How to Act Like a Lady


As Father's Day 2013 approaches and brings with it the inevitable heat of 100+ temperatures we here in Oklahoma have been dreading, I can't help but think about my dad.

He's taught me a lot over the past 26 years but nothing quite so helpful as the following two pieces of advice concerning how to act like a lady:

1. Don't smack while chewing.

I had a terrible time curbing this habit while growing up, so much so that my brothers called me Camel for a while. And they weren't too far off. It was pretty bad. 

I still smack from time to time, but that's usually only when I'm indulging in a delicious treat that needs to be inhaled quickly lest there be no leftovers available for a second helping. 

I'm mostly talking about cupcakes.

2. Always sit with your legs together.

I can't tell you how many times my dad would get on to me about sitting on the couch or the floor with my legs splayed all over the place. This mostly angered him when I was wearing shorts. Sadly, this is something I'm still working on. But seriously. It's just SO much more comfortable than sitting with my legs together or crossed, which I hate to do because of an article I read one time about how crossing your legs leads to increased spider veins when you're older. 

You can't see me, but just uncrossed my legs.

Yes, I'm a hypochondriac who believes everything I read. If it's on the internet, it must be true! Amen.

My dad is pretty great, and I'm blessed to have such an amazing family. But I am especially thankful to have a father who concerned himself with insignificant details like smacking and sitting in order to help his daughter act like a lady. 

It wasn't annoying at all.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

Your Favorite Oldest Daughter
Cotton and Boots said...

This cracked me up and I found myself sitting with my legs apart, and forced them together.

As for the smacking, I'm guilty as well, especially with cupcakes. They're my weakness.

Anonymous said...

Being a lady is hard! haha If it's comfortable, it's against the rules. But that's why we eventually grow up, get our own homes, & sit any damn way we please! (Unless we're in public, & then we're grateful for Daddy's advice) ~Lauren

Kristen said...

And this is why my parents always bought me scorts (sp?) I was going to sit anyway I pleased! Does crossing my ankles but having the rest of my legs not touch count? lol

Geoff Reese said...

And a lady you have become. Thank you. I love you too.