Patterns of Sleep: Where I Am Forced to Prove I Am Awake
What's that? You want to know who the bearded fellow is next to me?
Yes, Jordan's beard is out of control right now.
In honor of the Superbowl being over and the 2012 football season concluding, I wanted to share a quick story about yet another ridiculous nighttime episode courtesy of yours truly.
You should already know from reading ridiculous sleeping story number one and ridiculous sleeping story number two that I am quite an exciting bedmate. Poor Jordan is left to deal with the insanity because he is too light a sleeper to simply ignore it and too nice to kick me.
And while it's happening ("it" being my random mumblings/shoutings), Jordan likes to remind me that I'm sleeping and won't remember any of it the next day. He's right, of course. If I remember anything, it's snippets of a conversation that he pieces together while I laugh hysterically.
But this story I'm about to share is different. I remember the whole thing perfectly because for once I was, in fact, actually awake while it happened.
I don't remember what night of the week it was, but it had to be either a Sunday or Monday, because we had stayed up late to watch a football game. The Giants vs. someone else.
Anyway, I fell asleep first, per usual, and later when he kissed me goodnight, I woke up and started talking to him about something serious. Finances or some oddity. He assumed I was asleep and told me so. "You know you're asleep, right?"
But I wasn't, so I said, "No, I'm not."
I have, however, claimed to not be asleep before, so this didn't make him feel any more secure. "No, you're asleep."
This made me frustrated, as you can imagine, because I KNEW I was awake. "No, I'm not. I'm awake!"
We went back and forth a few more times before he decided to play a little game with me.
So you know what happened next?
He made me prove I was actually awake by answering trivia questions about the football game we'd watched earlier that night. He wanted to know who had won, what the final score was, and who the two quarterbacks were.
This went on for 2 or 3 minutes, while he quizzed me to prove my insistence that I wasn't asleep. After he was satisfied that I couldn't possibly be coherent enough during sleep to answer such specific questions with accuracy, he let me off the hook.
The next morning, for once, I had to remind HIM of something that had happened the night before. And neither of us could stop laughing about it. So now, apparently, I will need to stay informed on my sports trivia just in case I need to prove I am actually awake.