Just Yesterday

8.09.2016


For R. 
On the eve of your first birthday.

One year ago today, I would meet you tomorrow.

Everyone said first babies came late,
but you came nine days early.
7 pounds, 9 ounces, and perfect from head to toe.

Maybe you cried when you first came out,
but I don’t remember.
I do remember the first time you laid on my chest.
The first time I saw your dimples.

They put you in the bassinet,
and I pushed you down the hallway to our room.
Slowest and proudest walk of my life.

Jordan and I so exhausted we could hardly keep our eyes open,
yet unable to sleep because we wanted to make sure you were okay.

One year ago today, I would meet you tomorrow.

You passed your hearing test with flying colors,
startled awake at the softest sound.
Cried during your entire newborn photoshoot at the hospital.

The nurse had to show us how to change your diaper,
wrap a swaddle,
adjust the straps on the car seat.

We left the hospital at 5:00 pm and drove home during rush-hour traffic.
I kept reaching back to make sure you were breathing.

One year ago today, I would meet you tomorrow.

Flashing two dimples and looking just like your daddy.

You slept, and we couldn’t stop staring.
You yawned, and we snapped pictures.
You sneezed, and we laughed.

You couldn’t do much, just laid in my arms.
But you were so curious, looking at everything and everyone around you.

Then, I blinked.

And you held up your head
and sat up
and rolled over
and crawled
and pulled up
(We are still waiting for you to walk)

One year ago today, I would meet you tomorrow.

And yet, somehow,
(please ignore this cliché)
but it really does feel like it all happened
just yesterday.

22 comments:

  1. SO MANY TEARS. My gosh this is so beautiful <3 Happy (almost) birthday sweet R!!

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  2. ALL of the tears. This is so beautiful, Amanda!

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  3. This is so beautiful. R is so lucky to have you as a momma! Happy Birthday to R!!

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  4. Ahhh, so true. Happy birthday to your little girl! My baby will be one in 2 1/2 weeks and I'm just savoring her last moments as a baby (even thought they'll always be our babies!).

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  5. Happy Happy Happy Birthday, Sweet Little R! And here's to hoping momma makes it through the day without too many tears! What a bittersweet occasion!

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  6. CHILLS. Amanda! This is beautiful. I absolutely loved this. It's SO obvious how much you both adore your sweet baby girl!

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  7. So so beautiful!! Happy birthday to your sweet girl!

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  8. This is beautiful. So well-written and emotional. She'll be so happy to read this someday. Happy Birthday to her!

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  9. Oh gosh... I am a sap. Pass the tissue please.

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  10. Sigh. Such a perfect little encapsulation of, as they say, "all the feels" of the first moments and the first year. So crazy she's already one!

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  11. Oh my goodness excuse me while I sit over here and cry like a fool!!!! Chills washed over me when you said "I do remember the first time you laid on my chest" ahhhhh I cant wait for these first moments!!! You have one amazing little lady! This was so beautiful!

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  12. Oh my gracious. Thank you for sharing your journey with us! I love it and you and baby R.

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  13. Beautiful! Time sure flies! It's funny because I always forget R has a name and just think of her as R!

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  14. So, so sweet. The first year certainly flies by. Enjoy that first birthday celebration with your darling little one. :)

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  15. Oh my gracious, so precious. I can't believe it has been a year (well nearly)! :)

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  16. So beautiful! Happy Birthday, R!

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  17. good job, you made me cry.
    happy birthday to R. she is one very loved daughter!

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  18. This is beautiful. I've never met you in person but I know that you are an amazing mother and that R is lucky to have you. She is also so lucky that you are a writer and that she will have these things to look back on when she is older. (still crying by the way)

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  19. This is so beautiful! Happy birthday to R!

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  20. This is amazing! I hope you submit it to get published.

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  21. Amanda!!!! This poem is perfection! Print it, frame it, and put it in a scrapbook/baby book. And write one every year. What a treasure!!!

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