things have gotten super weird.


Well, things have gotten super weird since I last posted. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I assume you've been taken captive by minions and locked in an underground freezer for the last couple of weeks. I don't know about you, but I daily bounce between THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD to It's fine. We are fine. This will be fine.

I told Jordan that God has answered my prayer about being a stay-at-home mom in a really strange way. I've been thrust into the SAHM life with three small children, and all I can say is that I'm taking it one day at a time. I would be lying if I didn't say that selfishly (completely selfishly, I know), I'm really upset that this whole thing has in one sense completely ruined my entire maternity leave.

Instead of lazy mornings cuddling my newborn, zoo trips, and mid-day playdate with friends--all things I cannot do during a normal work week--I'm trapped in my house, running around like a crazed chicken drowning in dishes and pretzel crumbs. I can't even go to the playground! So we are taking off our clothes and painting, and I'm trying to be calm, but this kind of activity stresses. me. out. Anyone else? No chill with messes over here.

There are a lot of sad things happening right now, and one of those is the fact that women giving birth are only allowed one support person in the hospital (their partner), and in some states now I'm seeing that they aren't allowing anyone at all. There is no right answer. I actually get why they are wanting to do this. With limited protective equipment such as masks, it really is important to limit the spread and the amount of people entering the hospital, both for the sake of the medical staff and any sick patients. But that doesn't change the fact that it's heartbreaking for any mama preparing to give birth, and I honestly can't imagine not being able to have even my husband in the room with me to witness the birth of his child.

I love the photos from our Fresh 48 hospital session after F was born, and I'm now even more grateful we had those taken since if I was giving birth now, it wouldn't be allowed! I printed a few on canvases for the nursery and hung them above the crib, and I am just so extra thankful to have them.

Another sad fallout from all of this (again, among so many sad things) is for brides who have been planning weddings for months that they are having to postpone. My little sister was nearly one of those! She has been planning her March wedding for over a year, and her Dallas venue was closed and the governor of Texas was implementing shelter in place. Long story short, they decided they weren't postponing and were going to get married one way or the other. In just under a week they moved the wedding date up, changed venues, cut the guest list, and got married! 

My mom called me at 2pm and said, "Your sister is getting married tomorrow, can you guys get down here?" I immediately put on a movie for the big kids (thankfully F was napping!) and ran around the house frantically for the next two hours packing and cleaning. Why does adding one small baby to the car mean adding 800 more bags? Good grief. At 6:00 we loaded up the mini van and took our first road trip to Texas as a family of five. 

The kids did great in the car and at the wedding. R was the sweetest flower girl, J wore the cutest vest, and I carried F in the Moby wrap and no one touched him all night. I'm so so thankful they were able to get married before all of this craziness really started spiraling.

The bright side to being at home all day is that after almost a full year of "potty training," J has decided he wants to go to the potty on his own without me having to prompt him every 45-60 minutes all day long. I don't know what changed, but it's like a flip was switched and now he's all, "Leave me alone. I do it by myself." God bless him. He's still having a few accidents here and there, but in general I feel like I can finally see the light at the end of the pull-up tunnel.

F is almost six weeks old and the sweetest ever. We think he looks more like R than J, but he does have a look all his own. He's not really on a schedule yet, mostly because I'm too preoccupied and busy with the older two to pay attention to what time he's eating or how long he's napping. But he's gaining weight and working on tummy time, and that's really all that matters. He weighed 8lbs 6oz at birth, and at his one-month checkup he was 10lbs 10oz!

When I was nursing R, I was obsessed with getting her on a schedule and keeping track of how long she was eating on each side. I had an app with a timer and a notepad and everything. I really appreciate the perspective and, in some ways, chill that comes from having more than one kid. I think back to those early days with R and LOL at my crazy self. I feel so much less stress about all of the baby things, and it's really nice, especially since these days I have so much else to stress out about!

Since we can't go the park or the zoo or science museum, etc. (and it's SO sad because R has started asking about why we can't go places; she currently thinks everything is "closed because it's being cleaned"), I've been trying to get outside as much as possible. It rained pretty much all day for over a week straight, which is very strange for Oklahoma weather, so that was a bummer, but lately we've been getting out for walks, and earlier this week I got our splash pad out of storage from last summer. The kids were pumped. Vitamin D really is good for the soul.

I honestly wish I had more time to blog because I have tons of photos I want to share, and I feel the hole in my creativity lately... unless you count trying to creatively think of ways to keep two small children entertained all day long or how to creatively use our food to minimize trips to the grocery store. I have just a few weeks left of maternity leave, and I'm honestly just trying to take one day at a time. The Bible says that each day has enough trouble of its own, and I don't know if I've ever felt that so strongly as I have the last few weeks.

I hope you are well, friends. 
Wash your hands. Hug your husband and your kids. 
Stay home.

AnneMarie said...

Hang in there! Postpartum can be tough enough already with adjusting to a new baby, and throwing a pandemic in the whole mix adds a whole other element of challenge, I'm sure! I have been thanking God repeatedly for the gorgeous weather we've had lately. If those daily torrential downpours would have continued, I probably would have lost my mind :P

What a blessing that you were able to give birth before all of the hospital restrictions, and that your sister was still able to go through with her wedding! All of your pictures are lovely, and it's great that you've been able to make some wonderful family memories in this wild time.

Lauren said...

I can't imagine how tough and exhausting (and sure, magical, whatever :) ) your days are right now! Hang in there!
And seriously, little teeny F. So cute.

Audrey Louise said...

I definitely feel for mamas on maternity leave and ESPECIALLY moms giving birth right now. What a heartbreaking environment for them. And for the fathers. Ugh. My heart just breaks for everyone. I'm glad you've been able to spend time with the kids, at least. And YAY for your sister getting married!! What a resourceful and chill bride. Good for her! The Dallas wedding we were supposed to attend got moved to their living room, seriously downsized, and live streamed on Facebook. We watched from our living room in Ohio. Such crazy times.

Maria said...

For being pulled off last minute, that is a gorgeous wedding and venue! What a fantastic photo of the Dimple Clan! Does F have dimples yet?

I keep thinking about all of the pregnant mamas and the moms who just had babies. Grandparents and family and friends all want to visit and are missing out on this precious first weeks of life. Thank goodness for technology, but I don't think it will ever replace being there. Your hospital photos are so gorgeous.

Hooray for J! That's one less thing on your plate. We did potty training "bootcamp" last week and it almost broke me, but we made it through and she's doing great now. It sounds like J's approach was much more relaxed!

Just keep swimming! You got this!

Jenny Evans said...

Okay, I've read this post like three times and I can't wrap my head around the fact that some people use their maternity leave for things like zoo trips and playdates... I feel like the first full year after I have a baby is straight-out survival mode.