Coffee Date - March 2019

3.17.2019


Hello! Want to go for coffee? I'll drink chai tea, because I don't drink coffee, but you're free to have whatever you like. Let's pretend we already talked all about you, and now we're to the part where we are talking all about me. Here's what I'd talk about...

The first thing that's heavy on my mind is that R is starting in a new daycare class with a brand-new teacher this week. They don't have a set schedule for when they move kids up; it's just about when kids under her move up and also her age/abilities for the class she's going into. Every time I get the notice that she will be moving up, I get anxious. I have been so blessed in that I have loved every single teacher either kid has had since they started, and I'm always sad to leave. But for some reason this time I'm more nervous than I ever have been. Like, butterflies in my stomach nervous. She's getting to be such a big girl in the big kid classes where it's more like, I guess like school, and I feel nervous for her.

I popped into her new class on Friday morning after I dropped off the kids and introduced myself to her new teacher. I know a lot of the teachers at her daycare since we've been there for over 3 years, but I don't know this one, though I've seen her in the hallways. It's always scary to trust my kids with someone new, especially someone who will be with them for so much of the day. I feel like I am constantly praying for Jesus to watch over them and thankful that he's with them even when I'm not. If you think of it, I'd appreciate if you said a prayer for R (and for me!) this week.

After I told you that, I'd probably tell you that just being honest, I can't handle when a mom who stays at home compares me dropping my kids off at full-time daycare to them taking their kid to the church nursery on Sundays for two hours. I appreciate that they are trying to make a connection and empathize, but it's totally not the same thing at all soooooo..... no.

I'd tell you about the book I just read Where the Crawdads Sing. I wish I had a book club to sit around and discuss this with, but I read tons of Goodreads reviews/comments and asked about it in my reading Facebook group, so hopefully that will calm me down. So many thoughts. Gosh, what a fantastic writer this author is. Truly stunning prose. I felt so emotionally invested in what happened to these characters. But I didn't love the ending. I feel so unsatisfied. Still totally worth the read, but I wish it had ended differently. (My opinion, of course!) Have you read it? Let's chat!

I'd also have to tell you about the book I read before that. In contrast to the one above, it was a disappointment. The author apparently originally wrote this as a screenplay, and as a result the novel adaptation was so boring to read. Terrible, tragic things were happening (because it's WWII and Auschwitz and it's horrifying), and I felt nothing. No emotion at all or attachment to the characters. Which is crazy, because it's based on a true story! Have you read The Tattooist of Auschwitz? What did you think?

On to happier things, I'd tell you that I ran 8 miles on Saturday! Or, at least I ran for 80 minutes, so I assume I ran at least 8 miles, if not a little more. My Garmin watch needs to be charged, and I just haven't been tracking my mileage and only going by time. So, really I have no idea how fast I'm running at all. Anyway, I have a half marathon coming up at the end of April, and I've been going to the gym 2-3 times a week, but the farthest I've run on the treadmill is 5 miles, which is not really the same as 13 miles. ha! 

I set my alarm for 5:40 on Saturday and got back right as the kids were waking up. I felt so accomplished! It was awesome to have my long run finished before the day was even started.    I know it sounds insane to most people to get up that early on a Saturday if I didn't have to, but I knew that if I didn't I would just be thinking about my run all day and planning things around it, and I didn't want that pressure on my one full day at home with my kids. 

Once everyone got up and around, we went to the zoo! The weather was 100% perfect, and we had a lot of fun. We don't often do things like this, so it was really nice. I packed peanut butter sandwiches, and we saw all the animals and got home just in time for naps (for J, at least; R straight up refuses to nap on the weekends).

I have lots more I could talk about, but I've finished all my tea, and I need to get home anyway. I stayed up way too late on Saturday finishing my book, so I'm pretty tired. Tomorrow is another week! I find the daily grind of getting me and the kids ready and out the door five days a week extremely tiring and challenging in this season. 

I'm trying to find joy and give myself grace, and while those are nice things to say, they honestly (for me) often feel impossible to put into practice. Like, okay thank you for reminding me to give myself grace BUT HOW. I feel strung a bit thin with our schedule and both of us working full time outside the home, and Jordan and I are trying to change some things up so I can take a few pieces off my plate. So far the small adjustments we've made the last 2 weeks have really helped! I needed the reminder (from my mom, who else?) that as different seasons come and go, you don't have to keep doing what you've always done. You adjust and shift based on the current needs of you and the members of your family. So that's what we are doing! 

Oh gosh. Per usual, I ended up writing about things I didn't intend when I started, and I'll probably feel self-conscious if anyone in my real life mentions that they read this. But whatever! That's half the crazy of writing about your personal life on the internet. Thank you, as always, for reading. If I didn't think there was at least one person on the other side of this, I probably wouldn't bother. 

Hope you all have a great week! Find joy in the small things, and give grace to yourself where you can. And if you figure out how to actually do those things, please let me know. Basically I just want to be this bear--napping in the shade on a warm spring(ish) day. Anyone feel me? ;)

What would you tell me if we went on a coffee (tea) date?

11 comments:

  1. My favorite part of all this is “now we’re onto the part where we talk about me” Hahah how often do we actually think this?? Haha. I will be praying for you and R this week- I bet the anxiety is real and I’ll be praying for trust and peace. Also, I’ve heard conflicting things about the where the crawdads sing but I think I’m more swayed into reading it hearing your opinion of it. Finally, and this is coming from someone in a different stage of life but I can resonate with the HOW to give myself grace. There’s an author named Kristin Neff and she did her PhD on self compassion. Anyway she has a YouTube video that’s “self esteem versus self compassion”- it’s a 20 minute Ted talk and I think you’d resonate with it. She also has a boo on self compassion- my therapist recommended her to me and all her stuff is literally changing my life right now. And it talks about giving yourself grace and compassion- it is SO good. For reference the author has a son who’s autistic and she talks about being nice to herself when her son is completely losing it in public- I felt like it was super relatable and im not even a mom. Anyway, let me know if you check her out. Loved the update! ☺️

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    1. Thank you for sharing! I will definitely check it out. Sounds interesting!

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  2. I only have one kiddo and the week wears me out, not sure how you do it with two!! You deserve any and all breaks you can get :)

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    1. I'm not sure how I do it either sometimes! haha. I really want to "thrive and not just survive" as the saying goes, but right now I feel like I'm heavier on the survive part ;)

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  3. Awesome job on your run!!!! :) I personally feel like any mileage on the treadmill is equal to more on the road haha!

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  4. Wow, great job on your run! That's really, really awesome-I hope that the half marathon goes well for you next month! Hmm...I am intrigued by your review about the WWII book-that one has been on my list, and I usually love WWII novels, so now I want to bump it up my list so I can read it sooner and see what I think! I already have a couple books going, though, so I'm not sure when I'll actually get around to it. But sometime!

    Can I just say that I have tons of admiration for what you do? I know this probably doesn't help the "give yourself grace" situation, but honestly, it is always such a hassle for me to get two kids out of the house and in the car, so the fact that you do that every single morning before work is just amazing. It's good that you and your husband are trying to work through your schedule and commitments to make things easier! I think your mom's advice is so great and necessary for everyone to hear. My husband and I schedule a "couple dialogue" each month where we have a conversation (the two of us + God) about what's working at the moment, what's not, and where God is leading us. That practice has been really helpful for me to keep in mind that we can always change things up as our family dynamics change!

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  5. I'll chat about that book with you!

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  6. I definitely relate to that bear...
    Sending you and R some good vibes and prayers this week! I hope it's going well so far!
    What a fun Saturday with the family!!

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  7. Where the Crawdads Sing is on my Beach Reading List for our North Carolina trip this summer! I am trying to be optimistic that I'll have time to read it :) I will for sure love to discuss afterwards.

    I'm so glad you updated me to how R did in her new classroom. How's she doing after a few days? How are YOU doing after a few days of the new classroom?

    Oh man. Your mama is one smart lady. I needed to hear that too. We get in such a routine around here that the days and weeks sometimes look all the same and then boom - she's 20 months old. I'm going to take a good hard look at what isn't working and see if small changes could fix that.

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  8. I also was underwhelmed by the ending of Crawdads, but the rest of it was so stunning, it still eked out 4.5 stars from me. I read your (long) review on Goodreads, and I TOTALLY AGREED WITH BASICALLY EVERYTHING. Glad you took the words right out of my mouth :)

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  9. I did read the Tattooist of Auschwitz last month. I only ready about 3 books a year, and I read 2 over our spring break this year and was super proud of myself. I liked the story, but felt the writing style was pretty simple compared to other (more emotionally compelling) WW2 stories I've read. I think knowing it was a true story helped me to connect, because WW2 really wasn't that long ago, and I really can't imagine those things happening. I think about my grandparents living at that time, and how my problems in daily life are so small compared to the experiences of the characters in the story.

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