Struck Down in the Prime of Lime


Public service announcement: our apartment has become a petri dish of the flu virus.

We aren't letting anyone in or out, and we have a large collection of antibiotics and over-the-counter drugs as well as a stack of saltines and large collection of 2-liter Sprite bottles.

Andddd....I just realized I said "large collection" twice in one sentence. Go with it.

I haven't kissed Jordan since Friday, and in fact the most we've done is touch elbows and feet. Not at the same time. Also, I have been sleeping on the futon on our extra bedroom. We set up a morse code-type system of wall knocking. It's very romantic.

This was all in a concentrated effort for me to NOT catch the flu. Because, you see, I have an immune system of steel. It's like the great wall of China (before it started crumbling...okay, bad analogy), and I refused to catch his sickness because it would ruin my streak and subsequent ability to brag incessantly.

He got the flu Friday night and has been coughing and throwing up and feverish all week, and I was the supportive wife, getting him medicine and water and saltines while secretly I was thinking:

I held out pretty well myself against the virus. I was like, "IMMUNE SYSTEM OF STEEL!" and patting myself on the back for never getting sick. Plus, I have a lot of conspiracy theories about the flu shot, which is why I've never gotten one. But that's a post for a different day.

Anyway, so like I said, I held out until last night, when I started running a 102 temperature. But if you know me at all, it shouldn't surprise you that I refused to accept it. I was like Monica on Friends when she says she's in the "prime of lime" as she's coughing everywhere.

So I just started popping Tylenol and freaking out about my impending liver damage. (I love when you take a medicine for headache that includes the side effect of major liver damage.)

I was bundled in blankets and sweats and shivering and repeating, "I am not sick. I am not sick" over and over. Because I wasn't, obviously.

And now we're both like:

Because we both look TERRIBLE, and all the coughing makes us sound like a disturbing symphony of death.

Don't worry, though. I actually am feeling much improved. I think my flu bug was like a 6-hour thing. That's what I'm hoping, anyway, and Jordan's back at work now. We are resilient if nothing else.


Jamie said...

Hahaha omg I'm sorry y'all were/are sick, but this was hilarious! I LOVE Friends, so I was on board as soon as I saw the title.

Allison said...

That's awful!! But that comic about finding each other attractive again made me laugh out loud! Haha. Glad you are feeling better!

Ashley @TheCreamToMyCoffee said...

Yuck! I hate being sick!

And girl, I am the same way with the immune system of steel. I always tell people, "I never get sick." Which is mostly true... unfortunately, when I go down, I go DOWN.

Oh and I hope you feel better!

Katie said...

not fun!! hope you both get better soon!!

Tienna said...

I seriously try to incorporate a Friends reference at least once a day into conversation. I love that you do it in most posts. And that's one of my favorite episodes. "I'm find. Monica, when you put a D on fine, you're not find. I'm find. I'm find. Sigh. It's a really hard word."

Niken said...

Amanda, you make me laugh. i'm sorry that both of you sick though. i hate taking medicine too. when i got the flu, usually i let my immune system working to battle it first. if things are way out of control and that i get to work, that's when i take the medicine.