The Egg Roulette Game

12.07.2011


This is the second time eggs have played a significant role in a post on this blog. 

The first was earlier this year in what turned out to be one of my favorite posts, when a blizzard hit Oklahoma, and I found myself wandering from store to store looking for 3 eggs with which to bake some cupcakes. (It might not sound like all that much, but I encountered more than a few ridiculous obstacles along the way.)

In that case, it all ended well, and I moved on from that incident, thankful for eggs and cupcakes and the blizzards that make life exciting every once in a while. 

This egg story ends a bit differently. 

I've not yet shared this story with you, because it makes my family look even crazier than we did during the pinata incident. But I feel the time has come. As such, let's flashback to our family camping trip a few weeks ago, and I'll tell you about a little game we invented: Egg Roulette

It all started with the carton of eggs pictured above. Every camping trip, my parents team up to cook a delicious breakfast of eggs and bacon over a tiny camping stove. My dad is egg master; my mom is the bacon queen. As such, for as long as I can remember my mom has packed a huge carton of eggs and a few pounds of bacon for our camping breakfast.


On Saturday morning (or maybe it was Sunday; I can't remember), we ate eggs and bacon until our stomachs protested, and then we ate no more. 

"Come on, you guys," my mom said, holding up the near-empty egg carton, "there are still 5 eggs left. You couldn't eat five more eggs?" 

She was slightly annoyed because there's a strange--but real--sense of accomplishment when you're able to condense the packing at the end of a camping trip and come home with less than you brought. It's understandable why mom didn't want to have to pack up the entire carton when there were only five eggs left.

"Why don't we just throw them at trees?" That was my bright idea. Apparently when you're camping, you revert back to being a twelve-year-old and come up with ingenious, age-appropriate ideas like throwing eggs at trees.

"No, we can't do that," my mother's voice of reason replied. 

"Okay, well why don't we stand in a circle, throw them up in the air, and see who they land on." 

That one was straight from my dad. 
Now you see where I get it. 

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, it probably won't surprise you to know that as my mom's eyes widened in shock and the boys laughed, I was buying my ticket and hopping on the express train to Crazy Town. 

"That's a great idea!" I shouted. 
"What?" my mom said, looking at me with even wider eyes. "You can't do that!" 
But for me there was no going back. "No, it's totally awesome. We have to do it."
Then, my dad jumped in again with a brilliant and necessary addition. "Everyone should hold a plate over their head, so they won't get egg in their hair. It's like--"
"Egg roulette!" I'm not sure who the suggestion came from, but it was perfect. And so it was decided. 

My two brothers, Jordan, and I were all going to get an egg. My dad wanted to throw but not actually be in the "game," so he got the last egg. (A true evil genius he is to create the stupid idea but not actually participate.) My sister and mom were smart and offered to stay out of the way of the yolk and just take pictures. 

The four of us were each going to take a paper plate to hold over our head. On the count of three, we'd throw the eggs up in the air (my dad would throw one too), and then we'd put the plates over our heads and wait for the eggs to come crashing down. 

And since I can't do anything without a point, we made rules: 

Whoever got the least egg on them won.
Whoever got splattered the most, lost. 

At this point, I was still thinking this was the best idea ever. 
I now believe someone spiked my trail mix. 

So we set off across the road (because we didn't want egg pieces all over our campsite), seven people carrying cameras, paper plates, and raw eggs. The whole time my mom was trying to talk us out of it. Spoiler alert: she didn't.

And--another spoiler alert--I lost. Of course. Is anyone surprised?

Here's how you play: 

Step 1: Get in a circle


Step 2: Throw eggs in the air


Step 3: Point and Laugh
[This step is vital to the success of the game. 
If you can't laugh at yourself and the other players, then you're just a circle of sad idiots throwing eggs at each other.]


Step 4: Determine a Winner
It clearly wasn't Austin.


Or me.
You can't see it, but I also had egg yolk trickling down my right pant leg, the rest of my shirt, and my entire right arm.


And the winner was... Jordan!  
He found the tiniest bit of egg on his arm after a thorough search.
I don't know how he escaped unscathed.

Step 5: Help your fellow players when they find yolk in their hair.


Step 6 (if necessary): Search for wounds

We all rushed over after my brother Austin shouted, "It drew blood!"



And the 7th and final step: Gather the idiots competitors together and take a picture


After this, we cleaned ourselves up and busted open a pinata
Cuz that's how we do it on the Reese Family Camping Trip.

5 comments:

  1. I just got a chance to read this in it's entirety and IT'S AMAZING! Your dad sounds hilarious. Do you think you'll make this game a routine? I am not sure if I can convince my camping friends to consider this - but it's worth a shot. Especially if we have leftover eggs.

    Thanks for linking up and my apologies for slacking on my blog commenting.

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  2. I LOVE YOUR FAMILY!!!! Seriously, you guys seem soooo happy and funny and like there is never a dull moment. I love that. This is hilarious. Crazy and hilarious! It makes me want to go on a camping trip and slyly suggest this game when we have a few eggs left over...

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  3. Oh this was just too wonderful. Our families would certainly get along. Yolk on the face? Poor Austin. That had to hurt.

    When I was a teacher in Mozambique, I was in charge of the games at the school picnic. I couldn't find water balloons so we had an egg toss. It was awesome. But I wish I had known about egg roulette!

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  4. bahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! i still think that is pretty genius!!

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  5. Man, that must be a lot of fun to do, just throwing eggs up in the air and breaking it on someone's head or on the ground, brilliant. XD, I tried that and me and my friends died laughing.

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