Hard Things and Smiles

5.31.2017

Last week was a really, really hard week for all of us. Last Sunday R woke up from her nap sick. I stayed home with her on Monday and ended up taking her to the doctor Tuesday morning after two days of a fever that didn't get below 101 and general grouchiness and a total lack of appetite, which is highly unusual for my little girl who eats almost anything. She tested negative for strep, but the doctor suspected a case of hand, foot & mouth.

She was sick all week long and was only somewhat well enough (and not contagious) to go to daycare on Friday. She got sores in and around her mouth and refused to eat anything because it hurt too much. She continued to run a fever, be irritable, and had a very difficult time sleeping. She would wake up every 45 minutes to an hour screaming in pain, and there's no medicine for HFM except rotating Tylenol and Motrin every 4-6 hours until it goes away on its own.

One thing about being a working mom that I never thought about being challenging is what to do when your child is sick. In the interest of sharing more about the life of a working mom, here is some insight: Your child is sick. You've been up most of the night comforting her, stressing about her temperature, and trying to make sure she's comfortable. You got minimal sleep, yet you still have to get up and get dressed and go to an office and pretend to function as a professional. Or, you can use one of your limited sick/PTO days and stay at home. Let's say you do the latter, but then the next day your child is still sick. They can't go to daycare, so you either use another PTO day or scramble to find childcare.

Let's say you find childcare. You head to work feeling not only super tired but also incredibly sad and guilty that you just left your sick child, who just wants her mama, in the care of someone else. I honestly don't say this to be all "woe is me" but to say that it's hard being a working mom in ways some people don't even think about. I know I didn't ever think about it before I became a working mom, but it's a real struggle that we all face at some point!

Thankfully, my mother-in-law lives close and has a flexible job where she can switch her days off, so we tag-teamed watching R during the week when I had to be in the office and she had to be at work. I'm just thankful it didn't happen this week, because we have some VIPs in the office all week, and I really couldn't have taken off due to some meetings and the need to show up and actually look nice for once.

Friday and the three-day Memorial weekend could not have come sooner. We were all totally exhausted and running on empty, and on Saturday night I actually came down with something that is causing me to feel less than awesome (aka terrible). My throat is killing me, and I have chills off and on. At work yesterday I was pouring sweat for over an hour, meanwhile no one else thought it was hot. By the afternoon I was wearing a blanket. I am a mess. At this stage it's impossible to forget that I'm pregnant, but sometimes I forget that I'm super pregnant, like, could-have-the-baby-at-any-time-now pregnant. I probably just overdid it what with all the craziness that was going on with R, but prayers for good health appreciated!

I find myself wondering how we are ever going to manage both working full time and having two kids when one is sometimes too much! I know in my head that it will work out, but it's weeks like the one we just had that make me feel very overwhelmed and anxious about how it actually works out.
It was such a joy to see our sweet girl smiling and eating and playing over the weekend. She is still having a hard time sleeping at night (which means we are having a hard time getting sleep! send help), but she is acting so much more like herself and it makes me happy. 

She is full-on toddler sass and toddler funnies and it's hilarious and frustrating and basically my favorite ever. I know every parent says this about their child, but honestly she is so smart. She's learning more and more words, and I can tell she understands more of what we say every day.
It seems like last week was long and hard for a lot of people, so I hope that so far you are having a smooth week, maybe even enjoying the start to summer if you are a teacher or finishing up the last week or two of school. 

Depending on when Baby Bum comes, it's just a few more weeks left of work for me and then I have a summer off too! Of course, I know I'll be even more sleep-deprived than I felt last week, but I'm still excited to spend more time with R (and Baby Bum, of course!). Even if she is crazy and runs me ragged half the time, I will never as long as I live, get enough of her smiles.

19 comments:

  1. Prayers for all of you! I'm glad R is feeling better but I hope your's is nothing serious. Pregnant + momming + sick sounds like misery. Praying you are all back to 100% SOON!

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  2. What a horrible week! I am so, so sorry. I'm not quite sure how you survived all that. I'm praying for health and good sleep for you all.

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  3. Sending lots of good thoughts your way!!! Hugs!

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  4. ugh. we've had a lot of sick at our house lately and it is no fun. i know exactly how you feel with the sick kids/working thing too. we are lucky that we have babysitter/mother in law who come to our house, but i feel so much guilt leaving the poor babies when they're sick, and also i just want to stay home when I've been up all night too. no good way to do it, we just do it, right? i hope you feel better soon! can't wait for baby bum!

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    1. Thanks so much. Glad you understand. It's definitely something I didn't think about before I was working and had a kid. It's so hard to not just be able to focus 100% on your sick kid and also feel guilty for leaving them when they are sick! But that's super awesome you have someone who can come to your house. It was stressful not having her able to go to daycare for an entire week. I finally took her on Friday morning!

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  5. I keep waiting for that HFM to roll around our daycare...keeping prayers going that it doesn't! I had no idea you didn't take medicine for it though, it sounds terrible. I am so sorry R didn't feel well but I am sure it is wonderful that she is feeling herself again. It's hard juggling work with a sick little one but we just have to figure it out as we go along right? haha

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  6. Yikes, what a rough week! Thank goodness you have family nearby who can help you out with the childcare situation...because if one of the parents can't be with her, a grandparent is definitely the next best thing :)

    Here's hoping you all feel better soon!

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  7. The sick child/miss work deal was something I never thought of either, until my sister had a kid. Oh man. And while all the parents-in-law are nearby, they all still work, not REALLY flexible jobs either. It's been scary - job security wise - for her and all of us. I swear, no joke, she hasn't worked a full week this YEAR.

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  8. The sick kid conundrum is the worst. Especially when you burn all your PTO on sick kid days and have none left for sick Mommy days! Praying for health for all four of you! ❤️

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  9. The absolute WORST! I hope this is all out of your systems now so that everyone can be operating at 100% by the time baby boy comes! (which is so crazy soon- ack!)

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  10. Oh no - I'm sorry to hear that R was so sick. Poor kiddo. And I completely understand and sympathize with the working mom & sick kid combo. I am so grateful that my mom is close by to help out too. I feel bad foisting the sickos off on her day after day but if I took PTO every time they were sick I'd be out the entire winter! I finally had the sad realization this year that I cannot book my entire PTO to actual vacation like I did in my carefree youth... MUST save some days for sick kid emergencies.

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    1. Yes, it's really a bummer and so hard to work around! It's just not something I thought of before I was a working mom, but RESPECT for all the working moms out there who deal with this. It's tough.

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  11. I'm so sorry you had a rough week, but really glad that R is feeling better. Thank goodness for mother in laws who live close by! Hoping everyone stays healthy until your "summer break". I feel like I have senioritis at work!

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  12. I'm so sorry to hear you all had such a tough week. I'm glad R is feeling better and hope you are on the mend soon.

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  13. You hit the nail on the head with the hardest part of being a working mom. Glad you guys are on the upswing!

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  14. I've wondered that too, especially since our school district waits until the last minute to make the robocall that school is canceled. Like at 5 am. No difference to us, but what if we both worked?? I wonder that every time.

    Also, you'll be fine. In my experience, things work out because they have to. I've felt overwhelmed plenty of times with whatever number of kids I have. You have more and it's easier in some ways and harder in other ways. (I'm talking like, after the first 6 months. Having a newborn is totally overwhelming no matter what and I don't think you can get around that.)

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  15. Look at all those teeth in that smile! Love it!!! Glad that R is returning to herself. Sick kiddos are the worst because all you want to do is take the pain away. I know that when Z starts daycare in August, I will probably be out of the office a lot for various illnesses with her and I cant even imagine how hard that is going to be. Lack of sleep and worrying doesn't make for an easy work day. Working mom = super mom!

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  16. Oh poor baby (and poor momma and daddy!)! HFM is no fun at all! We were on vacation with friends a couple of years ago when their little girl got it right in the middle of our vacation. It was so rough! I'm so so so glad to hear that R is feeling so much better!

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  17. Bless you heart, girl! Daaaaang! You ever see that nyquil commercial about how Mom's never get sick days or something like that? I mean seriously... it's not fair. I'm glad that R is feeling better and I'm super glad that your MIL was able to help out with child care! When I was working and a "single" parent.. it was so tough to figure out those types of situations that arose. Try not to think about the "how" adjusting to two kids will be, because it will just come together and you'll never know the difference. I know, easier said than done... but I've been there. You know how much I had going on and how stressed I was. I worried non stop about what the heck I was going to do with two kids.... but I'm still alive! Ha! ;) I hope you feel better soon!

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