Focus on the people who are here, not the people who aren’t.
My mom has said this countless times about parties and events where you invite a lot of people and then only a handful show up. Or maybe a lot of people did show up, but there were one or two “key” people who didn’t.
It’s easy to focus on who isn’t there and forget about all the people who are. I feel like blogging and social media is kind of like that too sometimes. I’ve been blogging and active on social media long enough that after a while I have started to see the same people around, commenting on my blog and other blogs and sharing posts written by other bloggers. The internet is large and yet smaller than you’d think sometimes. Not everyone comments on every blog post or every Instagram post, and comments in general seem to have gone down over the past year or so. It takes time to type a comment, especially something that is more than “Great post!” and especially if you are reading on your phone, which so many people are these days (including me a lot of the time!).
It can be really, really easy to focus on who isn’t commenting or who isn’t reading or “liking” instead of focusing on who is. I know for me, sometimes I see a comment on another blog and think, “Well clearly X is reading and commenting on blogs, so why has she stopped commenting on mine?” Or I see one blogger share another blogger’s post in a weekly link roundup and think, “She sure likes that blogger, but I write about the same types of things. Why doesn’t she like my posts?” Then the spiral begins into wondering what you’re doing wrong, why other people don’t like you or what you possibly might have written to make them upset and unfollow. Are you not funny enough? Are your pictures not pretty enough? Are your posts not interesting enough?
It sounds silly and meaningless, and I guess it is, but still the struggle is real, my friends.
So today, I just want to encourage you while I encourage myself to focus on the people who come, not the people who don’t. Because the truth is, you probably are most definitely overthinking the whole thing anyway. Yes, maybe you did make someone mad, but if you’re a nice person (which I assume you are), you probably didn’t mean to, and you can’t control how other people react. Or maybe you do post about your baby (or your wedding or your clothes or your insert topic here) too much for someone, but that’s what YOU want to post about and what makes you happy.
This is your space, after all.
Your Instagram, your blog, your Facebook. And it’s not going to look like anyone else’s, just like theirs isn’t going to look like yours because no one will ever see the world from your eyes. And you won't from theirs.
So the next time you find yourself starting to focus on the people who aren’t there, turn instead to the people who are. You might just realize there are more than you think.