The 4 Stages of Blogging

1.07.2013

When I started this blog back in May of 2010, I had no idea what to expect. I didn't know how long I would keep it up or what I would write about, and I certainly didn't' know if anyone would read it. Now, almost 3 years later, I'm still writing. Some very important moments have been documented here, along with a few funny anecdotes about married life with Jordan. 

I love having all the stories written down--little things I know I wouldn't remember otherwise--and each year I make my blog into a book that I will keep and read and laugh at later when I don't have this blog anymore. I also know that having this creative outlet has been fun for me, but sometimes I have mixed feelings about this blog of mine, and I believe I've discovered a pattern. Because while for the most part I try not to concern myself with followers or comments, sometimes my mind takes over and I start thinking all sorts of crazy things. 

This pattern is something I like to call "The 4 Stages of Blogging."

Stage 1: The Initial Post Drafting 

The first stage takes a firm stance during the initial drafting of a blog post. It's where I state my undying devotion to my blog and disdain for anyone who doesn't like it. 

"I don't care how many followers I have," I say. "This is my blog, and I do what I want. Also, this post is amazing. You're a brilliant writer." Then strut around my apartment for a few minutes before striking a pose like this: 
I feel very cool when I do this. I'm sure you can see why.

Then I finish writing my post, edit it, show it to Jordan if I think it contains potentially embarrassing/compromising stories about him that he might want to edit out, and hit publish.

Stage 2: The Unnecessary Exaggeration

Once the initial post is published, unnecessary exaggeration makes an appearance. I would estimate this happens once every 3 or 4 posts, every time I get more than 3 comments from people who aren't my mother or my best friend. 

This is when I pat myself on the back and start making ridiculous statements like: "I am so awesome. I have 136 followers and am on my way to 1 MILLION! Everyone loves me. I must clear my schedule because Ellen is going to be calling to schedule an appearance." 

I usually strike another pose at this point.
Because it's awesome. 

Stage 3: The Return to Reality

After I come down off the high of my barrage of 3 comments, I write a few posts that get 0-1 comments. I start to think: "Um, is this thing on?" This is followed almost immediately by a valiant effort to return to stage 1, where I swear undying devotion to my blog and disdain for anyone who doesn't like it. And anyway, I remind myself, I don't care how many comments I got. 

Stage 4: The Confusion

Stage 4 is where it gets interesting. More often than not, my self-doubting stage 3 is followed by random acts of affirmation in the form of people telling me they read my blog. It's always unsolicited and leaves me confused. This has happened to be at church, at work, and through friends of friends. 


After convincing myself that no one actually does read my blog, I don't quite know how to respond when people tell me they DO read my blog. In a panic, I start going back over all my old posts in my mind. I try to remember what the last post I wrote was. Was it stupid? Does this person think I'm an idiot? Did I have a glaring typo?

During this stage I often feel suspicious. They must be lying. They know no one reads my blog. This is just a way to lure me into submission before they kick me in the kneecaps and steal my purse. Yes, that must be it.

The most confusing part is when it's a boy telling me they read my blog. For some reason I assume Jordan and my dad are the only boys reading, but this is not at all the case. For all I know, males could make up the majority of my readership. (What up, boys?) 

Jordan and I were hanging out with a few couples last month, and one of the guys said, "I read your blog all the time." 

This was my first thought: so you mean you read the post about where I talked about how I organize my underwear drawer? 
Awkward anyone?

And then, after he told me he read my blog, he said, "I would enter your giveaways, but it's always earrings or something."
And then another guy said, "Yeah! Give away something for the guys."
I said, "Like what?"
And they said, "I don't know. Gun ammo or something."
Wow.

Apparently there might be an ammo giveaway going on at some point. You can start getting excited about that.

So those are my 4 stages of blogging, mixed with the realization that BOYS read my blog. I am scared of boys.

Anyway.

Sometimes I'm happy where I am, just rolling along with my regular followers and my witty anecdotes. Other days I wish I had a thousand followers. But one thing I know. Whatever happens, at the end of the day I will always have one thing...

...respect.

Ha. No. Not that.

My poses, duh. Holler.

Ellen, I'll be waiting for your call.

14 comments:

  1. seriously, this is hysterical! You just made my night!

    Carly
    www.lipglossandcrayons.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahahaha! This is all too true! And trust me, unfortunately no matter how many followers you have, it never gets better. It actually gets worse. Haha! I love the ammo giveaway idea. Hilarious. Maybe they would be satisfied by a cabellas gift card or something? Ammo sounds a bit crazy to give away. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh yes, I know this cycle all too well! The thing that always got me was when "catching up" with friends & I have nothing new to offer b/c anytime I tell a story they say "I know, I read it on your blog." But now that I've been out of the game for a while I don't understand why people don't just KNOW my life. Now I have to retell stories more than once. Weird. So I guess I have my own stages of post-blogging. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. You forgot stage 5. Have kids and forget you have a blog.

    GUN AMMO! Hahahahahaha, B would read if I told him there was going to be a giveaway for that. But actually, I tell him about your blog posts all the time. We still laugh about the one where Jordan said he wished you were a dude sometimes so y'all could fight. Must be the secret desire of many men, because that cracked B up. And your Grandpa's tie story still makes us chuckle at inappropriate times. You're making your mark in blog land, never fear. And the poses just seal the deal. Glad we're friends!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awesome post. I love picturing you strutting around your apartment after posting. If you give away ammo, you'll be the blogger with the most varied giveaways. Ha.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Haha, I am cracking up right now! I love it! I'm not sure my husband would read your blog if you were giving away gun ammo. I'm not sure he always reads mine...but I would enter to win the ammo for him and he would think I'm the coolest wife ever. You could help me win some major points.

    AND I wanted to follow up with you about photobooks. I ended up going with mypublisher. It was the same price as iphoto books and had some extra options/perks and I liked their covers better. AND when you download the free software it automatically pulls up all your photos from iphoto so you can just drag in the pictures you want to use into the book. It has been VERY easy to use so far.

    Shutterfly is a little bit cheaper in the base price for the basic book but if you want any "upgrades" (like lay flat pages or a different cover...) shutterfly up-charges a lot making it more expensive in the long run (if you want some of the extras) You also have to upload all the photos you want to use (unless you already have your pictures stored in a shutterfly album or account.

    Anyhow, hope that helps! You should def make a yearly album :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hahahaha - yes! Claire and I were just talking about this last night. When random people you hardly know tell you they read your blog. You're like, "why don't you comment so I know you're reading it?" And then you freak out and go back over what you've posted!

    It was so nice to have met you at the OKC event - I'm excited to be a new follower!

    ReplyDelete
  8. haha love it! and yes, when boys read my blog, i get a little freaked out. so glad we met last night! i'm officially a new follower! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. you are too funny!! i loved this post!

    ReplyDelete
  10. The comes the fifth stage, so common to bloggers. Long periods of no posts, followed by, "I know I should post something but I just can't think of anything to say". Then they quit the blog. You seem to have a passion for writing, so hopefully your blog will continue for a long time.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh my goodness. This was hilarious and so perfect for me right now. I just randomly found your blog through a friend of a friend of a friend and you crack me up. I had no idea other people experienced these stages! I thought it was just me and I can't tell you how relieved I am to discover that I'm not alone!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hahaha. I'm so glad LinkWithin decided to direct me to this post. A whole lot of "oh geeze, me too" was going on over here :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Love this! And side note- I would absolutely enter if you had a giveaway with gun ammo!! An no, not for J, for this lady right here :) I know I'd be up against the boys, but I say "Bring it!"

    ~Katy

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment! I will respond via email and also occasionally in the post thread if you are asking a question that other readers might be interested in.

・ DESIGNED BY ECLAIR DESIGNS