Dear Jillian Michaels,


I started your 30-day shred two days ago. 

I want to know why you like to torture innocent people.

Why do you think it's okay to wear only a sports bra and stretchy pants, parading your six-pack around while you point at your workout buddy and say things like, "Want these abs? I do too. I'd kill for these abs."

Umm...are you serious? Have you looked in a mirror?
Now that's just mean.

And that girl in the back? Natalie, I think her name is. She's grinning like a goon while I'm panting and sweating profusely. 

Not very nice, Jillian.

I'd also like to request that you not say, "Only a few more" when really you mean, "There are at least 15 left. The end is not in sight."

That would be great.

Oh, and what's with the Spanish fiesta music? I mean seriously.

And please don't say, "If you're on day five or six, you're probably feeling the difference."

No. I'm on day 2. It feels sucky. But thanks for helping me see the bright side. I really need to start being more positive.
Amy Nielson said...

hahaha, this was hilarious. it'd probably be funnier if i'd ever attempted the 30 day shred, but i haven't. because i'm scared of jillian michaels. good luck to you though :P

Geoff Reese said...

You make me smile! What you write 'aint bad either.