I’m attempting to read through the Bible in 2018 using the She Reads Truth app, which provides the chapters for that day and also tells me how much I’ve read so far (15.6%, if you’re interested). Every fourth or fifth day, the daily reading takes me to the Psalms. In Psalm 16, there is a really beautiful section that I have unofficially taken as my verse for this year, kind of like how some people choose a word or phrase for the year.
“The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.”
-Psalm 16:5-6
-Psalm 16:5-6
A friend of mine is having a baby this year, and she is going to stay at home with the baby instead of going back to work. I figured that would be the case, but during a recent conversation she confirmed it, and I was surprised by the rush of jealousy that hit me. That surprise was quickly followed by a sharp frustration.
I thought I was over this. I thought I was fine.
Going back to work with J has been so much easier on me than it was going back to work after R. I’m thankful for so many things, and I am more able to see and appreciate all the great things about working and daycare and everything God has provided us in this season. There have been so many blessings.
I’m encouraged when I look back two years ago and see progress in regard to my heart attitude about working and being away from the kids. I’m in such a better place emotionally and spiritually than I was. But it’s been a few months since I wrote this post about going back to work, and I see now that this is going to continue to be something I struggle with.
Paul writes in Philippians 1:6: “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
I take so much comfort and hope in this verse—the reminder that God is still at work in me. In fact, I have that verse as the background on my iPhone (download your own here*). When I am frustrated that I still struggle with the same jealousy, the same anger, the same pride again and again, I can rest in the fact that there is work being done, and I am slowly (very, very slowly) becoming closer every day to the finished product Jesus is working in me.
I take so much comfort and hope in this verse—the reminder that God is still at work in me. In fact, I have that verse as the background on my iPhone (download your own here*). When I am frustrated that I still struggle with the same jealousy, the same anger, the same pride again and again, I can rest in the fact that there is work being done, and I am slowly (very, very slowly) becoming closer every day to the finished product Jesus is working in me.
Someone recently asked me, What is the motivation for someone to want to pursue faith in God? What if I feel like I’m doing okay? What do I need God for?
It's a good question. There are many things I could say, but one thing I think it's important to point out is that I don’t think anyone is actually doing okay. Maybe we think we are, but even so, who wants to settle with just “okay” anyway? I don’t. I want to be free from the jealousy and anger and pride that rises up in me without me even realizing it. I want to rest in the peace that God is continuing to work in me. On my own, I’m just going to spin in circles.
No one’s life is as pretty and neat as the square they share online; we all know that. But the daily grind of life can be hard, and sometimes it really does feel like everyone else is having a better time, an easier time, than I am.
So I remind myself that the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. I have a beautiful inheritance, and one day, there will be no stress, no jealousy and anger and pride. And God will bring everything to completion on the day of Christ Jesus.
I hope that is an encouragement to you today as much as it continues to be to me.