Going After My Dream Job


Day 20 | Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

I almost didn't write this one because I couldn't decide what to focus on. I feel like I'm full of struggles right now, and although I try my best to be positive, some days I do better than others at not completely freaking out.

I think the thing I am struggling most with right now is with my career path. If you've been around for a while, you know that going on 3 months ago, I lost my job. It's a long story and slightly too personal to share on this blog, but I will say that I'm still not entirely sure why I lost my job. I've lost sleep thinking about it, though. 

As a driven, dedicated, type-A individual, getting let go from my job was a huge shot to my self-esteem and caused me to question my work ethic (which is excellent, by the way) and wonder just what the heck I'm even doing with my life. 

I decided to use my forced retirement to see if I could actually pursue my dream job: freelance editing.

Come to find out, networking for this kind of thing is even harder than I thought it would be. And seeing as how I thought it would be really hard, the fact that it's even harder than really hard has thrown me for a loop.

I did spend time trying to find a full-time job, but recently I've cut back on that slightly to see if I can network and find editing clients. Because I love editing. LOVE IT. And I'm really good. I have real-life authors who can back that up, so it's not just me saying that. (And before you're like "well I found a typo on your blog, so you can't be that good" let me just say that self-editing is a whole different monster than editing someone else's work. I try to get them all, but I'm not perfect.)

The problem is, I can't just tell my electric bill that I'm a great editor and call it even. My apartment office won't take an IOU for rent.

Jordan and I have a great budget in place, and we're currently debt free (HOLLER!), but we're not those people who can make it on just one income, so I need to be bringing in money. I'm struggling with knowing what I should do and whether or not I should be pursing this editing thing at all, and I struggle with NOT STRESSING OUT about it. 

I am a worrier. I didn't think I was, maybe because I hoped I wasn't. But it turns out I'm the worry wart, and Jordan's the optimistic one in our marriage. I think we're both surprised about that.

Anyway, I don't have an answer to any of this yet, obviously. I'm in the middle of it, and just like my letter to my newlywed self I wrote last week, I wonder what future me would write in a letter to myself right now. I would definitely tell myself to stop worrying, but we all know that's easier said than done.

Yesterday at church we sang the classic hymn "It Is Well With My Soul," and I had to ask myself if it really IS well with my soul. I want it to be. So much. I want to have peace no matter what, and I want to be joyful and thankful for what I have instead of thinking about all that I don't have.

So.... yeah. I don't know how to end this except to add a shameless plug for myself. If you need editing for a book you're writing or you know someone who's looking for an editor, you can send them to my website, where I have my fees listed as well as a blog where I post writing and editing tips (like how to correctly use apostrophes--HUGE pet peeve of mine). You can also follow @amanda_editor on twitter.

Anonymous said...

I am in the same boat as you right now. I am searching for a job and trying to figure out what I want to do in life and where God wants me to be. I feel lost, but am confident that I am where I should be right now. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Michelle said...

You can do it! Keep believing in yourself. I know that we are all rooting for you. :)

Allison said...

That is such a beautiful hymn, and one that I have used to calm my own anxieties more than a few times. I can sympathize with this kind of struggle. I truly hope that opportunities arise for you to make your dream job work!

Britt and Hive said...

Love your honesty.

As somebody who is unable to have a real job out of the house - I am right there with you girl.

Trying to actively chase my passion and purpose - you know the one I actually want to do.

Thanks for sharing, It brings me a sense of peace.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness!! I will have you in my prayers as you continue to figure the next steps of your life out. I (of course) know it will all work out and man... I'm gonna keep using you for editing, so there! ;) It was nice, as always with your blog, to read something so real and honest. You are great at that and for making me feel more human for my down in the dumps moments. At least we have our humor! And cute hubbies. And blog friends.

Curly Pink Runner said...

I love, love, love your honesty and authenticity. This world needs REAL.

I took a leap of faith to pursue my dream job.....it's a waiting game at this point. In the meantime, I'm grateful that someone else shares my obsession with the appropriate usage of apostrophes.
I will be praying for you, dear Amanda that our precious Heavenly Father will lead and guide and provide exactly what your HEART and your checkbook need.

Anonymous said...

guuuuurrrrlll you have an awesome plan. Right now just sucks and its hard and you are definitely allowed to breakdown and bawl your eyes every so often....lord knows I did...

my motto going through everything was just that it will happen when it is supposed to happen. I know that in the times of freak outs that does not bring any sort of comfort.

I could seriously talk with you for pages on this but that might be a weird blog comment. And you would probably judge all of my spelling errors. haha.

This may be weird but if you ever wanna skype or whatevs I'm here? haha I swear not for creepy happenings and I can try not to be super awkward haha. ok this comment is just getting weird, I will stop now.

LeAnna said...

I need a refresher course on how to use apostrophe's. And semi colons. But mostly apostrophe's. Will you teach my children English when the time comes? If I can get you to teach english, and B to teach math that will leave me with baking. I can teach my children how to bake. Oh, and read. You can't bake if you can't read...

We should discuss this sometime. Apostrophe's, not baking.


Nicole said...

Sadly I'm in the same boat you are. I was just recently released from my job duties as well and there was no reason. In fact they just kept saying we're not going there. Doesn't really give me the closure. So I wish I could give you advice, but I'm sitting in the same boat. Hopefully you find your paddle!!

Brandi said...

I can relate in ways and I applaud you for getting out there and giving it a go! I hope good things are coming your way soon!