Ask Anything Answers: Part 4 [A Vlog]

4.09.2015

I'm back with another answer to one of your "ask anything" questions! 

If you haven't noticed in previous vlogs I've done, the lighting in my apartment is awful. But last Saturday morning I realized I actually had a chance to make a video that wasn't going to be yellow! The downside was that I was still in my pajamas with crazy sleep hair. And glasses. Basically I have no shame.

Also, yes the video is making a weird sound. That's my computer! I can't fix it, okay? It's a refurbished Mac from 2008, and let's just say it's currently dying a slow and painful death. Add that right under my windshield on the list of things I don't want to talk about. #sendmoney

This vlog is only answering one question, and I am very interested to hear your answer to this one, so feel free to leave a comment after you've heard my answer!

The Question:
How do you determine the boundaries around what you're comfortable sharing about yourself, your family, and your friends? Do you have friends who have asked not to be on the blog? I'm curious about Jordan's take on what you divulge about him on the blog.



*If you can't see the video, watch it here.
**I realize it may look like I've strategically placed myself to the side so my race medals are presented in full glory, but really it was just the only way to avoid showing you the pile of crap that's sitting on our futon and the giant Cubs poster on our wall that needs to be dusted. This is real life.

Previous blog posts mentioned in the video:
-Post with the picture of my aunts
-Post recording what Jordan said while playing a video game
-On Sleep Rage
-Getting fired
-On faith: This and This

You might also like: 
Ask Anything Answers: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3

To submit more questions, click here! Happy Friday!

15 comments:

  1. I love the vlogs! Boundaries can be tricky. I think it's great that you ask for Jordan's input if you think he might have insight into something you've written.
    Have a great Friday!

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  2. It was interesting to read your take on it. Like you said, this is different for everyone. I love the straight forward and cool approach you take. Arnaud isn't comfortable being on the blog (except the odd picture now and then) so I always ask him before I post something or a story we experienced together.

    I love those Ask Anything vlogs! It's like having a small chat over coffee (or tea, in your case). :)

    Happy weekend!

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  3. That was so interesting! I have the opposite scenario to yours: my family has no understanding of blogging and have always been the kind of people who want to keep everything private. Everything! I think that's part of the reason why I'm doing it, because I felt so suffocated by it growing up. To me, sharing your story, including embarrassing and bad parts, is incredibly liberating and makes you connect with other people. Of course I censor as well; we all do. Mostly I leave people out of my blog because I feel like they wouldn't approve (old habits die hard); even though every time I asked my friends if they would mind to be included, they didn't.
    But there are a LOT who don't know of/don't read my blog - it's a grey area.
    Anyway, this was really interesting to me! Thanks for sharing this question with us.

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  4. It's interesting what you shared about who to include/who not to include!! When I did our anniversary post I didn't include any pics with others in it (bridesmaids etc), because I was too lazy to ask all the girls if they were ok being on the blog! Yet, at other times I have shared pics of friends without asking, ha so all to say I'm not sure if they cared or not, but then again they probably didn't see!

    Totally understand why you choose not to share some info. I think some things should be kept private!!

    As always, you are beautiful!!!

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    Replies
    1. I don't really ask my friends if they want to be put on the blog anymore, because I figure it's been 5 years. At this point they would have said if they didn't want to be on there! But I do think it's good to keep in mind that not everyone wants to be on the blog. That's why I ask Jordan just to make sure before I post something he might be uncomfortable with.

      Some things definitely should be kept private, and I think it's a fine line sometimes, but not everything needs to go on the blog!

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  5. I feel like you have just the right balance between what you share and what you don't. You're definitely not an oversharer, but you are honest and open about what you do share and I feel like you share enough to give the full picture without sharing every little detail...does that make sense?
    I wouldn't have judged you even if you had strategically placed yourself next to your race medals, just for the record ;)

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  6. I just love ask anything / answer posts! It's so fun.

    It was interesting to hear what you share / don't share on the blog. I just wrote a post about marriage and why I don't share much about it on my blog. It made me think a lot about why I don't share much about marriage.

    Also, isn't it weird how we share so much about our lives but then some things we are just silent about?

    I don't share much about my brother on the blog and I try to be really careful what I say about him. He is a super private person and he also flies F18's in the Navy so I'm scared that those terrorists will find my blog and get my brother. Extreme fear? YES! But I just try and be cautious in that area.

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  7. i've had friends with similar wishes -- they want to be on the blog MORE. i try, in general, not to put anyone in the blog unless i know it's something that they'll find flattering, so that probably helps :) as for jon, he seems to like that i'm record-keeping, and is generally supportive. the funny thing, i suppose, is that his secretaries read the blog, and they joke with him about his weekend/our happenings. most recently? both of them sent us baby gifts. so sweet :)

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  8. I think that the reason why your blog is so fun and feels so real is that you blog for yourself and not for sponsorships. I love reading. I find myself in the same situation with my husband -- I just ask him if I am not sure he is okay with me writing about something. There are a few things he has asked me not to write about and I am so glad he speaks up. And sometimes when we go out on a date I resist the temptation to write about it because I have learned that some moments are better off just between us.

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  9. That is such a GOOD question and one I think all bloggers answer at least once in their blogging lifetime or whatever you call it. I tend to err more on the side of cautious and while I will share about my faith, life, and singleness, I tend to stray away from posting about really personal things, because like you said, I don't always feel like I need to (or owe the internet) a story or post for everything that happens in my life.

    I really loved what you said about blogging to share and save memories and moments. Once you said it, I realized that's exactly why I blog, too. To write, save, and share stories. And to connect, too! :)

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  10. Good question. I think it is so personal for everyone. For me I don't like to swear on my blog because it's online and that never goes away and you never know later on who will see it. That doesn't mean I don't though I try not to, I am just very aware of not using it. I think when it is about someone else I try and share good memories. If it is someone else's "bad" history I try to not post about it since it can impact them. Such a fine line.

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  11. Just like you, I've had the "opposite problem" with friends and family wanting to be on the blog. I've had family members ask me after they read about a certain event we posted about--"Hey, we were there too! Why didn't you post pictures of us?"
    Angel clearly doesn't mind being blogged about--I think he loves being such a 'star' of my blog, and I find him hilarious so he features pretty frequently in a lot of my stories, but whenever topics start to dip into his past or his family or anything that could be perceived as scandalous, I definitely ask him and have him read my post before anyone else.
    I imagine that I appear a little more open on my blog than I actually am--when I 'announce' things, I tend to announce them very late in the game. Like I didn't even mention anything about Malaysia until I'd been blogging for about two years--and that kind of boggles my mind because the fact that my family lives there obviously impacts my life a great deal. There's just various sorts of things like that I either stay permanently silent on or reveal a long time down the road. But sometimes it sucks to keep some of the things that are most important to me under wraps from my favorite place to write. That's how I accumulate lots of word documents about whatever I need to write and can't post. No journals for this girl--I used to keep them, but I've developed an appreciation for digital storage after a few cross-the-world moves.

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  12. Ugh, I wrote a longer comment and blogger ate it.

    Anyway, I agree and do the same thing with Matt if there's a post on a sensitive topic, especially because I know a few of his family members read and I don't want to be negative even when I'm sharing about hard things. But in general, I like being an open book and sharing both good things and tough ones, because we need more honesty and less filtered look-how-perfect-life-is stuff!

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  13. This is a great question, which I've been pondering in my own blogging (which I've been taking a little break from). I so value other blogs that are open, genuine, vulnerable, etc., and yet sometimes I have trouble overcoming my sense of privacy to provide a similar sort of transparency in my own writing. I love your answer to the question that was posed to you. I'm curious too what your thoughts are on writing about and/or photographing your baby once she's born. I've not determined what my own approach would be to that.

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  14. Most every serious blog post on my blog is run by Christopher first. If nothing else, when it's a more serious topic then I often want another pair of eyes to read it to be sure that I'm communicating well what I want to say. And of course if it's serious then it's often about something personal to us. Whether that's my faith or something serious going on in our family. So I want to be sure that I'm not sharing too much or that I won't say something that could be taken the wrong way by someone else. As for the rest - I love that your blog has fans! Your aunts are adorable. :)

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Thanks for the comment! I will respond via email and also occasionally in the post thread if you are asking a question that other readers might be interested in.

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