Zombie Infestation


I think I've made a very bad decision. Let me explain, and you can decide for yourself.

Since I read all day for work, often I find it hard to get excited about reading when I'm at home. My eyes get tired, and sometime I just can't turn off the editing switch no matter how much I try. I also have a problem finding a new book to read. Sometimes I just want to read something random--an author I've never heard of or a book I have heard of but haven't had the chance to read.

I've had some pretty good books recommended by friends lately. There's a book I'd like to read but can't find at the library. And since I'm too cheap to buy said book, it's fallen off my radar.

Jordan, however, has his own smallish library in his room. I mean this guy has tons of books. Granted, most of them are not really my style, which is why I have yet to raid his bookshelf. He likes books about other worlds. Strange worlds. Worlds with their own phrases and characters I don't quite understand. One time I read the prologue of a book he was reading and didn't know how to pronounce half the words. And no, it's not because I can't pronounce words. They weren't real words! At least, that's what I tried to tell him as he laughed at me. Jerk. 

But in an effort to embrace the unfamiliar (and to get back into reading for pleasure), I asked Jordan to choose a book for me. Any book he wanted, and I would read it. Looking back, I realize this was a bit too idealistic. I mean, I know what sort of books he owns, what sort of books he likes to read. Why, then, was I surprised when he arrived at my apartment last night carrying the book. The book he'd chosen for me. The book I was now gonna have to read.

It's a documentary of a zombie war. 
Really? Really? Zombies, Jordan? Really? 
I get scared watching stupid movies like Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. Movies that clearly aren't real and are actually so ridiculous only a moron would be scared after watching them. Newsflash.
Me = moron.

I can picture it now: Me, huddling in the corner of my bed, by myself in my apartment, waiting for the zombies to get me. 

"Is this going to scare me?" I immediately asked him upon seeing the cover. "Cuz you know I get scared easy."

"No, it's not scary. Well, okay, I got scared when I read it, but that's only because I live on the ground floor. I wouldn't be scared living on the third floor like you."
"How come?"
"Cuz zombies can't climb."
Right. Duh. I knew that. No, wait, I didn't. I don't know anything about zombies. 
"So...you were scared when you read it?" I asked, glancing at the first page.
"Well, yeah. But like I said, that's only cuz I was living on the ground floor. My room had two big windows, and I got scared the zombies would crash through and start eating me."
"Right. Okay. And the third floor is better because..."
"Zombies can't climb."
"Can't they walk up stairs?" 
"Well, yeah. But all you need to do is put a couch or something at the top of the stairs."
"They wouldn't think to climb over the couch?" I'm really not sure why I was pressing the issue at this point. Considering that zombies aren't real anyway.
"No. Zombies don't have brains. They just eat brains."
Thanks. Perfect logic. Awesome.

So now apparently I'm going to read World War Z. It might take me a year to get through it all--mostly because I will only be reading it during daylight hours and when I am not alone.

This might have been a horrible mistake. A very bad decision. I'll keep you posted. Unless the zombies get me first.

(I do feel, on behalf of Jordan, the need to tell you that he does own what most would consider a normal book. He loves biographies, history books, and he actually owns a copy of Pride and Prejudice. [And, ahem, a copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.] He likes Tom Clancy novels, and Sum of All Fears was actually his second choice for me. So maybe after this I'll read Tom Clancy. Less terrifying. Less chance of someone trying to eat me.)