Smash it with a Bible

3.27.2014


circa 2007
I may have been responsible for this.
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A few weeks ago, my girl Kate wrote this post about how blogging is weird, because we put so much stuff out there for random strangers to read, so we all feel like we know each other, but really we don't know each other at all.

For real, you guys. I could be a dude.

Think about it.
But really don't think about it.

Anyway, today I'm going to share ten lesser-known facts about The Lady Okie just so maybe you can feel like you know me a little better.

1) I am not a dude.
Very important to start with that one, I think. Just to clear the air.
(Reading this back, I'm not sure why I felt like the fact that I am not a dude is a "lesser-known fact." It's actually very well known.)

2) I am left handed.
Although I bat and throw and bowl right handed, so basically I'm just one of those weird people who uses both hands for things. Sometimes I confuse myself and forget which hand I'm supposed to use for stuff. Very strange. I don't know.

3) I've worn glasses since the fourth grade. My prescription is NEGATIVE 5.5, which means I'm pretty much blind. Without my glasses, everyone and everything are just a bunch of blurry shapes. No, I have not seriously considered LASIK, although I hear I should.

4) I have a cyst on my right wrist that sometimes is quite large and makes my wrist ache, and sometimes I wake up and it's completely gone. And then it comes back. Freaky. My dad had one too on the same wrist! But his went away, and he claims he "pushed it back in." Yeah, okay. To get rid of mine, he suggested I get drunk and let him smash it with a Bible. I said thanks but no thanks.

5) Most of my Oklahoma friends call me Reese. It's a long story, but Reese is my maiden name, so it's not that weird. And actually, I like it a lot.

6) My favorite thing to eat is a BLT. With mayo, of course. And on toasted bread. If the bread's not toasted and there's no mayo, it's really just not even worth eating.

7) I do not like hugs. I will hug Jordan, obviously. And my family. But in general I avoid hugs at all costs. I feel like they're awkward, and I would rather just wave or knock elbows or something. Because clearly knocking elbows is less awkward than a hug.

8) I have six ear piercings. Three in my right earlobe, two in my left earlobe, and one in my left ear cartilage. The top right piercing happened on a missions trip in high school. Someone pierced it using a safety pin and a potato.

9) I am a loud talker. Like, really loud. As in, people regularly have to "shush" me. Also, I am incapable of whispering. I think I have a medical condition. The good news is that I will never be able to talk about you behind your back while you're in the room. Because you will be sure to hear me.

10) I am 5' 7 3/4". I feel very strongly about including the three-quarter inches. I usually round up to 5'8" when asked how tall I am. Jordan is 5' 7 1/2". This was a concern for me initially. One of the stipulations for my future mate was someone who was taller than me, but I figured maybe a quarter of an inch wasn't dropping the bar too low. Literally. (See what I did there?)
* * *

So there you have it! Did you learn anything new about me? 
Hopefully now you feel like you know me better. I would like to take our online relationship to the next level. I think we're ready. Unless there's something else you've always been dying to know about me, in which case ask away!

Here are some questions you can answer if you choose so I can get to know you!


Are you right or left handed?
How tall are you?
How do you feel about hugs?


And last but very much definitely not least.... Are you a secretly a dude?

59 comments:

  1. No hugging? I want to hug you! Hugging is fun! Can't believe you're a non-hugger Reese...
    And also that your name in Okie is Reese. I like it, but in my mind you're The Lady Okie! I somehow picture your real-life people calling you that. They should.

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  2. I love learning more about bloggers. It's the little things that make us who we are, right?
    I am as blind as you are (and still hate that fact, although it's now been more than fifteen years since I've started wearing glasses/contacts). And I love your dad's Bible-smashing idea for your wrist. Not that I would like him to do this to you, but the image really made me smile (I was about to write "laugh out loud", but I don't write that anymore except when true). :)

    I am right handed (but I wonder if deep down I might be left handed, because I hold my fork/knife like a left handed person and I always feel stronger with my left arm/hand than my right). Someone must have lied to me when I was little.

    I am of average height, I guess. 1,63m (we French people have trouble using "inches" and "feets" when it comes to measuring things).

    I like hugging and being hugged by people I love. Not by strangers.

    I am, in fact, secretly a dude. So glad to get this out of the way. Thanks, Amanda. :)

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  3. I never thought you were a dude (though it is creeping me out a bit to think about it :), but I am surprised by how tall you are! I'm a shrimp at 5'2''. I love the name Reese. I am also a horrible speller, and I have passed this on to most of my kids. And all my kids are lefties, though neither my husband and I are. And personally, unless I know you really well (as in hubby and kids), I don't like hugs much either. But I feel a little rude about that!

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  4. YES to LASIK! Do it!!! I was not nearly as blind as you but I still have had to wear glasses/contacts basically as long as you have. I wore contacts for the longest time but they were so uncomfortable so I gave up and switched to glasses...after a couple years of that I finally got LASIK and I love it! I mean, I thought my glasses were really cute so I definitely miss that part, but being able to actually see when I wake up in the morning seems like a fair trade :)
    I totally love the fact that you are not a hugger. I am not one, and I feel like a freak, but just...no. My husband and my family and friends I really like, sure...but for most people, it's a no. And what about people who want to hug you when you first meet them?! I need to know you for way longer than 5 seconds before you go invading my personal space like that!

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  5. ha! love this!! i feel like i know you well enough now to know that you're not secretly a dude!
    i'm right handed although i always wished i was left handed. i actually would sit down and try to "teach" myself to be left handed when i was little. on more than one occasion. i'm still a little bitter it didn't work out.
    i'm 5'5" and i like hugs but i am such an awkward hugger!

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  6. Lefties rule! And, I include the 3/4 inch when describing my height. Gotta be accurate you know. Love you girl.

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  7. You crack me up!

    1. I am a righty.
    2. We're the same height. I have long legs and a short torso.
    3. I am more of a hugger than I used to be, but I usually don't hug a person the first time we meet. I have had brides hug me after I've helped them find their wedding gown, but...awkward.

    Nope, not secretly a dude. :)

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  8. 1. I am right handed, even tho my dad was a lefty. I try to use left, but oh my so terrible with the left.
    2. Taller than my mother was and taller than both my sisters, but not taller than my daughter. Oh, you want a number?
    I am 5'3" 1/4. yes, I cling to that 1/4.
    3. I like hugs, but only with those I know pretty well. With hubby and family, yes we do that a lot. Kisses on the cheek from friends and acquaintances really irks me.
    4. Secretly, I am not a dude, but sometimes my blogs posts are done or added to by a dude, my hubby....

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  9. RIght handed, 5'7.75" (I always round up too)...so funny!, I'm a total hugger.You better believe that if I ever meet you in person, I'm going in for the hug. I hug strangers...I actually hugged the lady that is doing the window treatments for our house. To be fair, we did chat and drink coffee for like two hours. But anyways...I'll hug anyone (except when dirty patients try to hug me).

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  10. Get drunk and smash it with a bible... this is the best and most hysterical medical remedy I've ever heard! I'm a righty, I'm 5'6", I have a strict no-hug policy except for my boyfriend/parents, and I'm not secretly a dude. Or at least I hope not? That would be one heck of a shock.

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  11. Righthanded, 5' 2 1/2" (yes that 1/2 is very important) and I appreciate hugs more as I get older.

    My husband is lefhanded but golfs right because those were the only clubs available when he was learning.

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  12. hahaha I'm so glad you didn't let your dad smash your wrist with a bible. Or did you?

    I am short! As in, the size of most children... 5'1. My husband is 6'4 and my six month old daughter is in the 95%tile for height and was estimated that she would be 5'8 based on her growth patterns and our heights. I will live vicariously through my daughter and her long legs. Sigh.

    Also, I'm a hugger and I HATE it when people give floppy fish hugs. It makes me really uncomfortable. Why not just opt out of the hug?! Throw a high-five or perhaps an elbow?

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  13. Haha, you have a Ganglion Cyst! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganglion_cyst

    They're harmless, but if it's really bothering you, you can have it removed or aspirated. It's better to have it removed b/c a lot of times they'll come back if they just aspirate it... although they can recur after surgery as well. And yes, whacking it a Bible is a legitimate treatment, haha.

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    1. Yes! It's a ganglion. That's what it's called. I keep forgetting. I actually did look into having it removed. I went to a hand dr. and everything, but it wasn't going to be covered under my insurance at the time and was going to cost like $1,000! I decided it wasn't hurting me that bad. Right now it's very low. It's just weird how it comes and goes. And that my dad had it in the same exact spot on the same wrist! We wondered if it was genetic because actually my grandma (dad's mom) had one too in the same spot, same wrist. He was serious about that Bible thing. I know that's a "legitimate" option back in the day, but seriously. OUCH.

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  14. I am also not secretly a dude. :) I am right-handed, but left-footed. (I snowboard goofy-foot and do cartwheels with my left foot first.) And I am 5'3" when I am lying about my height. That extra quarter inch is a big deal.

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  15. Are you right or left handed? Right handed
    How tall are you? 5'6ish. I feel like this changes from time to time. Maybe I'm slouching?
    How do you feel about hugs? I am not a touchy-feeley person. I hug my daughter, husband and parents. That's about it.

    And last but very much definitely not least.... Are you a secretly a dude? Nope, definitely a woman!

    Also, I have a weird cyst on my right wrist too! Like, kind of below the thumb joint. It goes away and comes back. Sometimes it's gone for long periods of time. Weeeeeird.

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  16. HA! I am 5'7 and my only physical stipulation for my spouse was that he had to be taller than me. I married someone an entire inch shorter. We make plans and God laughs, right?

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  17. I'm 5'6, but hearing you say that you're 5'7 3/4 makes me think maybe I should re-measure myself, because I have always imagined you being much taller in my mind. One inch separates us? I think not. I too hate hugs. I love hugs from Jacob and my family and from really close friends when the situation calls for it, but most of the time I'll just wave. I'll have to try that knocking elbows thing. I could get into that. I am right handed, but I also do a weird number of things with my left hand, such as put my contacts in. I don't think I can even get my contacts in with my right hand at all. How did I learn this? I have no idea. Also, can I just ask whether your dad thinks your wrist cyst (that rhymes) is demonic or something? I mean, why a Bible? Is it because it would give a little more when it hits you (as opposed to say, a brick)? Is it because it would smack the demon cyst with the power of Jesus? I don't understand. I have actual bones that stick out on my wrist that no amount of Bible-smacking will cure. Not a dude.

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    1. So, my dad just likes to say things for the shock factor. My guess is that he enjoyed the irony of being drunk while using the Bible. That's pretty much it, I think. But OMG a brick? The thought makes me shudder. And ONE inch does not separate us. One inch and THREE QUARTERS. Come on now.

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  18. I have a -7 RX and have sold glasses/contacts to someone with a -21, so you're really not that bad off comparatively.
    I'm right handed, but bat better left handed.
    I'm 5'10" so the short guy thing was always an issue, but Jarrod's 6'4" so we're good there :)
    And no, I'm not a dude. Obvs.

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    1. Um, -21? HOLY BLINDNESS. I didn't even know that was a thing!

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  19. Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't hug!
    It's so awkward for me too! I just give people high-fives! LOL

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  20. We have a lot of these in common! Most importantly the whole not being a dude thing. As well as a love for BLTs, being loud talkers, and being blind as a bat! So neat to learn a bit more about you :)

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  21. -I am right handed. I can awkwardly hold things with my left hand, but please don't ask it to be anything more than awkward.
    -I'm 5' 4 1/2" tall. The half inch is extremely important to me. Extremely.
    -Hugs. Ugh. They're not my thing and I come from a hug loving family. I don't mind hugs from my dad because he's well, my dad, and he makes it all better. My mom, of course, is a fantastic hugger, and my semi-boyfriend gives hugs that make me feel like all will be right in the world. My brother squeezes the life out of me. So, that's 4 people I'm ok with hugging, but everyone else can stay away, please. :)
    -Also, I'm not secretly a dude, but sometimes I think it would be cool to be a dude because for whatever reason I feel like dudes are more easy going than I am and living a less stressful life would be nice.

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  22. #4 made me laugh SO HARD. So, so hard. I can't even take it.

    I got glasses when I was in kindergarten, and it was a horrible experience. They didn't realize I needed glasses until one of my brother's friends kept making faces at me. My mom told him to stop, and he said, "But she did it first!" My vision was so bad I was crossing my eyes. bahahahaha. I don't even know how bad they were then though because every time I went to get new glasses, my eyes had improved. They thought I would grow out of glasses. Buttttt I've been holding steady at +2.75 with astigmatism in only one eye.
    I've always wondered what it would be like to wake up and be able to see, but I honestly feel like I'd lose part of my identity if I got LASIK. Is that weird? It's probably weird...

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  23. I love all these little Lady Okie (most assuredly NOT Dude Okie) facts!

    I always say that I'm 5'5". BUT the last two times I've been to the doctor, they have said 5'6". I'll take it. Doctors know best - who am I to argue?
    I'm right handed BUT when I played volleyball, I served left handed.
    I don't mind hugs when I know the person pretty well. Or even if I just met them and felt a good connection to them.

    -Amy

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  24. Another blind blogger! The only people I have met with RX as bad as me is in blog world. I'm sitting pretty at -10 but I started wearing glasses in 4th grade too!!!

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  25. Fun post! I feel like I learned a lot, and I should be embarrassed but how excited I got about your wrist-cyst. Is it a ganglion cyst? I had one on my left wrist for years and it started getting bigger, so I had the dr's drain it (Sorry, getting gross here!) and it never came back! Also, I'm 5'4" and before Jared always dated REALLY tall guys (6ft+), so I was worried at first about dating a guy who was "only" 5'10" ... I'm ridiculous, I know ;)

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  26. Bahaha, loved this. You are too funny! 1) I am right handed, and right eye dominant but apparently I don't take that into consideration when I'm looking through the lens of my camera. 2) I'm 5'3" and grew to love my shortness in high school :) and 3) I love hugs! Although, not from strangers. Those are awkward.

    Lastly...the secret's out--I am not actually a dude :)

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  27. Lol, you have the funniest posts. Love it.

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  28. I am so down with BLT's too--in fact, you just inspired what I'm getting for lunch today :) Did you ever watch the loud talker Will Ferrell SNL Sketch? Your loud talker comment made me think of him saying "THIS IS ME WHISPERING. THIS IS ME SHOUTING" in the exact same level. You can watch it here: http://vimeo.com/64921990.

    And I'm 5'5 on a good day :)

    Amy | Club Narwhal

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  29. As Alison identified for you, the wrist thing is a ganglion. I used to have one, right on the peak of my wrist, when I was younger. My dad took me to the doctor one day who looked at it, angled my wrist around until the ganglion was at its biggest, pursed his lips and said "hmmm, let me just consult my dictionary about this", picked up a massive Collins dictionary and proceeded with one mighty thwack to splat the ganglion into oblivion. Apparently I went white as a sheet. But it never came back!

    I'm also on the "Should I/Shouldn't I" re Lasik. On the one hand - yay vision, on the other hand - erm long term side effects doubt... :/. But running in the rain with glasses on does get annoying really quickly!

    Same Height High Five (not hug).

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  30. I'm right-handed but use my left hand for holding fork to eat...I had to sit between two of my left-handed siblings at the dinner table. 4'10.5".....sometimes I round up to 5', though. Gee, I wish I was taller. Not into hugs.

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  31. Bahahah! "Dropping the bar a quarter inch" - I died! I love the name Reese! It's actually one of the girl names I would love if I ever had a daughter :) I'm glad your not a dude... since ya know, I did think that. Ha! Kidding! No I'm not a dude either. I'm right handed. My left hand is pretty much obsolete. I don't know why, but it's so ackward sometimes. I'm 5'5" ish. I honestly don't know. I think that's what my driver's license says. I'm a complete hugger! I never think about the anti-huggers out there.. maybe I should think about that next time. Haha.

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  32. Reese is on of my nicknames too! I like it as well :) It was my soccer nickname, but only a couple people still call me that. That's crazy about the cyst, and your Dad's idea is too funny! Glad you're not a dude, have a great weekend!!

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  33. LASIK...you do need to SERIOUSLY consider it! It's the best investment I've made in myself. I was T.E.R.R.I.F.I.E.D. to do it, but now I look back and wonder why I waited so long. I had it done two years ago, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. It's kinda awesome to be able to see the clock when I wake up in the morning! Oh, and the whole absence of contacts/glasses is a perk too! :)

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  34. I'm left-handed, 5'5 and I think hugs are great with family and close friends, awkward with pretty much anyone else. And no I'm not a dude.

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  35. So interesting fact, I'm right handed, for most things. But, I grew up in small town Oklahoma where shooting is a sport. Because of my terribly poor eyesight, I had to learn to shoot a rifle left handed. I can see much better out of me left eye than my right.

    I also live in The Big Town, OKC. We should hang out sometime.

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  36. I'm very strongly a left-hander. I can't use my right hand for just about anything. Angel's shorter than your husband and I'm just barely shorter than he is. :P Basically all the rest of the guys in my family are more than 6 foot tall so they kind of look at us as midgets.

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  37. I seriously learned a ton of new things! Okay, you're not a hugger?! I totally am. Sometimes it makes me awkward, but I just go with it ;) but omg...GIRL I have that same prescription. ITS HORRIBLE!!! Caleb like doesn't understand how I can't see him when I wake up in the morning w/out contacts in...he's like "HOW AM I BLURRY!!?? I'M RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!" lol -- totally feel your pain!

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  38. Okay---There is not much in this universe better than a BLT. I'm so with you there. I'm a loud laugher. I can be heard for several counties over. And I love to laugh!

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  39. Omg in high school I had a cyst on my wrist too and my home ec teacher suggested smashing it with a really big book. I am a lefty too and I am 5'6" and I am not a dude. ;) I am a total hugger but I give you a high five if that is better. :)

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  40. Oh my gosh, I have the same wrist thing. Ok, not the same but close. Last year I went in to school and the custodian didn't put a sign up saying that the floor was wet. I took a step on the fresh wax and went flying. Seriously. The flower pot I had with me broke, books went everywhere, and the wax ruined my pants and purse. I also developed this giant lump in my wrist that wouldn't go away. Eventually I went to the doctor and he was telling me how many years ago people would smash the wrist cyst with a bible to make it go away. I'd never heard of such a thing and thought he was crazy! P.S. I'm glad you're not a dude. That's not how I picture you.

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  41. Love your nickname! I'm a shorty at 5'3" (and my husband is 6'3")! I'm only huggy with people close to me. Not a dude... although I did dress up as one for a college French class skit once (wearing my very tall husband-to-be's suit, which must've looked hilarious...)

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  42. I fall in the middle of the hug spectrum - like them more that you, less than Danny Tanner.
    Not secretly a dude. But last week I went roller skating (!!) (so awesome. they had an organist that played barry manilow) (ps i am addicted to parentheses) and they did not have women's skates big enough for my crazy big feet and I had to get man skates. :( turrible.

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  43. It's like we're almost the same person (I'm just a shorter version of you). I'm a lefty! But I use scissors with my right hand because, you know, school. I've grown to like hugs a little more but still find them uncomfortable with new people, for obvious reasons. However, I use to be permanently opposed to them.

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  44. this is fantastic and YOU ARE HILARIOUS. that picture. hahahah. i love this, and blogging IS weird. but awesome.
    have a great weekkkk!
    taylor

    bloganticipation.blogspot.com

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  45. So I am just 5' and for some reason I always just imagine other people as being short too and was totally surprised you are so much taller than me!

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  46. i saw a ted talk about how 7 hugs a day is optimal? how can that be possible? whom would we be hugging all day? i hug jon every now and again, and my friends... sometimes? anyway, you seem just fine and you're probably not getting anywhere close to that 7, huh?

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  47. Righty; 4'11 (&1/2!)" tall…er, short; and hugs are WONDERFUL…unless their awkward, in which case they're not wonderful.

    Got you beat on blindness-negative 7.5 in the right eye and negative 8.5 in the left…that is in contacts; my glasses prescription is even worse!

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  48. Ha, besides a name we also share the same glasses prescription. Is your glass ridiculously think if you look at yours on their side as well? I do love hugs though. However, my mom isn't a hugger so I can completely respect that ;) x

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  49. I'm not a hugger either. This has really offended D's family I think...who are definitely huggers. When I walk into a room, my first thought isn't to hug someone. I smile and say hi and believe that is enough. lol. I also talk loud too. I have no idea I'm doing it till D shushes me. Then I get irritated because he just shushed me. ha!

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  50. Thanks for the blog post prompt!! I needed that today. http://www.daily-distraction.com/2014/03/getting-to-know-you.html.

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  51. I am right-handed. But I broke my right arm and had to have surgery (I have a pretty awesome scar) a few years ago, so I do some things with my left hand fairly well. Like eat. I can totally double fist my food. It is awesome.

    I'm 5'9 1/2 although my drivers license says 5'10. I think I've shrunk over the past 10 years. But my husband is 6'4" so, even though I'm tall. I am not tall at all when he is around. Which is like, always.

    I'm okay with hugs. I'd prefer not to hug but odds are if we are going in for a photo, I'm going to wrap my arms around you and get all up in your bubble. Also, if I'm drinking. Alcohol makes me huggy.

    I totally have a vagina. But I have a deep voice (for a girl, I'm told) so I've had a handful of times in my life where people have mistaken me for a guy. I was concerned about this but I've ready a few articles that say the deeper your voice the easier it is to show dominance/be persuasive - so I like to think it's a good thing.

    Also, I kind of hate that I never REALLY know someone online - and my husband is convinced everyone out there is out to steal our stuff, kill me, and wear my face or something. I try not to think about it.

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  52. I frequently had to deal with a ganglion cyst in my wrist in college - (I think mainly because of the 3 hours of piano practice a day.) Someone also suggested to me to smash it with a book! I opted not. Thankfully, I haven't dealt with it in several years. :)

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  53. Hmmm, come on. Did I really say that? Not sure the two should be used together. Drinking? Yes. Bible? Yes. The two together? Something seems wrong with that. Guess I shouldn't offer advice while drinking. And apparently you shouldn't be drinking while trying to operate a dishwasher. Love you and love your blog.

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  54. Oh girl...I'm a loud talker too! I'm right handed and like to hug...but don't worry, when we meet to eat blts.,I'll high-five or fist-pump you instead. Lol

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  55. I'm a righty, I LOVE hugs, and I'm 5'4"!! My boyfriend is about the same height as me so it's a little awkward, but not awful :)

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