Quoting Love


“It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”

Someone recently asked me what I thought about this well-known phrase. Is it complete crap? Is there a ring of truth? On the one hand, I think obviously it is better to have loved. Love is magical and romantic and cute and all those other terms we use to define a concept that is, largely, indefinable. Yet on the other hand, obviously it is better to have never loved. It sucks to lose something that means so much. Heartache is never something that anyone asks for or desires. And, as anyone who has lost would agree, the empty feeling is only more noticeable once that person actually is gone.

So which is better? It’s a tough question. But for the sake of this post and the fact that I don’t want to be that person who is asked a question and doesn't provide an answer, I’ve come to a conclusion.

Yes, it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Now, I will admit that true, devastating heartbreak has never actually come my way—at least, not in the worldly, romantic definition of the word—so I reserve the right to change my mind later. But for now, I will simply say that if I were someday to have loved and lost, it’s the fact that I was loved and did love that will matter.

I wouldn’t trade having a mother and father who love me now just because I know that some day they will be gone from my life. I wouldn’t trade loving someone in a romantic way now because of the possibility of not being together in the future is real and scary.

Life is full of experiences and opportunities for growth and learning. I make choices and try to do the best I can to follow God’s will and be a strong example of Christ’s love for others. Bad things have happened and will continue to happen throughout my life, but in all these things is an opportunity for me to learn and grow and experience—and love.

If I never do something, I won’t ever do anything. Likewise, if I never love, I will never be loved, and I will never experience love. Life, at least a joyful one, does not exist without love. And not just romantic love, but the love of a parent, brother, sister, grandmother, friend, etc. These are the relationships that make living worthwhile. Would I prefer to have never had these interactions? Of course not, because, in the end, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
kimdu said...

Amanda, you are amazing! I stumbled onto your blogsite and have been "catching up" for better than an hour. You are right, when you say it is better to love and lose rather than never to love..... God is very kind even in the ugly parts of life.... He provided memories and they are most always, important and good. Lessons this side of Heaven are to contrast perfectness in Heaven.....never alone, always loved and the "yet to comes". I enjoy your blog, hope I didn't intrude. km

Amanda said...

Thanks for commenting, Aunt Kim! Definitely not an intrusion. Yes, God is kind, and there are many "yet to comes." Love you!