Why Extroverts are Misunderstood and Introverts Talk too Much

8.31.2013

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*I normally don't use disclaimers, but here's a disclaimer that I'm going to add a disclaimer to this post.

**DISCLAIMER: I don't hate introverts. I love them. I happen to be married to one of the most introverted people I've ever met. However, more than I love my introvert husband, I love being dramatic about unimportant topics. Also, I love Someecards. Ergo....

I've seen a lot of articles floating around lately about introverts. (Like these: 23 reasons you're secretly an introvert | 31 unmistakable signs you're an introvert | I even found this: 22 signs your dog is an introvert). Your dog. 
You clicked on that link, didn't you?

(Tangent alert -->) Did you know that 60% of women would rather save an animal from a speeding bus than a foreign tourist? I learned that from random radio trivia last week. Thank you, KMGL.

Anyway.
It seems to me like, for being introverted and apparently violently opposed to talking to other people, introverts are very vocal about how misunderstood they are. You'd think they would just be quiet about it. Not so.

If you Google "Signs You're an Extrovert," you will find this article: Top 8 Signs You're an Extroverted Exerciser and this one: 25 Frustrating Things about Being an Extrovert. That's it. After that you will find a list of articles about introverts.

If, however, you Google, "Signs You're an Introvert," there's like a billion articles.

NO LOVE, people. No love.
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So yeah. Introverts. They're kind of annoying, right? I mean come on already! Either decide you want to talk to people or be quiet, but don't TALK about how you don't like to talk to people. Good grief.

Extroverts don't get no love. Hello! WE'RE THE FUN ONES! We are the spice of life that artistic introverts write about and draw pictures of. If there were no extroverts in the world, there would be no awkwardness or People of Walmart. (Because I am convinced that only an extrovert could rock back fat and a leopard-print thong.) You're picturing it, aren't you? You're welcome.

Let me just tell you that being an extrovert is no joke. You introverts think you're misunderstood? No, sir. When you're a self-proclaimed extrovert, people expect you to appear at social functions and make everyone laugh. 

Introverts can use the whole "I just don't feel like seeing anyone today" line, and everyone nods sympathetically in agreement. Extroverts can't say that, or people will think we've been body snatched. 

"What's this you say about wanting to be alone? Me no understand. See you at 7." 
Well crap.

Jordan's so used to me talking his ear off that on the occasional day when I just don't feel like talking, he's all, "What wrong?" every five minutes. 

So I say, "Nothing was wrong until you started asking me all these questions. But now I'm annoyed." Then we have a marital dispute, and one of us (him) threatens to "never ask me another question again ever." Dramatic much?

Introverts are also called "wise" and "smart" because they think before they speak. You know what happens to me? I blurt out every single thought that flits through my brain, and then I sound like an idiot half the time, and everyone laughs at me. 

MISUNDERSTOOD.
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Also, apparently introverts don't like small talk. I want to know who does like small talk? Seriously. You think I like talking about how windy Oklahoma is to everyone I meet? No I do not. I personally think we should all band together and boycott talking about the weather ever again. Like, ever.
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I could go on, but I think you see my point. 
Extroverts aren't the only misunderstood ones. And introverts need to stop talking so much.

Now leave me alone. I'm tired.

*No introverts were harmed during the writing of this post.
**If you are offended by anything in this post, blame Jordan, because he read this before it was published and said it was funny.
Anonymous said...

So true. Yet another double standard, right? I currently work with someone who is the most extreme introvert... I've probably heard him say a total of twenty words, while in the meantime, I ramble on like an idiot and he just stares at me. This is in the middle of a row of green chile and poor guy has no where to flee.... (farmers, ha) Anyway, this post made me laugh because I am dealing with such an extreme introvert right now in life. I'm not really sure how to handle it haha

Helene in Between said...

Hahah yes!!! I love this. As an extrovert it seems we are getting a bad rap lately and I'm sick of it!

Gesci Meyer said...

This is funny! And I am an introvert... but I talk a lot (A LOT), usually as a way to keep people at bay (it works, I promise. Talk superficially and no one asks real questions) so when I'm quiet I get the "are you okay? Are you sick? Are you mad? Are you dead?" questions as well.

I do have to disagree with you on one point, though- I like the weather as a conversation topic. (See above.)
As for the random fact, I'd save any animal before I saved any human- it doesn't matter if they're foreign or a tourist or my family... and yes, they know this. I'd help them next, though.

Jes. said...

You're hilarious. I had to read this aloud to my extroverted husband.

Shayla Eaton said...

This is excellent! As an ENFP, I can truly relate. Look, I know I'm hilarious and outgoing and all, but give me just five minutes by myself. I cannot entertain you people every thirty seconds. Great post, great post.

Sarah said...

Great post! I feel like I fall in the middle of being an intro and an extro. Is that even possible? HA!

Anonymous said...

This is great! I think I'm an introvert around new people but get to know me and I'm a total extrovert! My brains a little weird that way.

Niken said...

muahahaha,,
sorry i'm an introvert. but, i do love you.
and FYI, when i don't feel like talking you better bet my friends don't let me get away with it just like that

Michelle Kaye said...

Hahaha yes! Once people know that you're an extrovert, they expect you to be ON at all times. No! Some days I just want to pretend I'm an introvert.

Michelle @ Mishfish13

Laura Morgan said...

That someecard about being surprised by what comes out of your mouth is hilarious. You make a good point. Introverts, self included, are self-obsessed. I can think of two popular books about introverts and none about extroverts. Oh, the injustice of it all. To be fair, I say plenty of dumb things and embarrass myself all the time because I feel pressure to fill the silence but don't have the confidence to just own the ridiculous thing I've said.

Please don't tell my mom I'm commenting on blogs during church. I'm in the cry room while Ava takes a nap. She's the heathen.

Ashley @ Coffee & Macarons said...

In all the personality-type tests, I'm considered an introvert, but I am LOUD. Like, "seriously Ashley, simmer down" LOUD. Also, I teach. And blog. And post pictures of myself on the internet. I obviously like to be paid attention to, right?

Then again, there's just something about curing up in a small space and reading for 5 hours, amiright?

xoxo

Kerry @ Till Then Smile Often said...

I am totally an introvert but when I know someone really well look out I don't shut up!!

Elizabeth Mayberry said...

girl. thanks for sticking up for us extroverts! i too am married to a wonderful introvert but i am totally not. i totally get the "what's wrong" and social gathering things as well :)

loved it. also, my introverted husband thought it was funny too.

Deidre said...

Seriously, there needs to be some marital guide about men asking/saying the same thing over and over again. My husband will apologise like 75 times for something I wasn't upset about, until I'm so annoyed at the apologising that I AM UPSET.

See also repeating the same song lyric five thousands times - oy.

Anonymous said...

Extroverts unite! Love your point about how they're always talking about how they don't like talking. That most recent article was going around Facebook like crazy, and as I was reading it, I was thinking many of the same things that you posted here. :) amen sister!

itbritt said...

Bahahaha.
I am a total introvert.
However I talk a lot.
AND my husband asks me "whats wrong" when I don't talk too. It makes me crazy!

Anonymous said...

I LOVE this post, written by a true extrovert! I'm an extrovert too and I agree with you, there's a lot of pressure. It's hard if you do have days where you feel like no seeing people or doing things, people just don't understand!

I'd pick being an introvert any day.

Kate - diariesofanessexgirl.com

Laura Darling said...

This is so funny! I have also wondered why so many introverts are writing/talking about being introverted! Seems a little ironic! :)

Rachel Sedaker said...

Hahaha, this had me laughing, and I'm an introvert. My deal is that I've become more vocal about my introversion after finally realizing that it is normal for half the population, contrary to all of the heckling I got throughout my (awkward) teen years and college years. I'll be happy if I never hear "why is Rachel so quiet?" ever again. My closest friends tend to be extroverts, however, because I like the way they fill up my silence.

Tamara said...

I'm definitely more of an extrovert and I can totally relate to having 20 questions thrown at you on the rare days I don't feel like talking.

"Are you okay?"
"What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry for whatever I did wrong and you're not talking to me now"

Some days I just don't want to be out in the universe and its hard explaining that to people who always see you as friendly talker like person.

Us extroverts can't ever get a quiet day in.

Jessica Elyse @ Memoirs of a Mommy said...

Oh my gosh. This is hilarious. I have always been a self proclaimed extrovert, but all those introvert posts got me thinking. But then....oh then, I read your list and ha, I can so relate! I love the occasional day where you are quiet. My husband freaks out when I am not talking....and seriously, I am NOT mad until you ask me 100 times and don't believe when I say I am not. Sadly, I think extroverts like to talk to hear their own voices, or maybe that's just me. Not that I love the sound of my voice, but I hate awkward silence or too much quiet.

Holly said...

Oh HECK yes!! I am mostly an extrovert, anyone who knows me will tell you that. However, I definitely have introvert tendencies, like wanting some alone time or not wanting to talk to anyone after a long day or whatever...and you're right! People ALWAYS think something is wrong!! It's annoying. I love this post :)

Z said...

Wow, PREACH. I am a tried and true extrovert in every way and I get so much flack from all my introvert friends about how much energy and social-ness I have. Along with all these other funny photos, there's a great sketch going around the tumblr community about how introverts and extroverts are perceived. (introverts are holding a book and saying "i'm going to go read and sip tea and talk about deep life things with people I care about" and the extrovert is flailing around going "people people PARTY drinking singing YELLING running talking talking talking PARTYYY!!!" ...at least, that's what I think it says.)

Anonymous said...

I think the issue is that people tend to think to black and white about others and not that people are complex beings that need to be alone sometimes no matter their personality type they need time for personnel reflection.

Kristin Saling said...

I so feel you on people asking what's wrong if you're quiet for any length of time. I will talk anyone and everyone's ear off. My husband usually gets concerned if I meet someone and I don't immediately engage them in conversation - do I not like them? No, it's just sometimes I have a non-extrovert moment and wander off inside my own brain.

Anonymous said...

Notice all of the introverts are doing their "talking" through writing though. I bet there are not as many books and articles about extroverts because most of them are actually talking about it instead of writing about it. Though I consider myself an introvert, I definitely do not fall under the "only want to get into deep conversations" category. I would much rather keep things light and laugh and joke around and I actually dread conversations about thoughts and feelings...it's a lot of pressure! I just think we need to stop putting introverts and extroverts into a box because we all react differently according to mood, personality and circumstance, and that's how we keep things balanced :)

Anonymous said...

Imagine getting a bad rap your whole life.

M. Francis said...

Too funny! I have never understood why we all need to be categorized and boxed in by a label, then expected to adhere to its defining characteristics at all times. Can't we all just be uniquely ourselves, celebrate our innate right to march according to the changing tempos of our own inner drums? Some days I'm an extrovert and some days I'm an introvert, some days I'm a zany hybrid of the two. You can't contain this, honey...Booyah!
So there... deep and dramatic!....must be a hybrid day.

Anonymous said...

The reason introverts write about this stuff so much as opposed to extroverts is because introverts prefer writing to talking. It's not that introverts do not like expressing themselves, it's that introverts do not like talking much most of the time. lol. Absolutely nothing wrong with extroverts though. We all balance each other out! And right on to M. Francis' comment, we are all unique and complex individuals!

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