and barely being allowed to do much...then had the one month "confinement" at home with a newborn...then were were just getting back into the world and had some glorious adventures during January and February and then...back into my apartment. That is very exciting that you're allowed to go running!! I'm glad you're getting to spend more time with your kids, even if you still have to get all the work done at the same time, which is definitely not ideal...

Audrey Louise said...

I also have no quarantine goals except stay alive. It seems like by the time bedtime arrives I've only (maybe) gotten dressed and done some work... but once M is down I do laundry, dishes, maybe eat something... and the day is over. I can't IMAGINE doing all that with three children. One of enough for me, lol. F is so so cute! M has lots of cute summer outfits that no one is seeing so I've been done outfit of the day pictures on IG and saving them to my story section on my profile. I flip through them every now and then and I'm blown away by how much she's grown!
Good luck, mama!