What's Mine is Mine


Here's something not so nice about me: I have a problem with sharing.

No, I am not an only child, but I am a firstborn child, which in some cases means the same thing. Ie, acting like a five-year-old about sharing.

I also lived on my own for 3 years before getting married and now, though I am married, currently have no pet or child. But NEWSFLASH: You still have to share with your husband. I know, right? Mind blowing.

When they told me marriage was about sacrifice, I didn't fully take that to mean I needed to sacrifice my stuff. So after almost 2 years (by the way, WHERE has the time gone?), I am still learning that what's mine is his, not mine.

I tell you the following story to illustrate my ridiculousness and highlight my embarrassment.

So a few months ago I told you that I won an ipad at work. (The work at which I was fired a few weeks later. SUCKERS. Okay, moving on.)

Since then, I've been all "this is my ipad, and you're just lucky enough to get to use it." And then, two nights ago, Jordan was listening to some music on it when I decided I wanted to look something up on the internet. Instead of asking nicely and being calm, I grabbed it and shouted, "IT'S MINE!" while ripping the headphones out.

It was not my best moment.

This made Jordan upset, as you can understand. Because I, um, acted like a five-year-old. So yes, I have a problem with sharing. Apparently to me, what's his is mine and what's mine is mine, and what's mine is NOT his.

I have since felt very convicted both by my obvious materialism as well as my inability to act my age.

But, guys, sharing is hard. Like, really hard.

This is where Jordan is most definitely making me a better person. He's always willing to share, and he is daily teaching me what a humble, selfless giver looks like. He is also making me realize what an insensitive selfish jerk I am a lot of the time.

That's how marriage is kind of a bummer, because it shows you plain as day how ridiculous and mean you are.

I'm not sure what else to say at this point except to note that I have since given Jordan full responsibility for the ipad. I am no longer thinking of it as "mine," and I'm also just getting it out there that I have a problem. For accountability and a public apology and for those of you who might (wrongly) believe I don't have flaws. I have lots of other problems too, but I'll just save those for another post.

Hi, my name is Amanda, and I don't like to share.

linking up with carissa.

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Erin said...

I can absolutely relate to this post girl! I had a hard time sharing things too once we got married... which is never a problem I'd even considered I would have! I would always tell Jared to use his OWN laptop, bc the Mac desktop is mine! Same with my fancy camera.. he wanted to take it somewhere and I was like, no it's mine! How childish, right?! I've come along way- but it really is a huge lesson to learn once you're married! Love your honesty in this post :)

Kate said...

Way to own up to it so publicly! I think everyone struggles with sharing as newly weds so I'm sure many can relate (raises hand). One thing Pete taught me is my propensity to keep score. We were talking once about chores and division of labor and I started listing off the last few times I'd had to do dishes, gawd. And then Pete came back with his own detailed list of dish-doing and ended with, "but it doesn't even matter because we should both just give 110% and do something that needs to be done when we see it needs doing." Wow. Yep. That's right. I'm wrong. I'm going to hang my head now. :)

Mimsie said...

Thanks for being so vulnerable to your fans! I am sure there are ways in which you make your husband a better person, too. A good marriage works that way.

Miss Jewells said...

First off, can I just say I love that photo?!? It's incredible!

Second, I can so relate to this. Love your honesty in this post! I have trouble sharing sometimes, too, but even more, I agree that marriage has this way of bringing out some of my most, let's say unflattering, characteristics. In the moment I can do something entirely absurd without even realizing it (for me, it's usually due to my incredible impatience) and the next second I'm realizing how unfair it is that Sean has to deal with it just because he married me. Those men sure do put up with a lot for us, don't they? I like to think it evens out though - they're not perfect either :)

Niken said...

i have problem with sharing too. but only when i don't have the chance to say no! i don't like it when people just grab my things without asking first. this rule can bend but only with a few people who i know can be trusted and responsible with the things;) thank you for sharing this.

Jeneric Generation said...

I can definitely relate to this....sharing IS hard. I struggle with sharing food. If I make it, somehow I have it in my head that all the leftovers are mine. And I get to take them to work. :( Not true. It's just a habit I constantly have to think about breaking.

Anonymous said...

I seriously love you. hahah not in a creepy way, but I am reading your posts and am cracking up!