How to Avoid Hitches When You're Gettin' Hitched


Jordan and I at the rehearsal dinner on Friday night
In the days to come (maybe weeks depending on how detailed I want [or you want me] to get), I will be posting pictures, sharing stories, and otherwise delighting you with tales from my wedding day. 

But let me just say that basically, it was perfect. My wedding vision came true in every detail, and I spent the entire day feeling so very blessed by the friends and family who came to celebrate with us, some of whom traveled thousands of miles. 
People always say that you should expect things to go wrong--after all, nothing can be completely right. And yes, there were a few slight mishaps, but overall I can't say there were any major catastrophes. 

This happened for six main reasons (in no particular order):

My mother. Unfortunately, you can't all have as awesome of a mother as me, but the point is that you need to find someone to plan the wedding with--someone who's a great organizer and who doesn't mind talking to a lot of different people and asking what might be perceived as a stupid question. Asking potentially stupid questions will allow you to cover all your bases and know what you're in for in any given situation. This is reason #1 why my wedding was such a success. (Note: I say the wedding was a success; ask someone who was there and they might disagree, but I think any average human would say the same as I do.)

My friends. Even though you can't pick your mother, you can pick your friends, so choose wisely. These people will be the ones to carry you through the weekend and make it fun or...not fun. These people will dance with you (or, in my case, get Jordan to dance, which is an amazing miracle), laugh with you, take pictures throughout the weekend, and celebrate with you, which will make you feel special and loved. Bonus: if you pick good-looking friends, all your pictures will look twice as awesome. 

My family. Besides my mom--who, as I said, was insanely helpful--my dad, sister, and brothers were so great as well. When my mom needed advice, they were the ones she turned to. When something needed to be done, they did it with smiles on their faces. I am so happy to have had Sarah, Daniel, and Austin as part of the wedding party, and I am so thankful to have them in my life. They make things fun, and I had no worries about the reception being a good time if they were there.

A few chosen helpers. Mine were my three aunts and my mom's longtime friend Ann (who was my mom's maid of honor circa 1982). But whether or not you have aunts and a childhood family friend isn't the point. Find at least three (four if you can) intelligent, competent people who are creative, helpful, and not afraid to give and/or take directions when necessary. These people can be given tasks, and you can depend on them to follow through exactly. For my mom and I, these people were lifesavers. My aunt Mindy helped design the table centerpiece arrangements back when we were in the planning phase. Aunts Kim, Kathy, and Mindy all threw me a bridal shower in Illinois, and all three were at the reception hall early in the morning on Saturday to get things set up. Ann was invaluable during the reception itself, telling people when it was their turn to get food; and because I had given her a copy of the reception itinerary (times for dances, tosses, cake cutting, etc.), she was able to make sure the DJ stayed on schedule. 

This book: The Knot Book of Wedding Lists. By the end of it all, Jordan was sick and tired of hearing about what "the book" said. But really, this thing was a lifesaver. It had all sorts of handy tips and lists of weird things that I might not have thought of on my own. As a rule, I don't like buying books like this, but it was extremely helpful to me, and I'd definitely recommend it.

My ability to keep secrets. After an initial blowup way back in the beginning of our engagement, I decided it would be a better idea if I didn't tell Jordan anything. Not prices, not colors, not table settings--nothing unless it directly involved him or he specifically asked. Looking back, I can see that this was a fantastic choice. That way, on the day of the wedding, there really wasn't much extra to be nervous about (for him), because he didn't know what to expect. At the reception, he kept saying things like, "I didn't know it was going to be like that..." When asked if he would have wanted to know, he said it was better he didn't. (Things like the head table being at the front of the room on a raised platform or the church decorations.) And really, it wasn't necessary that he know. It isn't that it was all a secret per say, but I think just keeping wedding details on a need-to-know basis helped out in the end because there weren't a lot of people who knew how it was "supposed" to go, so no one knew if things went wrong. 

So there it is. So many people contributed to my day being special, beautiful, and going off without any (major) hitches. I tried to stay "in the moment" as much as possible, and the superior planning of my mom and I, along with the helpful recommendations of friends for photographers, cake bakers, and florists, led to a fun, relaxing day.

I will definitely be posting more soon, but if you have any specific questions or things you for sure want me to write about, let me know either in a comment or email.

Note: Again, you can't completely avoid hitches, but taking preventative measures in the form of solid planning and competent helpers is a must.
Anonymous said...

YOU'RE BACK! YAAAAY!!!! I cannot WAIT to talk to you, I've miiiiiissed you! You better be on Gchat on Monday.


PS The wedding was awesome. There were a few minor things that seemed unusual to me but nothing big that was in a very obvious way NOT supposed to happen (except for the slide show shorting out for a minute or two, but like I said - nothing BIG).