When I started this blog back in May of 2010, I had no idea what to expect. I didn't know how long I would keep it up or what I would write about, and I certainly didn't' know if anyone would read it. Now, almost 3 years later, I'm still writing. Some very important moments have been documented here, along with a few funny anecdotes about married life with Jordan.
I love having all the stories written down--little things I know I wouldn't remember otherwise--and each year I make my blog into a book that I will keep and read and laugh at later when I don't have this blog anymore. I also know that having this creative outlet has been fun for me, but sometimes I have mixed feelings about this blog of mine, and I believe I've discovered a pattern. Because while for the most part I try not to concern myself with followers or comments, sometimes my mind takes over and I start thinking all sorts of crazy things.
This pattern is something I like to call "The 4 Stages of Blogging."
Stage 1: The Initial Post Drafting
The first stage takes a firm stance during the initial drafting of a blog post. It's where I state my undying devotion to my blog and disdain for anyone who doesn't like it.
"I don't care how many followers I have," I say. "This is my blog, and I do what I want. Also, this post is amazing. You're a brilliant writer." Then strut around my apartment for a few minutes before striking a pose like this:
I feel very cool when I do this. I'm sure you can see why.
Then I finish writing my post, edit it, show it to Jordan if I think it contains potentially embarrassing/compromising stories about him that he might want to edit out, and hit publish.
Stage 2: The Unnecessary Exaggeration
Once the initial post is published, unnecessary exaggeration makes an appearance. I would estimate this happens once every 3 or 4 posts, every time I get more than 3 comments from people who aren't my mother or my best friend.
This is when I pat myself on the back and start making ridiculous statements like: "I am so awesome. I have 136 followers and am on my way to 1 MILLION! Everyone loves me. I must clear my schedule because Ellen is going to be calling to schedule an appearance."
I usually strike another pose at this point.
Because it's awesome.
Stage 3: The Return to Reality
After I come down off the high of my barrage of 3 comments, I write a few posts that get 0-1 comments. I start to think: "Um, is this thing on?" This is followed almost immediately by a valiant effort to return to stage 1, where I swear undying devotion to my blog and disdain for anyone who doesn't like it. And anyway, I remind myself, I don't care how many comments I got.
Stage 4: The Confusion
Stage 4 is where it gets interesting. More often than not, my self-doubting stage 3 is followed by random acts of affirmation in the form of people telling me they read my blog. It's always unsolicited and leaves me confused. This has happened to be at church, at work, and through friends of friends. After convincing myself that no one actually does read my blog, I don't quite know how to respond when people tell me they DO read my blog. In a panic, I start going back over all my old posts in my mind. I try to remember what the last post I wrote was. Was it stupid? Does this person think I'm an idiot? Did I have a glaring typo? During this stage I often feel suspicious. They must be lying. They know no one reads my blog. This is just a way to lure me into submission before they kick me in the kneecaps and steal my purse. Yes, that must be it. The most confusing part is when it's a boy telling me they read my blog. For some reason I assume Jordan and my dad are the only boys reading, but this is not at all the case. For all I know, males could make up the majority of my readership. (What up, boys?) Jordan and I were hanging out with a few couples last month, and one of the guys said, "I read your blog all the time." This was my first thought: so you mean you read the post about where I talked about how I organize my underwear drawer? Awkward anyone? And then, after he told me he read my blog, he said, "I would enter your giveaways, but it's always earrings or something." And then another guy said, "Yeah! Give away something for the guys." I said, "Like what?" And they said, "I don't know. Gun ammo or something." Wow.
Apparently there might be an ammo giveaway going on at some point. You can start getting excited about that.
So those are my 4 stages of blogging, mixed with the realization that BOYS read my blog. I am scared of boys. Anyway. Sometimes I'm happy where I am, just rolling along with my regular followers and my witty anecdotes. Other days I wish I had a thousand followers. But one thing I know. Whatever happens, at the end of the day I will always have one thing... ...respect. Ha. No. Not that. My poses, duh. Holler.