How to Support Working Moms

2.08.2017

image via Death to the Stock Photo
“As a stay-at-home mom, how can I support working moms?”

This was a question that was asked on the blog survey I did last year, and it is really thoughtful that someone would ask this. It's easy to feel so alone as a working mom. A few weeks ago I was feeling really sad about being at work and missing R, and I looked on Instagram (first mistake) and literally saw four pictures in a row of SAHMs snuggling their babies or playing with their kids. Cue me texting Jordan six sad crying faces.

The topic of being a working mom or a stay-at-home mom can be a very touchy thing, so I’ve gone back and forth about how to word this post so it doesn’t come across as offensive or whiny or anything like that.


I should say first that I know that my experience will not be everyone’s experience. 

Some people don’t struggle with working, so they might not even feel like they need support at all. (Although I would say that’s not true because we all need support!) But I will say that for me, working full time outside the home and being a mom is very challenging, and I personally don’t feel like there are many people writing or talking about it.

Not to imply that mine is the only voice or even that everything I say applies across the board for all working moms. Certainly it doesn’t, and I know that. But hopefully those of you reading who are working moms can relate to some of what I write and feel not so alone in the daily rush of our various roles inside and outside the home. And I hope this post in particular will offer some insight into ways those of you who are not working moms can support and validate the struggles of those of us who are.


1. Remember that working moms make sacrifices too.

I’ve seen and heard this sentiment expressed before, and I personally find it incredibly hurtful. It’s the idea that stay-at-home moms have made so many sacrifices to quit their jobs and live off one income, and if working moms just made a few of those sacrifices too, we could stay at home if we really wanted to. It is true that some moms choose to work because they want to not because they necessarily need to, and that's completely fine and great! But it is not true for everyone.

I know that living off one income is a huge sacrifice, but just because my family has two incomes does not mean we are not making sacrifices too. There are a lot of articles and blog posts out there about “how we cut our budget to afford for me to stay at home” and believe me: I’ve read them, and so far I haven’t found a single one that tells me something I’m not already doing. We don't have cable, we don't buy expensive things, we rarely eat out. I’m making financial sacrifices too, including paying the expensive cost of daycare. And I’m also making the sacrifice of time with my child, which is for me the hardest sacrifice of them all. To assume or imply that I could stay home with my kids if I tried harder to make financial sacrifices is really just rude and insensitive. All moms, working or not, are making the best decision they can for themselves and their families, and it's not for anyone else to say.

2. Be a friend.

When someone is listing out the benefits of being a working mom, they almost always talk about how nice it is to have “adult conversations.” Usually this is in contrast to a SAHM mom, whose daily interactions are primarily happening with toddlers/young children. And yes, it is nice to get out of the house and talk to other adults, but sometimes I feel like people act like I’m just sitting around having coffee with friends or something. I do like my coworkers, and there are a few I would consider work friends, but for the most part we are all talking about work stuff. I’m not going on walks with my besties, laughing and crying together while we share our fears and struggles. I still need friends I can talk to on the phone or text or go to dinner with or meet for coffee. 

When you stay at home, you can schedule playdates and meet at the park and go to the zoo or whatever else, and you can see friends. Now, obviously I’m not saying that you have time for a long, quiet heart-to-heart, and I know these playdates don't happen every day, but what I’m saying is that working moms need community too. 

Yes, we are out of the house and in the community at work, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still need friend time. I pull out of my garage in the morning when it’s dark, and I pull into my garage in the evening when it’s dark. Between those hours I’ve been at work thinking about work and doing work (and thinking about R, let's be honest). My work conversations with adults are not fulfilling my need for relationships, and it’s easy to feel left out of all the mom events and playdates and library reading times that get planned during the work week.

A few weeks ago after R was in bed, I drove over to a friend's house and we sat on her couch and ate ice cream and talked for an hour, and then I went home. It was so nice to sit with a friend and talk, and it didn't require paying to eat out or getting out of my sweats. I also have a few friends that I text with throughout the week, and that has been a blessing to me (you know who you are!). I don't want someone to assume that just because I work full time I am too busy to also have friends.

3. Validate my particular challenge of being a working mom.

So this one is kind of a personal “trigger,” for lack of a better word. It’s when I share with someone that being a working mom is hard for me, and they respond with: “Yes, motherhood in general is hard whether you work or stay at home.” 

Now, of course this is 100% true. Motherhood is hard no matter what. But what I’m talking about specifically in this moment is how hard it is to be a working mom. I’m not saying being a SAHM isn’t hard too, and I’m not saying motherhood isn’t hard, but when I’m sharing something and my struggle is brushed aside and blanketed with “well motherhood is just hard,” that makes me upset.

What would be more helpful is if the reply was more along the lines of, “I’m sure that must be really hard. I’m sorry. What in particular are you finding the most challenging right now?”

It’s like if a SAHM said to me, “Being a SAHM is hard,” and I said, “Motherhood is really hard.” I'm not saying anything that's untrue, but I’m also not really listening to them if I reply like that. What I should try to do instead is ask questions, listen, and validate their personal experience even if it’s not something I can totally understand. Because if I'm being really honest here, sometimes I do wonder what is so hard about being a SAHM compared to what I do as a full-time working mom. I see people posting about staying in their pjs all day, baking cookies with their toddler and watching movies and playing at the park in the middle of the afternoon. And it's easy for me to feel jealous, but I don't think that cutting all SAHMs out of my life is the answer. Talking to someone and trying to understand their own struggles and supporting them in that as a friend is better than getting all bitter and angry, as much as I just love feeling bitter and angry. It's good for your skin. I think I read that somewhere.

Thinking about all of this has opened my eyes personally to try and be more intentional about validating what someone is telling me and really trying to listen, whether that’s to do with motherhood, career, dating, marriage, etc. We all are going through different things, and sometimes those things need their own space to be recognized for the specific struggles they are.

Some people don't struggle with being a working mom, some do. Some don't struggle with staying at home, some do. Same for working from home or working part time. Each is completely valid, and no one has the perfect life. We all need space to share and find support and be understood, in whatever circumstance we find ourselves. This is not something I've mastered, but it's something I'm trying to work on.

Do you have anything follow-up questions for me? Shoot me an email or leave a comment.

If you’re a working mom, do you agree with what I wrote? What would you add? If you’re a SAHM, what can working moms do to support you?

41 comments:

  1. I obviously have zero experience with neither, but I do admire and appreciate your ability to be vulnerable and start the conversation. And this comment has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but the way you talk about R and how much you love being her mom is one of the most refreshing things for me to read. I, unfortunately, seem to be surrounded mostly by people who cannot seem to say anything positive about their roles as parents. It scares me. I makes me wonder what in the world I've gotten myself into. I read about your weekends and how you just soak up your time with that little peanut, obviously enjoying every single bit of it...and it gives me hope.

    So thanks friend. I will hop in on this conversation in about oh, 9 more months? Eeep.

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    1. That is really so sweet of you to say. Thanks, friend :) That is unfortunate that you get that impression from some people you know. I will say that probably the ages of the kids makes a difference. I'm sure grumpy teenagers aren't quite as fun to be around as cute, snuggly babies/toddlers. But yes I do love being a mom so much and I KNOW you will too. Your sweet baby is lucky to have you!

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  2. I absolutely love this post! I had my 1st child about 5 months ago and I am struggling with the desire to go back to work. I am finishing up graduate school and would love to find work in my field but I am scared that I will be sacrificing time with my daughter but at the same time I want to fulfill goals for myself. I love one particular line in this post and that is that no one has a perfect life, it's so true. We are all doing what we can to live good lives and it doesn't have to be perfect.

    I'm a new reader and I am loving your blog!

    -Jen @ Marathons and Dog Tags (kyleandjensmith.blogspot.com)

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    1. Hi, Jen! Thanks for the comment :) We are all doing the very best we can. You are so right about that. I know the struggle and hope you find a balance that works the best for you and for your family. I will say that being away from R so much during the week really makes our time together extra special on the weekends and evenings. There are also a lot of great things about having her in daycare that she wouldn't necessarily get if she were just home with me.

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  3. Having done both, I can definitively say that being a SAHM is 10x easier than being a working mom. I don't say that to make you feel worse. I'm saying it because it's true and anyone who says otherwise is likely a martyr or a jerk. Lol

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    1. I'm sure that having done both, you have an interesting perspective on this than maybe someone who's only done one or the other :) I'm glad you are enjoying being at home with your cute boys, Kaity!

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    2. I have also done both, and for me being the working mom was easier. That being said, there is not an "easier" for everyone, which I think is what you were getting at. We all have different personalities, hopes, dreams, and expectations. Some of these are realized by what we currently do, so we feel it is "better or easier". When they are not met, that is where the struggle is at, no matter your situation. We all want a sense of community where we belong, we want friends who are supportive, we want our thoughts and feelings to be validated, no matter our current role or situation. When we can reach that place of trying to truly understand and appreciate each other, perhaps all the silly "Mom-wars" can end.

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    3. Thanks so much for the comment, Laurie. I totally agree that working might be easier for some and staying at home harder for others. I'm sure a lot of that depends on the job, the ages of kids, and just the different personalities of the individual people, like you mentioned. For me, it doesn't seem like there are many people talking about being a working mom and the challenges of it, and while those might not be the same challenges for everyone, I think it is good to start a conversation where others can learn. And I've gotten some great feedback that lets me know there are others who feel very similar to how I feel about working! I do think there needs to be more understanding on both sides and that can go a long way.

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    4. Hey The Lady Okie, I did not word my response well as I was replying to two different thoughts, but mashed into one paragraph. To you, Lady Okie, I think you were kind and compassionate as you brought up this topic and shared your point of view. I agree with your ideas of how to be supportive of each other on this life journey because, as I said, I think all of us want to feel like we belong, with supportive friends, and to have our thoughts and feelings validated. Well done.

      I was hurt by Kaity's comment, "it's true and anyone who says otherwise is likely a martyr or a jerk. Lol". It is comments like these that I feel fuel the flame of the mommy-wars. Kaity is an authority on Kaity, and that is her experience, which is fine. However, those of us who feel differently (based on our own life experiences/perspectives) are not automatically "martyrs" or "jerks". We have to get away from making sweeping judgments and personal attacks on each other when our experiences differ. This is where the validation comes in, as The Lady Okie mentioned. When we hear someone talk about feelings/thoughts/experiences different from our own, wouldn't it be lovely if we could start from a place of curiosity and desire to understand? (Like an "Oh, I hadn't thought about it that way, tell me more" type of interaction you suggested.) Please, let us help each other along instead of flinging insults.

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    5. I don't know Kaity personally, but we have been reading each other's blogs for a while and had an email exchange about this post. I know that's not quite how she meant it to come out, but I understand how the wording would appear hurtful. This is such a touchy subject because everyone feels so personally about their own situation (as they should) and it is (I admit) very easy to think that the other side has it so much better. When I start feeling jealous is when I find that I have a hard time being compassionate and I just end up thinking or saying something rude. I'm working on it :)

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  4. Thanks for sharing! I definitely see where you're coming from as a full-time working mom. I love getting to hear about the different experiences of moms and I think we all need to be more sensitive and supportive of each other's struggles. I'm sorry for your struggle! Praying that the times with R at home are extra sweet!

    I've actually thought about writing about my own experience as a SAH/working mom. I work 30 hours a week, one 11-hour day in the office and the rest from home, and it has been stretching and so difficult but, like you said about sacrifices, this is a sacrifice (although also a privilege to be able to work from home)and we are just unable to live off one income at this time (although to be truthful it's not the income but insurance--a rant for another time). I'm hoping to share my own experience soon, not to just vent but to find some help and support from other work from home and working moms about how to juggle work and parenting.

    I also agree that social media isn't helpful about this. I haven't actually thought about the pictures I get to post from home that might make other moms envious (something I should be aware of) but I have the same struggle at seeing other moms taking their babies to the park and the zoo and play dates. I rarely get those opportunities with trying to juggle working from home but am trying to make some of them a bigger priority. Since my LO doesn't go to daycare, she doesn't get to socialize with other kids much so play dates when you are at home with them are really important.

    Anyway, great post! Thanks again for sharing. I'll let you know if I end up posting anything about working from home.

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    1. Thanks for sharing! And yes, I'd love to read your post if you write it. I know there are all different types of the working/motherhood balance going on that we can be aware of. Girl, I will rant with you about insurance all day long. We are in a similar boat, although it is about income but ALSO largely about insurance as well, so I can relate. I actually think trying to juggle working from home would be very difficult! I find it hard to do anything on the computer when I'm with R because she is so busy and wants to sit in my lap and tap all the keys and move the mouse around, so I am very impressed by what you do as a work-from-home mama :) As for social media, I just decided to not look at Instagram during the work day and that seems to be helping.

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  5. I agree with you on validation. It does seem like the canned response to any kind of SAHM/working mom comment is something along the lines of "motherhood is hard for everyone". A little validation and acknowledgement of each particular situation goes a LONG way, and I'll keep that in mind more often. I know your situation is very difficult for you (I have no doubt I would feel the same!), but I'm really glad you can use your experience to encourage others in your shoes.

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    1. I do hope I can be an encouragement. I feel like writing about it is an effort to encourage myself as well. I find working and being away from R so much to be very hard, and even harder than actually DOING it sometimes is the emotional aspect. As a Christian I don't want to be jealous toward SHAMs, and I find it hard to do sometimes. It maybe isn't going to be something I'm ever "over" but I'm trying to be more active in taking my thoughts captive and also realizing what things will trigger my jealousy and maybe unfollowing or choosing to skip over those posts instead of reading them and feeding into it in my own mind.

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  6. I think I've said this before, but I find your posts about being a working mom SO valuable - as you point out, there aren't a lot of blogs out there that address this (and the number of blogs written by working moms who work outside the home rather than from home is even smaller). I fully expect to be a working mom one day, so thank you for helping me prepare for the challenges I might face by sharing you own. I so appreciate it!

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    1. Thanks so much, Betsy. I always appreciate and value your opinion. :) I have no doubt that you will be a fantastic mom one day!

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  7. i love your honesty on this subject because this will be my reality once my maternity leave is over. [i'm already dreading going back to work, and i still have 4ish months to go before i (we!) give birth. goodness.] truth be told, i have always had a distorted view of stay at home moms.i always wondered, what do you do all day?! but now that i'm older and have a couple friends who stay at home with their kids, i see that my view was wrong.

    that doesn't mean that i'm not sliiiiightly jealous though. i have another friend who is due a month after we are. she will be a SAHM, and every time she mentions it, i have to remind myself not to say something rude.

    i have already started praying for God to work on my heart in this area. i'm definitely gonna need it. :)

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  8. As always, you nailed this topic. Nadine and I were just talking about this this morning, as I was looking for activities to do with the kiddo on the weekend, and almost ALL of the events for kids are tailored for during the week. You are a lot more eloquent that I am, but I do find it frustrating to scroll the social media and see people at home snuggling their babies while I'm at work. Thanks for always bringing this topic to the forefront! You're a rock star. :)

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  9. I 100% co-write everything you said!!! Chris and I have talked several times about what it would take for me to stay home and the only way would be for him to make more money and me take on some work from home things. I've read all the posts on how others do it and it just isn't feasible for us either. And I feel like sacrificing time from my kid is the biggest sacrifice of all. But as you have stated, SAHMs have their own challenges and sarifices as well and I wish that we could all just support each other and be there. Well said friend, well said!

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  10. Thankful to have another working mama putting all our struggles and thoughts into words. This is tough stuff, and it does feel really freaking lonely sometimes. I wish we lived closer and could have monthly working mama hang outs in the living room after our kids are in bed!

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    1. Yes that would be so great! :) You are doing an awesome job. I hope your daycare struggles get better soon, friend.

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  11. Wonderfully put Amanda. I hope you know how much I appreciate your wisdom and ability to open up about this topic. Although I am not in the phase of life yet, it is such a comfort to know I have someone to seek counsel from. I know I am not alone in saying this, but thank you for bringing up these conversations.

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  12. So, it's been forever since I've stopped by - love what you've done with the place :)

    I'm also a working mom but unlike many posts that I've seen - I do not want to be a SAHM. And it makes me feel like a terrible parent. Like, what's wrong with me that I don't want to be at home with my child, or that I am not interested in the idea of home-schooling, or that I don't post about how much I'm missing my child and wish I was with them instead of work on social media throughout the day?

    And so, I don't say it much. Because what I see and feel is that I'm in the wrong (or maybe more in the minority.) That the goal of all working parents is to make enough to stay at home. Because they've got the good life. And I'm supposed to be miserable from 8-5, Monday through Friday, because I am mother and of course, all I should want is to be is a mom at all times.

    I certainly acknowledge the sacrifices from all parties - SAHMs or working moms or those who do both - it's all so subjective and personal. What works for one family doesn't work for another and finding that balance of being the best person, the best parent, the best you that you can be for not only yourself but your family is f*cking hard. And so I think it's great that you're starting this conversation!

    I also really think your point about validation of what you're feeling at a particular time is so important and that can be taken across the board for everything. My job is not physically demanding but it can be very exhausting depending on the time of year (Higher Education, yo) and when I voice that I've had people almost compete with it (ahem *husband* ahem) because their job is physically harder than mine. And it's like, Look, I get it, I do but please just tell me your sorry it sucks. That's all I need. Lol.

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    1. Also, I feel like I should point out that I super duper love being a mom and my daughter is the best kid ever - but I'm not the best mom when I'm exclusively a mom 24/7 to her. By exclusively I mean, no time to myself (I understand that can sound selfish to others) and that could mean 10 minutes to poop peacefully, or 3 hours to read a book without interruption, or maybe an 8 hour workday where I feel wanted instead of just being needed. I struggled with postpartum after Lillie and in retrospect I can see that in my particular situation, I felt like I was losing myself and couln't figure out how to be Tamara the Person and Tamara the Mom peacefully. I've learned a lot about myself since then and have become a damn good parent because of it.
      I feel like I just spewed word vomit everywhere. It's been a while since I've written anything :)

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    2. First of all Hiiiiiiii :)

      Okay. So, I actually personally seem to know a good number of people who seem fine with working. I have a friend who says that she is happy to be at work and feels like working makes her a better parent. Honestly, I think it's AWESOME that you don't feel some of the struggle I do and that absolutely doesn't make you a bad mother. Not one bit! I know how much you love your little girl. It's encouraging to me to know that there are moms who don't struggle with it. It gives me hope that maybe I'll get there too.

      And the thing is, I'm not at all miserable! I don't have a lot to complain about and I feel bad for not being thankful more than I am. I'm really trying to work on it. Because I like my job a lot and feel fulfilled by it and enjoy what I'm doing and my coworkers. I've had a job where I cried drive to work every day because I hated it, and that is not what I have now.

      What I've found is that it's so important to just listen to others and validate where they are and what they are feeling. I really can completely relate to what you said about not necessarily having a physically demanding job that can still be exhausting. We just finished up a huge project and it was SUPER stressful and a lot of work and I was very tired at the end of the day.

      Thanks for sharing, and I'm sorry that you sometimes feel guilty for not feeling bad about working. There is nothing wrong with you and you're doing a great job and you're an awesome mom :)

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    3. Also I wish you wrote more things! :)

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  13. Thanks for sharing this! I'm sorry for your struggles. It sounds really hard! I haven't had experience but someday when I am a mom, I will likely work too. I feel like I will have similar feelings to you at that time.

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  14. I know you struggle with all these things but I'm really proud of you because you do a really great job. I think it is okay to say your feelings and just have someone listen and be okay with that. We all need to do that at times, no matter what stage of life we are in.

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  15. I wish I had some words of wisdom or could bring you some ice cream, but I will just send you love and tell you that you are doing an amazing job. Having a friend that you can just sit on the couch and hang out with for an hour in your pajamas is a really special thing and I hope that you get to do that more often. Sometimes we just need to feel validated, to vent, and I'm sure that this post has helped more working mamas than you could ever know.

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  16. Working was really hard for me when Raven was young---I felt like I only got to see her for a couple of hours each day (some of which she'd sleep through), and my energy was often so depleted from work that I felt like she wasn't getting the best version of me. For me, that was one of the hardest parts about being a working mom---I feel like it brought out the best and worst in me as a parent. The best, because I was a lot more intentional (much of the time) about how I spent time with her, but the worst, because I felt a lot of guilt that I couldn't be around for more of her milestones and that she didn't get to have me when I was at the peak of my energy/good mood every day.

    And I also got the comment about "Motherhood is just hard, period" SOOOO many times, and I liked what you said about it---yes, it's true for everyone, but working moms have different struggles and different triggers and such than stay-at-home moms.

    For me, the most challenging thing about being a SAHM has been the isolation I sometimes feel. I'm not naturally one to go out and be super social (being an introvert) but I still need that meaningful contact with people, and I'm not always super good at making plans for it to happen. So when we're cooped up inside for long periods of time, it can get very lonely.

    In the end, I think both sides (SAHM vs Working) often have to deal with insensitivity from others--I'm dealing with a totally different kind of insensitivity now that I stay at home versus when the kind I dealt with as a working mom. In the end, I just remind myself that we're all doing the best we can knowing what we know, and to not worry too much about what other people say. (The part about me being kind of unsocial and not getting out much helps with that, ha ha.)

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  17. I have no experience with either, but I do have a lot of friends who have made both decisions. I will definitely keep this in mind when talking to them, and when I have to make the decision for myself someday!

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  18. I think articles which are like "anyone can afford to be a stay-at-home-mom" if they just cut back enough and make enough financial sacrifices are extremely arrogant. That's just not reality for everyone. In some families, the wife is in a much steadier, higher-paying field than the husband is--it wouldn't make sense to take away the heavy-hitter when it comes to incomes. Some single incomes just aren't enough no matter which way you cut it. My friend, whose two kids I and my family take care of, has worked at a shop in the mall, earning about the equivalent of $3 an hour, 6 10-hour days a week, for years. Her husband makes the same working as a maintenance guy at the mall. No, they can't afford to live on one income--sure, Malaysia has a lower cost of living than the USA but it's not THAT low.
    For us, Angel's a medical professional while I'm a language expert/writer/teacher. His wage potential will ALWAYS be way higher than mine. That's just the nature of the fields we picked. He will always work--at various times I may or may not work given our current situation and call in life. Thankfully, because of his degree he's very employable at a living wage no matter where we are in the world. But I recognize that's a huge privilege that not everyone has. Sure, we've made financial sacrifices for our current lifestyle, but we are so privileged to even have the option to make those sacrifices by choice and not out of necessity.
    The primary way I support my working mom friends is by taking care of their kids, making them safe and educated and loved and fed. Encouraging them about their kids, not saying negative things about their children--my one friend is often worried about her daughter's behavior. All she'll hear from me is that I love her daughter, she has amazing kids, they're smart, they have a lot of energy, and it's my joy and privilege to take care of them. She's had enough flak from the rest of her family about her rambunctious kids and whether or not she's raising them the 'right' way.
    Also, there is certainly no love and no value in the never-ending fight of responding to somebody's problem or struggles with the fact that other problems also exist. That's kind of parallel to if I said something like "Miscarriage is hard" and got the response "Well pregnancy in general is hard too!" Agreed. Totally. Just not really what people need to hear in that context.

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  19. Such a tough conversation -- I feel like we never truly know how one another feels until we're in the other person's shoes. I work from home, but I also take care of my daughter full time, which is a challenge that's hard to explain to anyone who's never done it. Being a SAHM/WAHM is lonely and isolating at times, but I can see how working outside of the home could feel the same way since you aren't always able to socialize with other moms and their kids during daytime hours. I will say that most of friends who work outside of the home do so because they want to, so I appreciate your perspective on all of it!

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  20. Thanks, as always, for sharing your perspective. I am sure it is therapeutic to put into words the feelings you have on this subject, and I'm sure it is reassuring and interesting for others to read, regardless of how much their own experience overlaps with yours. I think it's important for moms to have these conversations, be authentic, and support each other, even if we're sometimes jealous, resentful, or just don't fully understand what another mom is feeling. Listening and reminding them that they're doing a great job - regardless of their daytime schedule - can go far. Every situation is unique and it changes as a child gets older too! I wonder if leaving R at school - somewhere she's required to because it's the law and all - in five years will be easier and allow you to enjoy being a working mom a bit more? Or maybe you'll want to homeschool her and it'll never get easier! Who knows. I'm kind of rambling here. But really overall thanks for sharing your thoughts, and I hope this message starts a ripple effect of support that you want/need.

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  21. "Talking to someone and trying to understand their own struggles and supporting them in that as a friend is better than getting all bitter and angry." - You followed this up by talking about how this is true for all relationships with all kinds of things people are sharing and I find that to be so true! I can still be a listening ear even if I don't understand where that person is coming from.

    I've worked from home and I've worked in an office and I know both of those things came with their own challenges, but I've never done either as a mom. So I really can't speak to this subject. But I do appreciate your willingness to open up and share!

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  22. I'm so glad you wrote this, it must have felt so good to publish! Honestly, I am one of those Moms that loves being a working Mom but I think it's because I work at such a family friendly company. I am never nervous if Buel is sick because I can work from home, no question. I am able to work around anything I need to as long as I get my work done, which is amazing. That does sometimes mean late nights and working extra hours, but overall it works. I think for me allowing my two lives to "blend" really helps- maybe I should write a post on that?

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    1. I'm really glad you enjoy being a working mom and hopefully I can continue to move more toward that place. I agree that having a family-friendly workplace can go a LONG way, and I am thankful that my office goes a pretty good job about that. It helps.

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  23. i agree about making sacrifices. i'm always reading things about how we will afford for me to stay home and we don't know if we will be able to swing it. we don't make a lot of money and we already do a lot of the things they say to do - the one thing we are hoping will be the tipping point is we are looking for a house right now and we can afford so much, but we have halved it - so we are looking as if we are only on one income. i'm not saying that to say did you try that?! but like, it's not always possible. if we had not planned ahead and done the calculations, it wouldn't be a possibility. heck, it still might not be. but yeah to imply that any one person makes more or less sacrifices than another is just hurtful.
    i am pretty sure i have said that thing about motherhood being hard no matter what, and i do apologise. sometimes i don't realise what i say might be considered hurtful until someone explains to me why, you know?

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  24. Thank you for writing this. It's definitely a touchy subject, but I think you spoke to it so eloquently. I have to admit, as a full-time working mom, it's refreshing to see someone write about their feelings. I've contemplated writing about it, but had a hard time putting it into words. It's a daily struggle. What I wouldn't give to be home with my LO just a few more hours throughout the week. But, sadly it's not in the cards. Thank you again for sharing. Enjoying your posts!

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    1. Thanks, Crystal. I appreciate the comment and I'm glad to know that this resonated with you!

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