i'm convinced teething is a curse of the fall

1.24.2017

I had a few friends whose children seemed to have no problem at all with teething.  Their kid went to bed with zero teeth and woke up with six! A miracle! They didn't cry at all!

Note that I said I had a few friends.
Those people are dead to me.

I will withhold names to protect the guilty, but let's just say that someone in our house who is usually a lovely, sweet, and smiley (albeit opinionated and somewhat sassy) little girl has taken over powers of the dark side and become a monster seemingly overnight. 

At first you think it's something she ate or maybe a cold she picked up at daycare. You go with it for a day or two, thinking surely it has to be over soon. 

You wish you were so lucky.

This someone (let's call her S) continues to be grumpy, cry all the time about nothing, and generally be unhappy morning, noon, and night no matter what you try. Out of desperation, you hold her down, pry her mouth open, shine a flashlight in there, and see the tiniest hint of white on her gum. Finally an explanation! You aren't going crazy after all! Yes, she is a monster, and at least there's a reason.

S has not handled teething well for any of her teeth so far, and honestly I can't blame her. I don't remember the feeling of a new tooth growing in, but I can't imagine it being very pleasant. So I try to be patient, but after a while I start to think that she is just never going to be nice to me ever again. Part of that is the sleep deprivation talking because she's waking up four times a night and it's really not so cute.

You can easily Google the approximate ages when each new tooth should be coming in, and for the most part she's been pretty much right on track. Right now she is working on her upper canines (typically erupt between 16 and 22 months!), and all I can say is that a teething toddler is so much worse than a teething baby. Like, they really aren't even on the same level of ridiculous insanity. I think this is due in large part to the fact that at this stage they are bigger and heavier and louder and just generally more in charge of their own movements.

S has decided that she hates all things, even food, which is really saying something about her state of mind. She wants water, so you give her water and she throws her cup on the floor. She wants her paci, so you give her the paci and she chucks it across the room. She wants food, so you give her food and she smashes it in her palm and drops it on the ground. She wants you to hold her, so you pick her up and she screams until you put her down. ALL DAY LONG EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK. 

This might sound like typical toddler behavior, but I swear she's not usually like this! And if she is, it's an isolated incident. Last night she actually smiled at me while playing with blocks, and I was nearly giddy with excitement because I was starting to be afraid she would never smile again. I have taken literally zero pictures of her for over a week because there has been nothing to document.

Actually I take that back. I did take one picture of her during breakfast last weekend because it was one of those classic "why my kid is crying" moments. I gave her two halves of a banana instead of one full banana. Big mistake. She yelled at me for a good two minutes while trying to put the two halves back together. (Mother-daughter bonding moment!)

Not one single day in the year that I have been working have I ever been excited to drop her off at daycare, and on Monday I said, "Bye, good luck" and practically ran out of there. Because seriously, good luck dealing with that crazy. Sure enough, when I picked her up they told me that she was cranky all day and tried to bite and push anyone who got within two feet of her. She's going to be sooooo popular.

As of this morning, her tooth seems to have erupted, so I can only hope the end is near (for this tooth, at least). Thirteen teeth down, seven to go, and by that time Baby Bum #2 will be here and we can start teething all over again!

When considering having a second (or third or fourth) baby, you really can't consider factors like teething or I don't think anyone would even have a first kid.

23 comments:

  1. Teething is the worst and those canines are a word that I don't allow myself to type.

    I can still remember the weekend that Abigail's came in and that was yearssss ago. I feel for you.

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  2. Oh no!!!! I'm sitting here reading this as I just yelled at Z for not being patient while I clean up her poo and spit up and heat a bottle at the same time. Teething sounds no fun!

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  3. Annabelle only has 2 teeth! Her top two are so close to breaking through and this past week has been exactly like you've said. I am not sure we're even going to get to 20 teeth with how slow this is, haha.

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  4. Good thing you got pregnant before all this or she may have been an only child. I was seriously cracking up reading this but am also obviously feeling for you. I would have put myself in the "my baby was un-phased by teething" category for his first two teeth - one day they weren't there and then they were. But this second set? Lord help me. And they didn't even come in at the exact same time like the last two so the experience has been prolonged #rude. My question is DO WE REALLY NEED TEETH THOUGH? I can see why they were necessary before blenders but now, not so much.

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  5. Well, I remember some of my molars coming in as a teenager and they hurt like nobody's business. Teething sucks. I gave my kid ibuprofen every night at bedtime when they were coming in and I would do it again.

    Oh, and you actually hear angels sing when you realise all 20 are in and YOU ARE DONE. :)

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  6. SOLIDARITY. I swear everyone around me said their kids were perfect angels while teething and it never bothered them. It gives me the same level of rage as the people who tell me they had no morning sickness. (Not really, but sometimes.) Teething makes Gracie a monster too. Exactly like S. We're working on 2 year molars right now. They don't even look that close to coming in, but we've had some terrible days already that are clearly attributed to teeth. Her 4 canines came in at once while we were traveling. It almost ended me.

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  7. I have since learned to not share my teething-isn't-real advice. 😬 My kids absolutely have gone through those phases; I think I'm just too unobservant to know why. I remember a solid 3 months when Ava COULD NOT be put down while I was sick and pregnant. That was fun. It was probably a whole row of teeth.
    May the force be with you.

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  8. Oh NO! Poor R. And poor you! With my daughter who is now 3 I only noticed mild crankiness when the 1st two bottom teeth came in. The rest were so easy - Poof! New teeth! But currently with my son... Not so! We are at 14 months & #5 just came in so a ways to go yet and I'm like: WHERE did my sweet smiley baby go???

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  9. "Let's call her S" hahaha. No advice (obviously) but teething almost killed me and we've only done 8. Solidarity.

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  10. "Mother-daughter bonding moment" - HAHAHA!
    I HATE when my teeth hurt so I feel like I can relate to R/S's troubles. Lol. Good luck to you! At least you're more than halfway done with one mouth...!

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  11. Oh man, that sounds awful for both of you!! Although I'll admit I laughed thinking about her trying to put the banana back together!!

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  12. Ugh. And I'm over here thinking that a teething baby hasn't been too fun. I know the REAL fun is still coming our way then ha! It's rough all around.

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  13. At least her teeth don't ruin her cute face. =) I hope those teeth come in soon!

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  14. Ahh. I cannot imagine how badly you guys want those teeth to come in!!! At least "S" is still cute ;) haha

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  15. Ohhh the things I have to look forward to...

    I have my "I didn't WANT two banana halves, I wanted a WHOLE banana" days too, though. I don't think I'm teething.....

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  16. Been there! Charlie has zero issues with teething as a a baby and then when he hit 18 months he had a 3-week period where he was just miserable. Fighting sleep, screaming all the dang time. I promise your sweet R will be back to normal before you know it ❤️

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  17. The banana bonding made me L O L. Oh poor baby.

    Ava has been feeling all the feelings for the past week or so too. I think it's a combination of two top molars coming in, getting over her cold, and her 15 month appointment on Tuesday. Doctor appointments and shots always stress her out.

    It's hard to be a baby/toddler.

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  18. This blog post is a great example of why I love your blog. You are talking about something so miserable and yet the way you phrase things is just so funny that I find myself laughing about it. I hope "S" handles any future teeth better than this round!

    Also, I remember the pain of my wisdom teeth coming in and I absolutely told people that I understood why babies and toddlers were so cranky when their teeth came in because it's just an awful feeling!

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  19. I always say that amelia teething early was the reason that I was okay being at work sooner than later. She had two teeth by four months old. And also was a terror while teething. I almost punched a friend whose daughter didn't get teeth until 11 months old and "oh yea they just appeared!"

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  20. Lol! I laugh because I have been(/am) there. We had a five month streak of sleepless nights, and I'm convinced my daughter is the most sensitive teether ever. She's also a very stubborn toddler so tantrums and meltdowns are kind of normal around here. The pediatrician said "terrible twos" start at 1 for some kids, and when it's paired with teething, it's hard! If your daughter's never been like this before, though, I'm sure it'll get better soon!

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  21. Teething toddlers are the absolute worst! You can't do anything to please them. We went through it a couple of months ago when the lower then upper canines came in. I'll be praying for you!

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  22. Gaaaah! So much Yes! Remi is working on 3 canines right now! Insert crab apple and Mama sleeping in her crib just to calm her down. Sigh. On top of that.. baby is also teething.... But at least I can just snuggle him and give him meds and he chills out. I hope things get better for you all soon!

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