Overheard

4.18.2014


Before marrying Jordan, I had no experience with boys who played video games. My brothers didn't play video games, and I never dated any boys who played (I also hardly dated, but that's a discussion for another day).  It was strange at the beginning, but over the past three years of marriage, I've gotten more used to this rather odd (to me) hobby. Now, understand: I'm not completely used to it, but I'm getting better. At least, I like to think I am.

But one thing I don't know if I'll ever get used to is the randomness of a startling eruption of shouting followed by a strange sequence of dialogue as Jordan and his friends try to avoid the calamity of certain video game death. (The dialogue, in case you didn't know, occurs because they all have microphones and talk to each other during the game. Jordan wears  headphones, though, so I only ever hear what he says.)

The following is a verbatim transcription of one such exchange (at least Jordan's side of it). I was sitting calmly in the living room answering emails, when all of the sudden I heard...
_____

The ghost. THE GHOST. (<---He seriously shouted this so loud that it scared me, and I choked on my sip of water, which is when I decided to open up a Word doc and type out everything else he said after that.)

You've got to shoot him, man. Well, he teleported. All right, we've gotta go get our crap.

Crap.

Awesome. 

That's good. 
We've gotta run and get them. 
It's gonna take all three of us. We're gonna have to do it one at a time. 

No, wait. Three at a time.

Snipers!

He's down.

I need help.

TASER COMING DOWN.
We gotta hurry! Come on.

Oh crap there's a lot of them.

Coming.
There's another one over there, but I'm almost out of ammo.

I have five rounds left.

Out of ammo.

I'm getting tased!
The taser, dude! He's three feet from me!

I'm down.
This is over.
___________

The end.
So... I guess he died? Those boys and their video games. Am I right?

P.S. 5 Funny Things I've Heard Jordan Say
P.P.S. Are you linking up for Runners Tell All on Monday? Get all the details here.
Chelsea Phelps said...

Oh my gosh, I could not relate to this more! I don't have any brothers and never dated any one who played video games, so it took me a while to understand why my husband loves them so much. I don't think I will ever get it, but I am trying my best to at least be supportive of the strange hobby. But the random yelling- I feel like I hear "Medic!" on the regular now a days. You are not alone, my friend.

XOXO
Chelsea
http://www.anchorsaweighblog.com/

Jenna Griffin said...

OH MY. Uhm...I'm pretty sure you have been listening to MY husband because I've heard this exact same one-sided convo come from Lamar's office upstairs. Maybe your husband and my husband are gamer friends!? Last night I was minding my own business watching the season finale of Scandal, and during an intense part I hear a loud BOOM and then "behind you! behind you! Man down!" come from upstairs.

I'm not sure if I'll ever get used to this! Ha. Gamer wives must unite! We should start a support group. ;)

Anonymous said...

Haha. My boyfriend does not play video games. Instead he plays guitar and then makes me watch hours of YouTube videos. I'm like "Bud, get off YouTube."

This his hilarious, though. What a good idea for a post! I would worry if someone said these things and they weren't playing video games. :)

Anonymous said...

You should hear my 7 year old boy and my husband play. It's so ridiculous it's funny!

Jeff Peerman said...

Hahaha, I remeber this game actually...yes he died. We all did :( it was a very sad day.

Beka said...

Amanda! My husband goes on video game spurts. He borrows them from his brother and then HAS TO FINISH THE GAME. One of the ones he got was a pirate one and it would play this song over and over ... "shave their belly with a rusty razor. shave their belly with a rusty razor early in the morning". One day, I was walking around and guess what I was singing?! That darn video game!

Maybe they view our blogs the way we view their video games. However, we don't say crap and talk about shooting everyone all the time...

Brandi said...

Ha! My husband has curbed the gaming somewhat, and never used a microphone, but my son just started doing this. Now from across the house I have to ask him to stop screaming. Minecraft Dragons attacking him and his friends, apparently. Boys.

Anonymous said...

Tyson play video games but the only he talks to the is the PS3 and the TV, at least Jordan is talking to real people. :)

The Lady Okie said...

Ha! I was wondering if you were going to see this post :) You guys. I was seriously cracking up listening to him. I didn't understand why he kept shouting about ghosts.

Jenny Fish said...

Last night I was packing to go to home for the weekend and then all of the sudden Daniel starts talking to himself in the living room and then he starts shouting about zombies. When I didn't even think twice about <-- that's when I knew I'd gotten used to this video game thing. Though, it's the strangest ever.

Jeff Peerman said...

Haha, Ghosts are terrifying and show up out of nowhere and Instantly kill you. We all yell and freak out every time one shows up. I wonder what Kyle thinks when I yell.

Tracy said...

Hilarious!!! I think I'm seriously going to start writing down the crap my husband says when he plays video games!

Jenn @ What You Make It said...

Hilarious! I took a video of my hubby before we were even dating at his house when he was playing video games with his roomies. It was dark, so I had to clarify to everyone that he was the one who screamed like a girl. Guys get SO intense with their video games, it's like real life!

Gentri said...

Haha I've never dated a gamer (and also haven't dated much, period). But this is hilarious

Caitlin | The Siren's Tale said...

I am laughing so hard my cheeks hurt! This is my life, summed up. Before I met Michael I didn't really know too much about video games or video game playing, outside of some awesome Mario Kart runs I had as a child. Now I'm knee-deep in video game everything, and constantly hear these types of conversations coming from the room next to me as he plays. The other night I finally had to tell him to quiet down, because I had heard about the "impending King attack" about 20 times. Really, video games?! Ridiculous!

The Lady Okie said...

He's probably writing down everything you say! I'll bet he keeps a notebook.

Delia Barnas Kearney said...

Hahaha, this is the best thing I've read all day. I need to do this!!! What fun! My husband has completely scared me before when talking into his headset for some game or another. Sometimes it will go quiet for awhile and I get a false sense of security....when BAM I jump because suddenly I hear him scream something like "AAAH what are you doing?!" Sigh. I agree with Jenna! There should be a support group :)

Holly said...

Haaaahahahahaha laughing so hard, this is SO true!! Guys are weird.

Kayla MKOY said...

OMG I literally have a draft in my blog posts titled "The things I hear when my husband games" -- it all sounds so perverted and HILARIOUS. I can SO relate...oh gosh, too funny!!

Joy Chambers said...

Haha, this is great! The only interaction I currently have with gamers are my students and when they start talking gamer lingo, it is both hilarious and terrifying. Glad you have instant entertainment within your own home.

Treasure Tromp said...

ha! this sounds like every other friday night when my fiancé plays video games with his brother in law. I'll be joining that support group :)

Christina @ The Murrayed Life said...

I am so glad I don't have to deal with this obsession (sorry Jordan!), though I do have to deal with an unhealthy obsession (to me!) of University of Tennessee sports which also comes with a lot less savory yelling. Maybe guys just have an innate need to watch and yell at screens?!

Kate @ Another Clean Slate said...

My boyfriend doesn't play video games but he does watch a ridiculous amount of documentaries. To each their own!

J is for Jessica said...

I made my husband read this, because all I ever used to hear as I was drifting off to sleep was 'I'm respawning!" "$&@($" and "Dude, hes right behind you', among other things. But now that we've had a baby there's pretty much zero time for lives so I had started to forget what I was missing!

Kristin Saling said...

I used to watch my husband play on occasion until we both figured out I couldn't sit through a combat simulation game without getting enraged by the bad tactics and lack of situational awareness in play. I'm just as bad at sitting through combat sequences in action movies. "Hey, what are you DOING! That's not cover!" Army girl probs.

Michelle said...

Oh my gosh. I've never understood video games either. My Husband plays something similar but he types his convos instead of using a headset. Our house will be dead silent and then all of the sudden BOOM a huge eruption of laughter comes from the office area. I almost pee my pants every time - which isn't hard to do when you're seven months pregnant.

Katie Adams said...

This is too funny- my husband does NOT have headphones though. The conversation is even more ridiculous because it's usually interrupted by the teenage boys who are playing with him. To which I try to bite my tongue....

Amber Marie said...

This. is. Awesome. You're lucky to have such a source of humor and material for blog posts! Oh, he sounds like he's a pretty good husband, too! haha! I will never understand video gaming. I had a playstation when the first ever version came out...I played Rugrats adventure games and Mary Kate and Ashley fashion show (not sure what the goal of the game was there)...I always ended up with a headache after more than 30 minutes.

Ember Grey. said...

hahahaha!!!! This is AWESOME. (Does he know you did this?!) Oh man. My husband plays video games sometimes and our arcade, but I've never stayed around to listen to him - I may have to do this!

Saxon @ Lets Drink Coffee, Darling said...

Haha this is so funny! I was an only child who was more interested in playing outside than video games. I never owned one, and I'm so bad at them I can't even use the controllers. He makes me play the N64 James Bond game sometimes and all I do is run into walls.

Such a great post idea...mine doesn't actually say anything when he plays though, he just makes whiny noises when he's about to die. That's actually pretty funny to listen to though. He's such a nerd. haha

Kristen said...

hilarious! mine plays a ton of games, but none of the ones with other people. He does talk a lot, but not really coherent words - lol! hope you are having a fun weekend :)

Bailie @ The Hemborg Wife said...

Fredrik does not play much video games but he will start talking at the TV when watching sports but it is always weird because we will be talking in English and then randomly he will yell at the players but it is in Swedish and always startles me!

Kerry @ Till Then Smile Often said...

Haha! My brother played video games when I was younger but not for awhile. It was mostly sports games too but there was a lot of cussing.

Julie @ Just the Joy's said...

Too funny! My husband doesn't play games so I don't really know what all that is that goes on in the gaming world. Growing up when my brother played nintendo it was so much different than it is today!

Jennifer Prod said...

i'm laughing as i read and scroll -- my brother and his friends used to have HALO tournaments at our house, and they would set-up TVs (they brought them over) and snacks throughout different rooms and game cords and screams and all sorts of things would take over for the house for the weekend -- always amusing for my friends :)

Charlotte F said...

This is so funny. My ex used to play Lord of the Rings Online and I would always laugh when he was playing in group. "Protect the hobbit! Avoid the goblin! Let's go and talk to Aragorn!"

Jeneric Generation said...

You want to know something funny? As I was reading "the ghost. THE GHOST!" I was literally taking a drink of water. I thought it was especially funny (probably because the ghost I was picturing looked like Casper, and imagining Jordan being frightened of that is just...funny), and started choking JUST AS I WAS READING THAT THAT IS WHAT YOU DID. Isn't that nuts? It just made it even funnier, and I just finished choking on my water because of it. Thanks for a good choke. It's the best medicine.

Amy said...

i'm just now reading this..>BAHAHHAHAHAHAH I can't even that is my brother all the way!

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